Just Helpin' Out...

[big_pile_o_dust]

"I meant with him being an important member of the team, and Angel's right hand man, of course." "Of course," I replied back at her with a smirk on my face and an idea in my head. Seemed t'me that Miss L was actin' like a skittish kitten 'round the subject of Percy. Huh. And here I thought there might've been somethin' with her and Eve

Comments

[prodigalwatcher]

Lilah's response to my challenge was as unexpected as her entrance and behaviour had been since she'd come to the office-- she pulled me again to her, with a surprising strength and attacked my mouth with hers again. Almost as if I were witnessing it from outside, I was aware of my body responding to hers, lips parting, pulling, tongue moving, hands clutching. But there was no control invovled, only reaction.

She shuddered, and not in the manner my sense memory associated with pleasurable reactions. All but ignoring the moment, the almost violent kiss carried on for a moment or two longer before I found myself back in control of my senses. I pushed Lilah away finally and took a staggering step back.

Reaction took over for a heartbeat. Only a heartbeat, but enough to swing back my right hand, letting the muscles snap forward, open hand cracking across Lilah's cheek with a sharp slap that seemed to echo through the entire office.

"What... what in the fucking hell do you think you're doing?" I raged.

Lilah stared back at me, confusion reigning on her face, the way anger had to have been all over my own expression.

Taking a few more steps, slightly less shaking than before, I moved behind my desk. Breath ragged and hot, I forced myself to try to calm, and spoke through clenched teeth.

"Get out of my office," I rasped. A few more deep breaths, and the words were more even, more controlled. "Go, and this never happened."

And by God, I promised myself, if she told Fred or had the information passed to her, I would not be responsible for my actions against Lilah.

[da_lilah]

You'd think that after having experienced it once, I'd be prepared for Spike playing another body-snatching prank on me. But I wasn't. Not even close.

I'd stepped back from Wesley's door, allowing Eve to finally depart (she'd given me her customary annoyingly perky smirk), and was still weighing up whether I should bother Wes right now, when Spike had slipped closer and whispered in in my ear.

"Nah. Let's go pay him a visit now, luv,"

Before I could react, there was that weird sound again, and then nothing but inky blackness.

Until... I felt hands clutching at, and roaming over my body, and my own form pressing up against someone. Someone whose feel, scent and taste I knew very intimately. I didn't need to open my eyes to know who it was who held me. Our mouths were hungrily meeting in a clash of lips and tongue, and even though I was surprised and more than a little angry with Spike, I also felt an electric thrill course through me at the thought that Wesley was actually kissing me back.

It was over a few moments later though. Wesley shoved me back roughly, and I found myself backed into the side of his desk. Then he hauled back and slapped me hard across the face.

"What... what in the fucking hell do you think you're doing?"

The entire left side of my face was on fire from the sharp blow, and I stared back at him in shock and confusion. In all the times I'd been with Wesley, when we'd fought and tussled with each other, I couldn't recall a time that he'd ever hit me like this. Really hit me. Wesley's face was dark with anger, and he moved to stand behind his desk, clearly still in a rage.

"Get out of my office. Go, and this never happened."

My hand had came up instinctively to cover my face, and unbidden tears had started in my eyes at the violence of the moment, but now I blinked them back and slowly dropped my hand to my side. Let him see what he'd done.

What was the point in explaining that Spike had forced us into this situation? It was obvious that Wesley didn't want to hear, he was too busy condemning me for something he'd participated in far too willingly from what I could tell. I walked around to the front of his desk, and faced him squarely.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? To erase the past. To pretend that there was never once anything between us. Pretend you never fell from grace, and into my lap." I spat at him bitterly, "You think you can just excise that sordid part of your life out so you that you can be squeaky clean for Miss Labcoat?" I leaned onto the front of the desk, and gestured to where he'd slapped me. "Well, gee, this part of my face here kinda thinks you haven't changed that much at all. You're still the same Wesley under that shiny new well-shaven veneer. You still know how to cut deep, and how to make it hurt. Your father would be damn proud."

My body was shaking, and I was fighting to keep my composure, not give him the satisfaction of knowing how upset I was. I gave him the most glacial expression I could muster, and spoke to him in a tone laden with icy contempt.

"You can't hide the darkness within you, Wesley. It's a part of who you are. It will always be a part of you. But I guess you'd rather stay in denial and hit women when they remind you of that fact."

With that parting shot, I turned around and walked out of his office on unsteady legs, but with my head held high. The son of a bitch wasn't going to see me break down like some little school girl who'd just lost her crush.

I strode down the corridor, and down the stairs trying to look like I had somewhere important to be, passing Eve and Harmony who seemed to be acting all cosy with each other. I kept on walking. All I wanted to do right now was curl myself into a ball somewhere and cry. But Lilah Morgan never cried.

Especially not over Wesley Wyndam Pryce.

Never over Wesley Wyndam Pryce.

[prodigalwatcher]

I was still shaking, the anger a living, vibrating thing that had taken root in my chest and would not be removed. There was something disconcerting about how furious I felt, though I couldn't spare a thought for it at that moment.

"You'd like that wouldn't you? To erase the past. To pretend that there was never once anything between us. Pretend you never fell from grace, and into my lap. You think you can just excise that sordid part of your life out so you that you can be squeaky clean for Miss Labcoat?"

"Don't you dare..." the words hissed out between clenched teeth.

"Well, gee, this part of my face here kinda thinks you haven't changed that much at all. You're still the same Wesley under that shiny new well-shaven veneer. You still know how to cut deep, and how to make it hurt. Your father would be damn proud."

The words at last pierced the red curtain of anger and struck me as hard a blow as I'd ever recieved physically. I took two steps back, staggered by the implication, but the precisely measured attack that only Lilah could have scored against me. The shock also pushed my conscious mind into turning. Something was wrong.

"You can't hide the darkness within you, Wesley. It's a part of who you are. It will always be a part of you. But I guess you'd rather stay in denial and hit women when they remind you of that fact."

Lilah swept out of the office, with a dignity and ramrod-straight posture that would fool everyone who saw her. Everyone but me. I'd hurt her viciously, and the physical pain was the least of that hurt. I looked down at my hand, and grasped the wrist to stop it from shaking further.

What in God's name had I done here? I hated Lilah, and yes, if I could scour the history of the world of the fact that we'd been together, I would... but striking her physically? It should have been anaethema to my very deepest personality. It shouldn't have happened.

And yet, it did.

Something was wrong.