Pull out my chrome nine and type for a long time

[hellicallmylife]

Everything Kim said in her live journal was true its not just her side or one sided or anything, its the truth.. i was an asshole, i was a dick.. the one thing she did forget to mention was that i called things off every day in 5th hour giving her more and more stress.. i was being a dick because i couldnt handle it, i couldnt stand the pressure from the wait to florida, for those of you who dont know me and kim were in love at one point.. believe it or not i loved this girl to death i would have done anything for her.. we made plans for the future and thought we would be together forever we were going to move to florida together, we were going to grow old together, we made promises to eachother and i broke mine i made promises i couldnt keep, kim promised to love me until i gave her a reason not to and i gave her that reason 10 times over.. kims parents found out we had sex and we were banned from eachother, things got worse when we went to homecomming.. i couldnt call, couldnt see eachother, couldnt do anything, only contact we had was in school.. me and kim were still in love tho so we tried to make it till she was 18 and we could move to florida... thats was about 2 years but we thought we could make it, not long after we had problems and it was stressing us both out.. kim started going out more and hanging out with other ppl and yes i became a dick because i felt she never had time for me and i was scared some one would take her away just as i had takin her away from her last b/f i saw the same thing happening, i got scared i started being mean to her to get over her before she found a new man, it didnt work i was just being an asshole and she found a new man when i still wasnt over her, she told me she wanted to see if she was making the right decision about us, i knew that wasnt it though, she already knew we would never work, she knew i wasnt the one and that we couldnt grow old together, she found mike a man that actually made her happy the man that i wasnt, someone that treated her nicely. i was hurt unbelievable bad when i found out that she had a new boy.. i couldnt bear it, i made up the lie that i liked her best friend (sorry SD) i just wanted back at kim, all that did was make her sad probably just cuz it was her best friend. Soon enough they had their title of bf/gf and i was heart broken.. i saw it comming from the very beginning, i still think about her and wonder if she is thinking about me, i still get the urge to call her when i need help, whether its with a math test or because im pissed off about something she was always there for me before but i know she wont be there now, me and kim have had fights before, weve had our problems and weve worked them out.. this time there is no fixing and there is no more us, ive accepted that. I picture kim and mike doing things me and kim did, like doing nothing or going out and having fun or doing the naughty.. i dont want to know what they do or anything about there relationship. I dont want to know anything about mike or her. I have been trying to get some things of mine that kim still has back but ive given up on those, ive kissed them good bye because i know i have to get over kim and i am trying too, but i cant with her still in my life so i forgotten about my items and i will have no classes with her. What i dont know wont hurt me and i would like to keep it that way because the fact remains that i am still in love with kim.
----Thank You Dean for letting me use your LJ even tho you dont know i am and you are sleeping right now. Thanks!
----Jerrad