Smallville slash, (CLex) R eventually: Normal, Part 1, AU, wip
Lex thinks that it should smell like popcorn--heat and corn, right?--but it smells firey and harsh and Lex hurts really bad. Things keep moving wrong and he can't stand up; it's like standing on his father's yacht in a storm, except now he really feels sick. He needs his mom to come save him.
He needs someone to come save him.
He needs someone.
He gets his father, striding out of the still-smoking jungle of stalks, taller and stronger than ever before. His father looks twenty-feet tall and invincible, like a superhero.
His father is holding a little boy.
Lex wants his father to pick him up, but Lionel's arms are full of this kid. He comes close enough for Lex to touch his shoes.
"Lex, Lex, Lex." Lionel shakes his head sadly, as if Lex has brought back another A- in spelling. "You really need to pull yourself together here, son."
It all hurts so bad, and Lex wants to cry, wants to tell his father he's sorry, but it feels like his lungs have seared shut. He tries to reach out, and the shoes move a step away.
Lionel shifts the child in his arms. "Sorry, Lex, but it's time I traded up." The kid waves a little hand and smiles softly over Lionel's shoulder as they disappear back into the smoke and darkness.
Lex screams and screams after them, begging now, saying he's sorry, he's scared, whatever, just to bring them back, but the world stays empty, just him and the smell of burnt pain.
He wakes up still begging.
There's a warm body pressed against his chest; the kid's in his bed again.
Lex pulls his legs up until he can get his feet against the kid's lower back, then kicks. There's a thump when he hits the floor, then a quiet gasp, but no other sound. The kid doesn't cry.
Neither does Lex.
"It's a really stupid name, too." Lex kind of mutters it, but over his shoulder and loud enough to be sure that the kid can hear him. For such a little kid, he's keeping up okay, and Lex turns back towards the kitchen. "My father picked a really stupid, stupid name for you."
The kid stumbles a little, and Lex looks back just in time to see him sit hard. Stupid kid just giggles, patting the stones for a second and then holding out a hand to Lex. Like he really thinks Lex will help him. Lex turns around and walks slowly until he hears the kid scramble up again.
"I mean, he couldn't have picked a much stupider name." Lex wonders if Lao Shan is guarding him today. Lao Shan understands how important names are. Lao Shan was there when the stupid baby got his stupid name. I believe your father anticipates that the child will be...a weapon. Lao Shan was angry about something; Lex could always tell, but he could also tell that Lao Shan wasn't angry at him, so he didn't mind. As long as Lao Shan wasn't angry at Lex, it was all okay. Angry Lao Shan could be...interesting.
"It's a stupid, stupid name for a stupid kid." Kids couldn't be weapons. He doesn't know how he'd gotten back to the castle; he doesn't remember that. But he remembers the way his father looked at the kid, and it makes him so mad. Angry Lex wasn't interesting, not yet, but he'd keep studying with Lao Shan and someday he would be. Until then, he just had to make sure the kid understood the rules.
"My father called me Alexander, because Alexander ruled the whole world. Like I will." He's getting tired, now, and it makes him madder. No fair that he's bald and hurt and tired and the kid's fine, just toddling after him like there's nothing more fun than following someone who hates him.
"But he gave you a stupid name, Poopie Pants. Eats ants, poopie pants, baby Lance." Even though the kid doesn't understand, Lex is ashamed. Don't be childish his father would say, and Lex always wants to say, But I am a child. But that's no excuse.
Hurting again from everything, Lex stumbles a little, and the baby's right there next to him. Watching.
"He couldn't have done much worse for you, you know. Lance is, like, worse than Eugene." The kid smiles at him, eyes wide. "Worse than Cecil, or Nigel, or Seymour, or Clarence, or Clark, or--"
"Cal--" The kid is bouncing up and down, patting his elbow, and Lex wants to push him.
"Nope, you're stuck with Lance. Antsy Lancey."
The kid whines a little. "Kal--al--"
"Nope." This is better than pushing him; the kid's almost crying.
