I had picked Riley and what turnd out to be Buffy's little sister, Dawn up, and there were still questions that I had, but I couldn't help but thinking, what do we do now
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Riley's friend, Graham seemed pretty nice... up until he offered to drop me off and go off on their own, just like Giles, Buffy and Spike had done. I didn't really appreciate that. Was that the impression I gave everyone? Just little Dawnie... Buffy's little sister who can't take care of herself? Who can't go anywhere because she'll get hurt... or- or worse?
We were all humans living in a world filled with things that went bump in the night. Everyone and anyone who wasn't already dead or who wasn’t a slayer could get hurt.
I crossed my arms and pouted a bit, then rolled my eyes. I hoped Riley would say something, I mean, what... they were going to leave me a lone? Like I would stay put after everyone ditched me like that.
Okay so I did agree with what Riley had said before, about Buffy worrying, about cutting her some slack. But just because I understood didn't mean I was gonna listen. And not after being excluded like that. I could help. I really could, but no one really gave me a chance to do it.
"Umm... maybe that's not a good idea," I said. "The going after Darla part," They were both looking at me, but I knew I was right. I mean, even I knew that, going after two vampires... and especially Darla, wasn’t a good idea. Basic Sunnydale education 101.
"Look, I'm from Sunnydale, remember? And umm- unless you're in it for the thrill, going after some vampire as powerful as Darla is only gonna get you guys killed."
This is where Dawn and I didn't agree and I had to sort of side with Graham.
Dawn and I had come to an understanding, and part of that was respecting that Buffy needed her to be safe and that entailed me geting her back to the bed and breakfast, safely, and not going out with Graham just now, even though the offer was tempting.
My quiet time with Dawn, which had been beneficial to my soul, was now gone, not that I could blame Graham for it; he was just grieving over the loss of his friend.
"You are both right, but for now, Graham, I owe it to Buffy to stay with Dawn, to make sure that she is safe, and we will get Darla and make sure that Sam stays dead, now is just not the time for that."
Although, at the moment, with Graham at my side, I didn't want to REALLY do anything else.
Still, Spike and I couldn't find her and he had the whole freaky sense Darla thing going on, so I was thinking that Graham and I would probably get nowhere, while abandoning Dawn and not keeping a promise to Buffy and Giles.
"It was Buffy, Giles and Spike in the other car, Graham, and something is going on. Maybe it has to do with Darla or Sam? But, I know that they want us to keep Dawn safe and hunting Darla aor leaving her at a place with public accomadations, no invite needed isn't doing that."
I didn't know if I could stomach waiting around. One of my best friends was dead.
Riley was being reliable to Buffy, but not doing what he wanted to and while it wasn't my style to be argumentative, he had said two things that gave us other possibilites then just sitting around.
"We could follow Buffy and hostile-seventeen and the other guy and help them out, especially if it was Darla, Ri! You said it yourself, any vampire can go into the bed and breakfast anyway, so there's really no difference in going there or taking some action aainst this....all of this that has happened."
He shot me a glance, and while I wasn't trying to exclude the attractive girl in the backseat, I just didn't know if I could do nothing right now.
My adrenaline was overloaded and sleep or relaxation didn't seem to be an option.
"I don't think that I can sit still right now.....When I found out, found out from a vampire that kept escaping us, I vowed to not rest until I got revenge for Sam.."
I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes, and was making Riley the same way, as I pulled up in front of the bed and breakfast and stopped.
I kinda smiled at Riley. Felt bad that he had to stay in and baby-sit little me just like if I was ten all over again, but I also smiled because I didn't want him going after Darla alone. Even I knew that was a death wish in itself.
Not only that, but his friend Graham also seemed bent on trying to get revenge. Not that I blame them. Not at all but still, Darla was just too dangerous right now, and his wif-... Sam would be too. I wasn’t about to let anyone go anywhere even if I had to act like a brat to do it.
"Well you're just gonna have to Graham," I said to him. He was probably not liking me already, but I didn’t want this guy to go look for vengeance on his own. And if he was than he was going to need a lot of back up in the form of a slayer and a vampire with a soul with the Billy Idol look.
