What is wrong with me?
The title says it all, I don't know what's come over me lately. I feel so intensely suicidal. Like normally I would think about it, plan it, and that would be it. But lately I've actually cut myself, had my stepdad's gun to my head, I'm so close to doing it. And I don't know why.. I just can't take it anymore. Every aspect of who I am disgusts me,
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A feeling too often Ive known.
How does one live with the pain,
or deal with the sorrow?
The fear inside I struggle to contain,
and I dread the thought of tommorow.
My loneliness spreads, thickening;
Her acts committed are sickening.
My solemn candle is flickering,
On a cliff I stand, the water is prikling.
Flowing to the end....then its gone;
shot like a helpless fawn.
Used like a helpless pawn;
On my face the scars shown.
In my heart the throes are sewn;
The fruit i want is not yet taken.
My soul has been foresaken,
I need some one to hear me.
I want my heart to pound;
I want someone to save me.
But the help i found
is lost in another's grasp.
She is my help in another's clasp,
with this feeling in mind.
The heartache is too much to bear;
Till now ive taken away her blindness.
Now too many cracks reside in me;
Too many to give a number.
So now i live day to day with this hunger;
All advise Ive been given.
To the brink of insanity Iam driven;
To who's words should i listen?
My patience is begenning to slip;
these hands keep loosing their grip.
The threads of my spirit are ready to rip;
still they dont just give yet.
Somewhere is an opinion I didnt get;
advice that now i see.
an opinion that begs me.........
live and live free.
But wait for who I want to catch up;
....Sometimes its worth sticking to who you truely want to be with....
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