(no subject)
my life is so fuckin useless it really is. ive fucked up alot in my life . I'm never going to amount to anything my mom was so right. Ive lost everyone ive ever cared about and its all my fault. One of my friends said it wasnt my fault and that it was the persons but i care so much about this person they dont even know. But, i cant deal with the lies and them hurting me i want to be with them so bad . I just wish they would change but , im not worth it anyway. i hate being alone sometimes when im alone i freak out and i have to have someone with me to talk to and lean on . My grandma is usually that person but, she dosent understand what im going through . sometimes i just wish i could disapear off the face of the earth to get away from the pain i go through. It really hurts when its ur fault ur not with someone . Because the truth is u really love that person. Im going back to the way i use to be lonly because of the stupid shit i say . The person that i love so much said theyd change but, so far they havent made a effort to. i miss this person so much already and it hasnt even been a day . I cried myself to sleep last night . there is a habit that isnt very good that i cant help but do sometimes when i get really upset and im alone i freak out and i do something. Well i did that last night again . I havent done that in a while . The main reason i did it cuz i was alone and had no one to cry to . I kindove had the feelings i use to ahve when i was in foster and i use to cry alone and thats how i felt. im so fuckin stupid . God i really did it this time . I was lisening to this song where the words said " i will always love u " and its true when it comes to the person im talking about. when i get upset i say things i shouldnt say like its over when i dont really mean it. its just a easy way to " punck out on things" But , i will always love this person no matter what. and im really sorry ...................well thats all i have to say
kim
kim