"But... But I want to help!! Isn't there anything I can do to...you know. Help?"
I gestured at Harmony, who was getting herself dangerously close to Spike, who even for him, was starting to get more and more irrational by the second.
"You see? She's volunteering. Harmony wants to be right where she is, and if you're too self-centered and stupid to realize that, you're way beyond my help, Spike!"
But then again, he always had been, hadn't he? I'd never understood Drusilla's fascination with the little whelp before he was a vampire, and still didn't get the attraction after he'd crafted his little 'Spike' persona for himself. He was kinda entertaining every now and then, but overall? Pain in the ass, par excellence.
"Yeah, and you just got t'throw the word 'jackass' into every fuckin' thing you say t'me. Come now, you can think up a better name for me than that, can't you, Gramps? Or has your tiny little brain finally--"
Spike seemed to forget his ghostliness, falling on his noncorporeal ass right through the wall. I rolled my eyes at his scramble to get back onto his feet.
"My point exactly," I said coolly, "nice demonstration... jackass." I turned to Harmony, an apologetic expression on my face. I really, really had never wanted to drag her between yet another argument between Spike and me.
"And I -- well I typed for you. A lot. Sometimes even fast."
"You did," I said, forcing a smile, "and I really appreciated it. Still do, in fact. I appreciate... well, all kinds of things about you, Harmony."
Spike, of course, couldn't stay out of a conversation for very long.
"It's undead. And see! I was right!"
Turning toward the shorter vampire slowly, I gave Spike about the most frustrated, annoyed expression I could make.
"No one said you were wrong, you moron."
I buried my face in my hand. It was getting completely ridiculous, I was getting a headache, and I was sure that all of this was getting Harmony terribly upset. Maybe I should give her a day off, I wondered, to make up for it.
"Harm, luv, pet... baby... want me t'tell him t'sod off? Cuz, you could always wind up givin' the old man a happy, and he'd lose his soul... and then were would we be, hmm?"
My head snapped up.
"I'll have you know that any intentions I have are completely honorable. Harmony's far too good a... secretary to think otherwise. Hell, Spike, she's way too good for you, period."
"Harm, luv, pet... baby, want me t'tell him t'sod off? Cuz, you could always wind up givin' the old man a happy, and he'd lose his soul... and then were would we be, hmm?"
Spike was doing that slow thing again with his talking, where he gets this purr thing in the back of is throat? I didn't let him notice my noticing though.
"I just don't want there to be anymore yelling," I said quickly, meaning it. "So does that mean happy too?"
"You see? She's volunteering. Harmony wants to be right where she is, and if you're too self-centered and stupid to realize that, you're way beyond my help, Spike!"
Oh. Ok? Ummm...waitaminute. I scooted closer to Angel and leaned in, confused. "Hey! I am always willing to volunteer. Anything to get noticed, corporate ladder and all that stuff. But what did I just volunteer for?"
I see they didn't listen to the part about the yelling though. Ok, all right then. I heard.
"You did...and I really appreciated it. Still do, in fact. I appreciate... well, all kinds of things about you, Harmony."
"Aww bossy," I looked up at him and grinned. "I appreciate you too! And my new desk. You have to know I am not just saying that okay?" All of a sudden, for the first time like EVER, I really really really loved my job.
Like really!
"I'll have you know that any intentions I have are completely honorable. Harmony's far too good a... secretary to think otherwise. Hell, Spike, she's way too good for you, period."
"Okay, ya know what?" If they weren't listening about the whole yelling thing, then I was just gonna have to tell them. I mean I know I did before, but I would just have to again. And as long as I didn't have to spell it out? I should be fine. "Angel, who don't you go that way," I pointed over to her desk, with a smile. "I am sure there are all kinds of important things for you to do. And Spike, why don't you go that way?" I pointed at the door, and then the wall, before my hand sorta strayed to the floor. "Or I guess whichever way you want to go. I am sure there are things you can do too!"