"Look I'm sorry okay? But we're on a hellmouth and she could be drawing her power from it which means she could be that much more powerful than your average human. Although Buffy killed the master easy... well not easy but kinda," I shook my head trying to get my thoughts together.
"The point is, I don't want to see you guys get hurt okay? So just baby-sit me or whatever and lets wait for Buffy, Spike and Giles to get back and then we'll see if you guys can go on your little vengeance trip."
I didn't have to remind myself of just how much Dawn had matured since I had left Sunnydale.
It wasn't like she was some wild child then, and I knew how tough it was to be the slayer's sister, or human boyfriend, but she was acting reasonably and she was right.
I wanted Sam to remain dead and not of the Earth and vengeance on Darla seemed like the most critical thing in the world to me right now, but this wasn't about some macho pissing-contest to see if we could handle the two of them, for as much as I was willing to try it, it would be much easier with Buffy with us, or with Spike with us, or hell, even Angel with us.
"Graham, I appreciate your support and your feelings and I agree with them, but I have to side with the ki..." I almost called her kid, and she wasn't a kid anymore, "I have to side with Dawn on this one. Us going out and getting killed isn't going to help anyone and really, it's kind of stupid. Besides, happy Buffy seems like a good idea for all of us at the moment. There's a bar in here and they actually serve coke, I'm willing to bet..."
I needed to get the Doublemeat Palace taste out of my mouth.
Seeing Riley, or listening and then seeing him back away from anything was a surprise.
He hadn't done that in the Sunnydale iniative days and he was even more of a bulldog, a bloodhound in those jungles, when the demon factions just continued to pop up, and lengthen our mission.
Now, he was taking the sensible way out, and it was surprising. Maybe he had time to adjust to all of this, but personally, I couldn't imagine not wanting to make sure that the vampire Sam was no more, and I couldn't fathom how Riley wasn't the same way right now.
But, I wasn't going to argue.
"Okay, drinks it is, and conversation, but I hope that Buffy and hostile-seventeen return soon, because one way or the other, I'll be patrolling in this night with a gun and a stake."
We walked into the bed and breakfast and towards the bar, Dawn sandwiched in between myself and Riley, who was leading the way.
How was I going to talk to him? How were we going to talk about anything that didn't revolve around tragedy and loss?
Coke... right. I shook my head lightly at that. Riley too saw me as a kid, and, I really couldn't blame him. Maybe it was just what everyone else thought about me. Buffy's little sister. Little old Dawnie, not able to truly take care of herself. I could be twenty six and they would probably still think of me that way, when in reality I was much older than all of them put together, including Spike.
Then I heard Graham talk, at least he had let go of the death-wish, sorta. "Spike," I said a little off handedly. "His name is Spike," He looked at me and I gave him a half, innocent smile. "Hostile-seventeen... it sounds too... too... well hostile and, informal."
If all my Roman friends could see me now, I was walking with two very good looking guys into a bar. They would be so extremely jealous of me, too bad it was just a facade. These two boys saw me as only a little girl, and Riley, well Riley was practically my big brother. Kinda like Xander in a way.
I started walking ahead of them, choosing a nice table for the three of us. Didn't want to look stupid and have the bartender tell me I couldn't sit at the bar because I was seventeen, so I chose the table instead, where I could hang and order my oh so yummy soda while the boy drank... whatever they were gonna drink to drown their sorrows with.
"So..." I said as we all sat down. "What do you guys want to talk about?"
I looked at Graham, kinda seeing if he wanted to drink, and like the old frat days, he seemd to know and sorta shook his head.
I knew that Dawn was here and that this probably wasn't th best of examples, but I didn't plan, for the moment, to go hunt for Darla and Sam tonight and with the topics of conversations that were sure to come up, I needed to be numbed.
I ordered two cokes and then a coke with rum in it and tossed a ten on the bar, carrying the drinks over to our table, noticing that it was only the three of us in here and I was happy that we were far away from the bar.
