"Well, now that's just... silly. I can't imagine how anyone here wouldn't like you. Plenty to like."
"Plenty to like," I echoed, confused. No one liked me around here. I wasn't that out of it. Unless -- I did a quick visual check, as good as any undead gal could do these days. "You think I'm fat don't you? This is you when you think you are being
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FUCK!
I floated up two levels, and saw Harm at her desk. Well, shit, I was really fuckin' lost then, if...
"What're you doin' there?" I asked, walkin' on over t'her as I tried t'remember why I'd been so brassed off at Percy recently and where the hell I'd been tryin' t'go... of course, once I leaned over the counter and saw the cleavage Harm had on display, I chuckled a bit.
"You look fuckin' hot today, pet," I grinned, wagglin' my eyebrows until I remembered I was a ghost. Huh. "Hey... you think if I get mad, like really mad enough, that I'll be able t'shag you? Only have t'have one part of me corporeal t'do it, after all."
It was a thought.
Then I saw Angel lookin' at Harm out of his office and glared back at her.
"Alright, fess up now. What the hell is goin' on between you and Angel? You realize its... uh... sexual discrimination, or harassment, or somesuch like that." Yeah! And I wasn't goin' t'stand 'round and watch a poor, defenseless, sexy, fuckin' hot piece of ass like Harm take any of that!
"Want me t'take care of him for you?"
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"Getting a new desk!!!" I looked up at Spike, excited to share. "Angel totally agrees that that this one is too small." My hands moved through the air, wildly gesturing just how much space my new present would take up. "Isn't that awesome?"
"You look fuckin' hot today, pet."
I studied my keyboard for a minute, then clicked on the button I was pretty sure would make the whole invoice thingy print. Then Angel could sign it and that would be that. Yay me!
"Gee Spikey," I grinned at the sound of the printer doing its thing. "Thanks! It's nice to know that extra time this morning got noticed. It's not that I am late because I want to be. I mean, I do, but that is cause I only want to look my best for everyone. Ya know?"
"Hey... you think if I get mad, like really mad enough, that I'll be able t'shag you? Only have t'have one part of me corporeal t'do it, after all."
Huh. That was nice and all, but that was different from all the other times how? Cuase then it was mad at the world and only thinking with one thing. Not that I complained, becuase even that was -- Well....
But still, Spikey had seemed sort of bummed and lonely lately. I started to reach out and pat his hand, before I remembered I couldn't. "There there," I murmered. "I am sure Fred will figure out how to fix you soon!"
"Alright, fess up now. What the hell is goin' on between you and Angel? You realize its... uh... sexual discrimination, or harassment, or somesuch like that."
Wait a minute. Now I am confused.
"How is a new desk discrimination? He said he wanted to make work a pleasurable place. People considering my 'pleasures is not a bad thing!"
I was finally starting to fit in, and it was bad???
"Want me t'take care of him for you?"
"No!!!"
What I wanted was my new desk.
And possibley that skirt from Bloomies.
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Noddin', I looked at her desk. Huh. It did seem a tad bit on the smallish size, what with all the work the poor bint had t'do 'round here. Especially fetchin' and cleanin' for Gramps. Wasn't right. My eyes kept driftin' toward her tits, though...
"Gee Spikey. Thanks! It's nice to know that extra time this morning got noticed. It's not that I am late because I want to be. I mean, I do, but that is cause I only want to look my best for everyone. Ya know?"
"Uh-huh," I replied, lickin' my lips as I tried not t'grin at her. She was bein' awful cooperative today. Muct be all that otter blood - which, might I add, I was fuckin' missin' out on on account of this whole ghost-like business?
"There there. I am sure Fred will figure out how to fix you soon!"
Gave her my best pout. "Yeah, that's what she says only we haven't been able t'do much 'bout anythin'. Hellmouth and all that rot." I sighed and glared at Angel's office, watchin' him welcome some brat. Great. Just what we needed. A CEO flirtin' with an employee and then goin' off t'chat up some kid t'pass the time. "You sure I can't do anythin' 'bout him?"
"How is a new desk discrimination? He said he wanted to make work a pleasurable place. People considering my 'pleasures' is not a bad thing!"