There! I grinned.
"And I am going to go this way." I started for my desk, tossing my hair one last time. "Let me know when ya'll need any typing!"
I gestured at Harmony, who was getting herself dangerously close to Spike, who even for him, was starting to get more and more irrational by the second.
"You see? She's volunteering. Harmony wants to be right where she is, and if you're too self-centered and stupid to realize that, you're way beyond my help, Spike!"
But then again, he always had been, hadn't he? I'd never understood Drusilla's fascination with the little whelp before he was a vampire, and still didn't get the attraction after he'd crafted his little 'Spike' persona for himself. He was kinda entertaining every now and then, but overall? Pain in the ass, par excellence.
"Yeah, and you just got t'throw the word 'jackass' into every fuckin' thing you say t'me. Come now, you can think up a better name for me than that, can't you, Gramps? Or has your tiny little brain finally--"
Spike seemed to forget his ghostliness, falling on his noncorporeal ass right through the wall. I rolled my eyes at his scramble to get back onto his feet.
"My point exactly," I said coolly, "nice demonstration... jackass." I turned to Harmony, an apologetic expression on my face. I really, really had never wanted to drag her between yet another argument between Spike and me.
"And I -- well I typed for you. A lot. Sometimes even fast."
"You did," I said, forcing a smile, "and I really appreciated it. Still do, in fact. I appreciate... well, all kinds of things about you, Harmony."
Spike, of course, couldn't stay out of a conversation for very long.
"It's undead. And see! I was right!"
Turning toward the shorter vampire slowly, I gave Spike about the most frustrated, annoyed expression I could make.
"No one said you were wrong, you moron."
I buried my face in my hand. It was getting completely ridiculous, I was getting a headache, and I was sure that all of this was getting Harmony terribly upset. Maybe I should give her a day off, I wondered, to make up for it.
"Harm, luv, pet... baby... want me t'tell him t'sod off? Cuz, you could always wind up givin' the old man a happy, and he'd lose his soul... and then were would we be, hmm?"
My head snapped up.
"I'll have you know that any intentions I have are completely honorable. Harmony's far too good a... secretary to think otherwise. Hell, Spike, she's way too good for you, period."
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Spike was doing that slow thing again with his talking, where he gets this purr thing in the back of is throat? I didn't let him notice my noticing though.
"I just don't want there to be anymore yelling," I said quickly, meaning it. "So does that mean happy too?"
"You see? She's volunteering. Harmony wants to be right where she is, and if you're too self-centered and stupid to realize that, you're way beyond my help, Spike!"
Oh. Ok? Ummm...waitaminute. I scooted closer to Angel and leaned in, confused. "Hey! I am always willing to volunteer. Anything to get noticed, corporate ladder and all that stuff. But what did I just volunteer for?"
I see they didn't listen to the part about the yelling though. Ok, all right then. I heard.
"You did...and I really appreciated it. Still do, in fact. I appreciate... well, all kinds of things about you, Harmony."
"Aww bossy," I looked up at him and grinned. "I appreciate you too! And my new desk. You have to know I am not just saying that okay?" All of a sudden, for the first time like EVER, I really really really loved my job.
Like really!
"I'll have you know that any intentions I have are completely honorable. Harmony's far too good a... secretary to think otherwise. Hell, Spike, she's way too good for you, period."
"Okay, ya know what?" If they weren't listening about the whole yelling thing, then I was just gonna have to tell them. I mean I know I did before, but I would just have to again. And as long as I didn't have to spell it out? I should be fine. "Angel, who don't you go that way," I pointed over to her desk, with a smile. "I am sure there are all kinds of important things for you to do. And Spike, why don't you go that way?" I pointed at the door, and then the wall, before my hand sorta strayed to the floor. "Or I guess whichever way you want to go. I am sure there are things you can do too!"
There! I grinned.
"And I am going to go this way." I started for my desk, tossing my hair one last time. "Let me know when ya'll need any typing!"
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