I placed the drinks in front of them, and mine down, as we both sat on either side of Dawn.
Her question had been what are we going to talk about and I felt bad, like two big guys were guarding over her, keeping her out of the night, but the topics of conversation weren't likely to be ones that would make me comfortable, so I said nothing, as I sat down and sipped my drink.
The sipping was probably likely to become swigging at some point. Very soon.
I knew that I antd to find out more from Riley about what happned, but was embarrassed to bring it up.
I also noticed that his drink was slightly lighter then ours, as he was planning on gettin drunk, which was disappointing to me, because that meant that he had no desire to patrol tonight, even if Buffy was around, and that was exactly what I wanted to do, as I hid my anger over Sam's death, sipping my drink.
I was anxious to meet his sister, too, but I didn't want to bring her up, either.
I looked at Dawn, Buffy's younger sister, thinking of something to say that wasn't about Buffy, but awkwardly, I really didn't know what to say.
I took another sip of my drink, reverting to my shy self, in spite of my desire to get vengeance.
Okay... well, no one was really saying anything, so I guess it was up to me to say something, anything that would break the silence that had fallen on us.
I really felt bad for Riley. I wanted to say so much, and yet I could say nothing at all. I had to admit, I knew exactly what he was going through, what he was feeling. Had gone through it twice before. Luckily enough, the second time wasn't so permanent.
I wanted to reach out and make him feel better. I wanted to do something, anything, but I couldn't. I would kill Darla myself if it made a world of difference for him, but since I wasn't a slayer or anyone with any real strength, I just fantasized about the whole thing and pretended I could kill her for him.
I sank into my chair and watched as Riley drank like a fish out of water. At that rate he was bound to get drunk within the next thirty minutes. But I wasn't gonna say anything. Maybe that is what he needed to... feel better?
I turned my attention on Graham, who for a guy his age, seemed to be a little too shy.
"So Graham, how long have you been here? In Napa I mean."
I was making everybody uncomfortable and that was the last thing that I wanted.
Sure, I was in pain, but that pain wasn't going to go away anytime soon, I had bacardi and coke to keep me somewhat even and the last thin that I wanted to do was make everyone else uncomfortable.
Which was exactly what I was doing. Graha hadn't said anything and Dawn was so uncomfortable now, that she asked the question of how long he had been here, which was totally just her trying to say something.
"Guys, if you feel the need to bring up unpleasant things, then do it. It isn't going to make her any more undead if you do and who knows? Maybe it will help me to talk about it with somebody who isn't Spike?"
I tok another sip and looked at both of them with my serious face.
I was about to answer her, in some way that wasn't sort of reflective of why I had come here, because I wanted to avoid any topics that involved Sam, or Ri's sister, Connie, because not only would it make him uncomfortable....it had to...but it would also make me uncomfortable, but then, Riley came out and said for us to talk about it.
Suddenly, the coke cupped in my left hand, residue of condesnation on my hands, rolling away from my palms and towards my wrists, wasn't strong enough.
I finished the coke, walked up to the bar and asked for a coke with rum in it and almost asked for two, but I didn't think Buffy would like Ri and I getting her young sister hammered.
I paid for the drink and returned to the table. There was going to be quite a bit of walking to the bar.
"I came here yesterday, well, early this morning, technically, to see Riley, Sam and his little sister, Dawn."
Riley looked at me, and didn't have a tearful look.
He did have a look of relief. I wasn't into psychology like he was, but I was thinking that this would be therapeutic for both of us.
So... I guess both soldier boys had drinking with a minor in the agenda. I could blame them though, and I was not about to say anything to them. Although, the thought did cross my mind of how I would get each of them in a room if they got really drunk. Not like I was Buffy with the super strength and carry them from point A to point B.
Anyway, they both seemed okay with the hard talk, and I guess if they were okay, than I was okay with it too. Not like I wanted to talk about being the key and Buffy dying all over again. I mean I could, but people usually just got confused about the whole, ancient energy deal and being made out of Buffy that I just didn't offer that sort of information unless I was asked.