I held up my hands in mock-defense. "Hey now, luv... wasn't tryin' t'upset you none, only wanted t'make sure he wasn't takin' advantage of you..." Which, I just decided, he was. So's it didn't matter none that Harm thought things were fine since she was not exactly the brightest of vamps.
It was my sworn duty t'protect her.
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Dictate -- cool word huh? I learned it on the job. Angel liked to dictate. And now Spike was saying he might 'like' me too? Angel I mean? My eyes went back to the office window, then back to Blondie Bear. It relly was mean of me to tell him what to do.
"Ok," I smiled softly. "You can look if you want. It's ok."
"Yeah, that's what she says only we haven't been able t'do much 'bout anythin'. Hellmouth and all that rot."
I reached out to pat his hand again. Poor thing. "I know, this Hellmouthy thing does really have everyone all freaked out huh? I am all -- worried about them?"
Ok, even I was suprised my that last part. I was worried? About, EVERYONE? That was like, a lot.
"You sure I can't do anythin' 'bout him?"
"Yes," I said firmly. "He is buying me a new desk remember?" And if that didn't make sense, I didn't know what did.
"Hey now, luv... wasn't tryin' t'upset you none, only wanted t'make sure he wasn't takin' advantage of you..."
Since I just had my breakfast blood, I was actually able to work up a pretty good flush. Course, the Bobbi Brown blush helped.
"Ya know, just cause you got tired of taking advantage of me, doesn't mean somebody else might not want to!"
I pulled a face, voice dropping.
"You don't think there should be advantage being taken?"
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I smiled at Harm, noddin' my thanks t'her. "Didn't have t'give permission, pet. If you didn't want me lookin' on account of Angel bein' the boss or what-not, I'd understand. Well, alright, not understand, but..."
FUCK! What the hell was I sayin' anyways?
"Ya know, just cause you got tired of taking advantage of me, doesn't mean somebody else might not want to!"
"Hey now," I protested, "I never said I was tired of takin' advantage of you. Only that it's somewhat difficult now in my present circumstances, is all." Besides, I knew I could take advantage of Harm in a much better way than Angel could. Hell, even she'd have t'agree t'that!
"You don't think there should be advantage being taken?"
"Not by him!" I practically screamed. "Ponce has no right! Wouldn't know how t'treat you proper-like! You," I added, "should file a report. Complain t'Vamp Resources or some-such." Noddin' since I wasn't sure there was such a department like that, I thought 'bout it for awhile.
After 'bout five minutes of thinkin', I went back t'chattin' up Harm.
"You could sue him!" Yeah! I could start this! I could get Harm t'sue Angel and Miss L t'sue Percy! It'd be perfect! And I'd have Gunn teach me all I needed t'know 'bout bein' a lawyer and I'd represent the poor birds and...
"What was I talkin' 'bout?"
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I just watched Spike being all bouncey and stuff before he stopped and I could finally grin.
"Blondie Bear," I teased. "Like, did you just say that Angel is the boss of you? Cause that is what it totally sounded like!
This job really did rock.
"Hey now...I never said I was tired of takin' advantage of you. Only that it's somewhat difficult now in my present circumstances, is all."
"Not present Spike," I came down a bit. "Past. You do remember our past right," I said harshly, before my own voice sort of bounced back at me, and I heard how mean I sounded. "You were totally allowed to end things, I can respect that and all. But did you have to do it with a stake? And here, when I was human, I thought someone breaking up with your machine hurt."
"Not by him! Ponce has no right! Wouldn't know how t'treat you proper-like! You should file a report. Complain t'Vamp Resources or some-such."
"Because Angel is buying me a desk?"
I was confused again I think. Or maybe that was Spike.
Well -- SOMEBODY was!
"You could sue him!"
"Spikey," I repeated firmly. "He is already giving me his money. Like -- freely."
Normally I had to at LEAST make out with whoever it was in the back of a car. Or their parents bedroom. Or -- wherever.
"What was I talkin' 'bout?"
"Ummmmmm. I'm not really sure?"
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"What?" I scoffed. "No!" Had I? Did I? Well, it didn't matter none since Harm was completely daft. I thought. Maybe?
"Spikey. He is already giving me his money. Like -- freely."
Right then. Wait, no. Didn't make sense still. And I was bound and determined t'get t'the bottom of this mystery.
After all, that was what we blokes did 'round here, right?
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