Gettin' Some Air... and a Stripper!
I slipped free of that mass gatherin' and made my way into the hallway. It was a damn big hallway too. I mean how the hell did I find this place anyway? Must'a left my map somewhere else. No matter, I was a Slayer. Natural instincts or some shit. I started to mill around, opening doors lookin' around. Most of it was run of the mill borin' offices
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That's what they all say. When youre bored to tears and wasting your potential away by sitting your ass down in a comfy seat all day, it's supposed to be a comfort. Only that particular comfort stopped working for me a long time ago. I'm not lucky. Starring in a hit summer movie that takes in one hundred million in its first week is lucky. Working here? It's sucky reality.
I spun around to make a comment to Little Miss Doesn't Know How to Knock, and saw who it was.
Definitely not my lucky day. Not by a long shot.
"Cause you are gonna get one hell of a - show?"
"If I swung that way I'm sure it would be fun. But since I don't, and my new agent told me to avoid scandal for the next few months, I'll have to pass."
Secret's out. I'm going to have a career again, whether my friends like it or not. I can't imagine why they wouldn't be happy for me--except for Fred, she'll probably be jealous. Angel couldn't have honestly expected me to last very long as the Vice President of an evil law firm.
I get bored, frustrated, and annoyed. It's like, here I am, Cordelia Chase, seer to the rich and famous. That's it, and it's not even me. It's something someone gave me a long time ago, but it was never what I wanted.
I want to be an actress. I was stupid to give up on that in the first place, but Angel sucked me in with his big hero routine. He saves the world, while I sit around and think about how I could have been a movie star.
Well no more of that. I have an audition today. As soon as I throw Faith out of my office, I'm going to prepare for it.
"Hey, why don't you pay Gunn a visit. If anyone needs to let loose, it's him."
Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.
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Woah. Cordy got an agent? I stopped with the impromptu strippage and crossed the office all smiles like I had found some key to Daddy's vault. Agent meant some high celeb status and shit, which meant free stuff. Damn if I wouldn't mind some free shit.
I mean sure the Slayer gig was good an' all. Save the Damsel kill somethin' evil and gross. Sometimes slimey. But no one was all givin' me free shit. I mean I could use some fancy watch that tells me the time in Asia or somewhere.
I wanted to ask her for the hook up. Get in on that free line of give me stuff, but she was off in her own little world. I mean I don't blame her. She was gonna be famous. Hell she might need -
"Hey, why don't you pay Gunn a visit. If anyone needs to let loose, it's him."
"Cordy, wait. Don't you get it? Man this is like perfect! See I was gettin' all bored with the Slayin' gig anyway. Too much stress not enough pay off. If you are gettin' all famous and shit? You are gonna need some security. All those adorin' fans? I can totally take care of that for you."
The idea was brilliant. Why I hadn't thought of it before was beyond me. Probably all those lectures I heard growin' up about not amountin' to anythin' or even all that borin' shit that B' used to drill into my head about right an' wrong.
Screw right 'n wrong. This was like better and better.
"I think you should take me up on the offer, cause rumor has it this firm has a long list'a high profile clients. I bet they would be all bitin' to get their hands on my services."
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If by 'take care of' she means 'kill', my future will be chock full of lawsuits and out of court settlements. For the average person that would be a big pain in the ass, but celebrity and controversy go hand in hand nowadays.
An easypass to the A list? I like the sound of that.
And if the lights get too bright, Faith can stake them out.
"I think you should take me up on the offer, cause rumor has it this firm has a long list'a high profile clients. I bet they would be all bitin' to get their hands on my services."
"Oh really?" I smirk at her. "You were offering something a little different from security a few seconds ago."
I think it goes without saying that someone will be getting their hands on Faith's services before she leaves the building. And as for what services she's selling, I think Faith considers that yet to be determined.
She probably doesn't care. Either Faith works for me and gets paid a small yet reasonable fortune for protecting me against my devoted, obsessive, all in love with the Goddess that is me and are therefore intelligent fans, or she can go back to giving her show to whatever corporate hellspawn care to watch.
I can see why she's all about protecting me, but the latter half is in her nature too.
Ordinarily I'd talk this over with a friend or something, but Angel's busy signing off on the lives of evil scumbags, Gunn is fighting for them, Fred is, I don't know...creating them? Wesley is busy with his books, Lorne's fawning over actresses who aren't me, and Spike's opinion doesn't count because he's nothing more than an inferior Dennis who can't even hold a loofah.
This is one decision I have to make on my own.
"Alright, this could work. I'll hire you on one condition." Just one. I don't think that's asking too much when I'm giving a killer a career. "I'm the actress. I want all adoring eyes on me at all times. Yours, the fans, the paparazzi...no stealing the show with violence or nudity."
Because those are really the only two ways she could do it without crying 'rape'. And even then, they'd only look to see if she was famous.
"Save that for your day off."
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That was some star power I could deal with. Plus every so often I had to check if her lips were still goin', which mostly they were. Damn girl could yammer. wonder if her lips were gettin' some sorta aerobic thing with all that flappin' 'round. Had to be some benifit to talkin' that much.
Maybe I should ask some of her fella's 'bout that one.
Then I heard the word hire. Which was good. Was kinda' listenin' out for that one. Plus bonus word? Nudity. Damn, this girl was growin' on me.
Sure we had that whole- fuck? What did we have. Ah, didn't matter. Thing is now? I got a job. She's got an agent, and I'm gettin' free shit.
"Yeah, gotcha Cordy. No problem."
What did I just agree to anyway? Oh well, sure if I do somethin' wrong she'll let me know.
"So what's on the planner? Meet adorin' fans? File a restrainin' order? Go get a latte?"
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Good. We understand each other.
Although I wish I could be sure she'd paid attention. She looked like she spaced, and I'm not about to take a chance on her ruining my career. No vampire slayer is going to outshine me before I get my moment in the spotlight this time. And I'll be damning something if I let Angel get in the way again too. Preferably him for standing in my way, the same way he always has.
If he's such a big champion, why doesn't he keep it secret like Batman and Superman, and that gay one with the bug costume? I swear, Angel does it for the attention.
We do all of the work, he gets all of the credit.
I mean really, where would he be today without my visions? I'm his link. You don't see me getting a penthouse and gaining a reputation. I kept quiet. I was the seer on the sidelines.
Screw that. I quit.
I always knew I was the next Julia Roberts. Even Faith sees it--which really, really says something about how damn good I am.
"So what's on the planner? Meet adorin' fans? File a restrainin' order? Go get a latte?"
"You know what a latte is?"
She must be under the assumption that it's alcoholic. Otherwise, I'm giving up coffee for life.
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