"Well, that's... good." I said and sipped on my coke again. "A lot seems to have happened since then." I looked at Riley and he gave no inclination of being uncomfortable with the conversation, Graham on the other hand, seemed to be a little on the not so comfortable side. Which was understandable?
"She was a real nice girl... erm... woman, Riley. You know, the first time I met her, I pretended not to like her, didn't want to make Buffy feel weird you know? But she was just so... so... what's the word I'm looking for... well, she was just so cool. Could kick ass and just had this way about her that..."
I stopped. Was I talking too much? Was I being miss babble? Were they even comfortable with this much talk of someone who could possibly be dead... or umm, undead. "Uh, sorry guys, I tend to run off with my mouth sometimes... do the babble thing."
I sipped on my coke again and tried to hide my embarrassed face and tried to think of something else to say, anything... just anything.
"So Graham... do you have a girlfriend?" Way to go Dawn. Talk about your embarrassing moments. How could I ask something like that at a time like this? They probably thought I was this big dork. Yep. Probably so.
We were all humans living in a world filled with things that went bump in the night. Everyone and anyone who wasn't already dead or who wasn’t a slayer could get hurt.
I crossed my arms and pouted a bit, then rolled my eyes. I hoped Riley would say something, I mean, what... they were going to leave me a lone? Like I would stay put after everyone ditched me like that.
Okay so I did agree with what Riley had said before, about Buffy worrying, about cutting her some slack. But just because I understood didn't mean I was gonna listen. And not after being excluded like that. I could help. I really could, but no one really gave me a chance to do it.
"Umm... maybe that's not a good idea," I said. "The going after Darla part," They were both looking at me, but I knew I was right. I mean, even I knew that, going after two vampires... and especially Darla, wasn’t a good idea. Basic Sunnydale education 101.
"Look, I'm from Sunnydale, remember? And umm- unless you're in it for the thrill, going after some vampire as powerful as Darla is only gonna get you guys killed."
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Dawn and I had come to an understanding, and part of that was respecting that Buffy needed her to be safe and that entailed me geting her back to the bed and breakfast, safely, and not going out with Graham just now, even though the offer was tempting.
My quiet time with Dawn, which had been beneficial to my soul, was now gone, not that I could blame Graham for it; he was just grieving over the loss of his friend.
"You are both right, but for now, Graham, I owe it to Buffy to stay with Dawn, to make sure that she is safe, and we will get Darla and make sure that Sam stays dead, now is just not the time for that."
Although, at the moment, with Graham at my side, I didn't want to REALLY do anything else.
Still, Spike and I couldn't find her and he had the whole freaky sense Darla thing going on, so I was thinking that Graham and I would probably get nowhere, while abandoning Dawn and not keeping a promise to Buffy and Giles.
"It was Buffy, Giles and Spike in the other car, Graham, and something is going on. Maybe it has to do with Darla or Sam? But, I know that they want us to keep Dawn safe and hunting Darla aor leaving her at a place with public accomadations, no invite needed isn't doing that."
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Riley was being reliable to Buffy, but not doing what he wanted to and while it wasn't my style to be argumentative, he had said two things that gave us other possibilites then just sitting around.
"We could follow Buffy and hostile-seventeen and the other guy and help them out, especially if it was Darla, Ri! You said it yourself, any vampire can go into the bed and breakfast anyway, so there's really no difference in going there or taking some action aainst this....all of this that has happened."
He shot me a glance, and while I wasn't trying to exclude the attractive girl in the backseat, I just didn't know if I could do nothing right now.
My adrenaline was overloaded and sleep or relaxation didn't seem to be an option.
"I don't think that I can sit still right now.....When I found out, found out from a vampire that kept escaping us, I vowed to not rest until I got revenge for Sam.."
I tried to keep the tears out of my eyes, and was making Riley the same way, as I pulled up in front of the bed and breakfast and stopped.
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Not only that, but his friend Graham also seemed bent on trying to get revenge. Not that I blame them. Not at all but still, Darla was just too dangerous right now, and his wif-... Sam would be too. I wasn’t about to let anyone go anywhere even if I had to act like a brat to do it.
"Well you're just gonna have to Graham," I said to him. He was probably not liking me already, but I didn’t want this guy to go look for vengeance on his own. And if he was than he was going to need a lot of back up in the form of a slayer and a vampire with a soul with the Billy Idol look.
"Look I'm sorry okay? But we're on a hellmouth and she could be drawing her power from it which means she could be that much more powerful than your average human. Although Buffy killed the master easy... well not easy but kinda," I shook my head trying to get my thoughts together.
"The point is, I don't want to see you guys get hurt okay? So just baby-sit me or whatever and lets wait for Buffy, Spike and Giles to get back and then we'll see if you guys can go on your little vengeance trip."
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It wasn't like she was some wild child then, and I knew how tough it was to be the slayer's sister, or human boyfriend, but she was acting reasonably and she was right.
I wanted Sam to remain dead and not of the Earth and vengeance on Darla seemed like the most critical thing in the world to me right now, but this wasn't about some macho pissing-contest to see if we could handle the two of them, for as much as I was willing to try it, it would be much easier with Buffy with us, or with Spike with us, or hell, even Angel with us.
"Graham, I appreciate your support and your feelings and I agree with them, but I have to side with the ki..." I almost called her kid, and she wasn't a kid anymore, "I have to side with Dawn on this one. Us going out and getting killed isn't going to help anyone and really, it's kind of stupid. Besides, happy Buffy seems like a good idea for all of us at the moment. There's a bar in here and they actually serve coke, I'm willing to bet..."
I needed to get the Doublemeat Palace taste out of my mouth.
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He hadn't done that in the Sunnydale iniative days and he was even more of a bulldog, a bloodhound in those jungles, when the demon factions just continued to pop up, and lengthen our mission.
Now, he was taking the sensible way out, and it was surprising. Maybe he had time to adjust to all of this, but personally, I couldn't imagine not wanting to make sure that the vampire Sam was no more, and I couldn't fathom how Riley wasn't the same way right now.
But, I wasn't going to argue.
"Okay, drinks it is, and conversation, but I hope that Buffy and hostile-seventeen return soon, because one way or the other, I'll be patrolling in this night with a gun and a stake."
We walked into the bed and breakfast and towards the bar, Dawn sandwiched in between myself and Riley, who was leading the way.
How was I going to talk to him? How were we going to talk about anything that didn't revolve around tragedy and loss?
Maybe it was exactly what Riley needed?
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Then I heard Graham talk, at least he had let go of the death-wish, sorta. "Spike," I said a little off handedly. "His name is Spike," He looked at me and I gave him a half, innocent smile. "Hostile-seventeen... it sounds too... too... well hostile and, informal."
If all my Roman friends could see me now, I was walking with two very good looking guys into a bar. They would be so extremely jealous of me, too bad it was just a facade. These two boys saw me as only a little girl, and Riley, well Riley was practically my big brother. Kinda like Xander in a way.
I started walking ahead of them, choosing a nice table for the three of us. Didn't want to look stupid and have the bartender tell me I couldn't sit at the bar because I was seventeen, so I chose the table instead, where I could hang and order my oh so yummy soda while the boy drank... whatever they were gonna drink to drown their sorrows with.
"So..." I said as we all sat down. "What do you guys want to talk about?"
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I knew that Dawn was here and that this probably wasn't th best of examples, but I didn't plan, for the moment, to go hunt for Darla and Sam tonight and with the topics of conversations that were sure to come up, I needed to be numbed.
I ordered two cokes and then a coke with rum in it and tossed a ten on the bar, carrying the drinks over to our table, noticing that it was only the three of us in here and I was happy that we were far away from the bar.
I placed the drinks in front of them, and mine down, as we both sat on either side of Dawn.
Her question had been what are we going to talk about and I felt bad, like two big guys were guarding over her, keeping her out of the night, but the topics of conversation weren't likely to be ones that would make me comfortable, so I said nothing, as I sat down and sipped my drink.
The sipping was probably likely to become swigging at some point. Very soon.
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I also noticed that his drink was slightly lighter then ours, as he was planning on gettin drunk, which was disappointing to me, because that meant that he had no desire to patrol tonight, even if Buffy was around, and that was exactly what I wanted to do, as I hid my anger over Sam's death, sipping my drink.
I was anxious to meet his sister, too, but I didn't want to bring her up, either.
I looked at Dawn, Buffy's younger sister, thinking of something to say that wasn't about Buffy, but awkwardly, I really didn't know what to say.
I took another sip of my drink, reverting to my shy self, in spite of my desire to get vengeance.
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I really felt bad for Riley. I wanted to say so much, and yet I could say nothing at all. I had to admit, I knew exactly what he was going through, what he was feeling. Had gone through it twice before. Luckily enough, the second time wasn't so permanent.
I wanted to reach out and make him feel better. I wanted to do something, anything, but I couldn't. I would kill Darla myself if it made a world of difference for him, but since I wasn't a slayer or anyone with any real strength, I just fantasized about the whole thing and pretended I could kill her for him.
I sank into my chair and watched as Riley drank like a fish out of water. At that rate he was bound to get drunk within the next thirty minutes. But I wasn't gonna say anything. Maybe that is what he needed to... feel better?
I turned my attention on Graham, who for a guy his age, seemed to be a little too shy.
"So Graham, how long have you been here? In Napa I mean."
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Sure, I was in pain, but that pain wasn't going to go away anytime soon, I had bacardi and coke to keep me somewhat even and the last thin that I wanted to do was make everyone else uncomfortable.
Which was exactly what I was doing. Graha hadn't said anything and Dawn was so uncomfortable now, that she asked the question of how long he had been here, which was totally just her trying to say something.
"Guys, if you feel the need to bring up unpleasant things, then do it. It isn't going to make her any more undead if you do and who knows? Maybe it will help me to talk about it with somebody who isn't Spike?"
I tok another sip and looked at both of them with my serious face.
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Suddenly, the coke cupped in my left hand, residue of condesnation on my hands, rolling away from my palms and towards my wrists, wasn't strong enough.
I finished the coke, walked up to the bar and asked for a coke with rum in it and almost asked for two, but I didn't think Buffy would like Ri and I getting her young sister hammered.
I paid for the drink and returned to the table. There was going to be quite a bit of walking to the bar.
"I came here yesterday, well, early this morning, technically, to see Riley, Sam and his little sister, Dawn."
Riley looked at me, and didn't have a tearful look.
He did have a look of relief. I wasn't into psychology like he was, but I was thinking that this would be therapeutic for both of us.
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Anyway, they both seemed okay with the hard talk, and I guess if they were okay, than I was okay with it too. Not like I wanted to talk about being the key and Buffy dying all over again. I mean I could, but people usually just got confused about the whole, ancient energy deal and being made out of Buffy that I just didn't offer that sort of information unless I was asked.
"Well, that's... good." I said and sipped on my coke again. "A lot seems to have happened since then." I looked at Riley and he gave no inclination of being uncomfortable with the conversation, Graham on the other hand, seemed to be a little on the not so comfortable side. Which was understandable?
"She was a real nice girl... erm... woman, Riley. You know, the first time I met her, I pretended not to like her, didn't want to make Buffy feel weird you know? But she was just so... so... what's the word I'm looking for... well, she was just so cool. Could kick ass and just had this way about her that..."
I stopped. Was I talking too much? Was I being miss babble? Were they even comfortable with this much talk of someone who could possibly be dead... or umm, undead. "Uh, sorry guys, I tend to run off with my mouth sometimes... do the babble thing."
I sipped on my coke again and tried to hide my embarrassed face and tried to think of something else to say, anything... just anything.
"So Graham... do you have a girlfriend?" Way to go Dawn. Talk about your embarrassing moments. How could I ask something like that at a time like this? They probably thought I was this big dork. Yep. Probably so.
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