"Kal-al...kalal-kalal-kalal-kal…"
He couldn't even say it right, stupid baby. "Not Cal. Clark. Kuh-lar-kuh." Lex drew it out, making it sound even stupider than Lance.
"Kal-al-k"
"Almost. Ca-lark. Stupid kid."
"Cal-alk" The kid's wriggling now, like he has to make number two, and Lao Shan better be close by because that's not Lex's job.
"Okay, if you want. I mean, even Clark is better than Lance. Not that that's saying much." His mom used to say that. Your daddy loves you most in the world, Lex. Not that that's saying much. And then Lao Shan would take away her glass and get one of the women to help her to bed, and Lex would have to go outside to play.
The kid still looks really urgent, like it's important that he has a slightly less stupid name. Lex feels a little bad. Maybe he should have given him a cooler name. Like...well, something cool.
"Cal-al-al-al, Cal-al, Cal-al," the kid's muttering over and over, patting his elbow with every 'kuh' sound.
Lex feels like he should warn him. "It's not a great name, stupid-head. Better, but not great."
The kid was patting his arm softer now, still making that half-Clark sound, and the kid actually sounded kind of sad. Feeling dumb, Lex grabbed his hand for a second to stop the patting. "It's okay, kid." The big, stupid eyes looked up at him until he added, "It's okay, Clark. You can be Clark if you want."
"Cal-al-kuh."
Lex was going to try to teach the kid to say it right when the world kind of slipped sideways funny for a second. When it got straightened up again, the kid was holding him by the elbow. Lex didn't want the stupid kid to help him, but he probably wasn't anyway. He was too little. It was just easier to walk with the kid to balance on. Stupid kid was looking all worried.
"You just remember who got the cool name, okay Clark? I'm Alexander. People I don't hate too much get to call me Lex."
The kid smiled a little wobbly. "Lek."
"Yeah. Almost."
Another soft pat on his elbow, and Lex leans a little into it, even though he doesn't need to, because he's walking just fine. "Lex," he emphasizes the last sound.
The kid grins. "Le-ku-suh. Cal-al-kuh."
"Clark. Yeah."
He knows he's dreaming this time, because he's floating. He's floating about two feet off the ground, moving away from the stink of burning fields, moving back towards the castle. Pretty fast, too. Pretty cool dream, if it weren't for where he was going.
He's moving along and the world goes out and comes back in and he feels his feet dragging on the ground, and he's lost his shoes, but it doesn’t hurt compared to everything else. The world gets all fuzzy for a while, and when it gets a little clearer, he's lying in front of the castle. Lao Shan is lifting him up, and Lex almost cries at how nice it feels to have someone hold him, and he doesn’t think why he's also almost crying for something he's leaving.
He looks back, and his father is still at the door. Lao Shan shushes him as he tries to reach back, and his father doesn't even glance away from whatever he's kneeling beside at the doorway. Lex feels like something's ripping out of him, the farther Lao Shan carries him towards his room, and he guesses it must be that he needs his father. He tries to call one more time, and he hears something answer, but it's not his father, and it's not loud enough to hold onto as the world fuzzes out again.
He wakes up feeling like he's drifting away from something really important. There's a warm body next to him again, and kid is watching him, eyes wide in the half-dark. The kid's probably waiting to hit the floor again. It's not his father near him, in dreams or real life, but Lex knows enough by now to take what he can get. He pulls the kid back away from the edge of the bed. "Careful, Clark. You'll fall out." The kid pats him again, like he's got this secret ability to communicate through Lex's elbows, then closes his eyes.
Letting the world go soft and dark again, Lex thinks that maybe it's enough for tonight.
Two weeks later and Lex can walk all around the castle without getting tired. Well, he's getting a little tired of Clark. Because when Lex walks all around the castle, so does the kid. Like he's got an extra annoying little shadow.
Two weeks, and the kid's vocabulary has expanded by only one letter--he pretty much always puts the 's' sound on Lex's name now, which is an improvement. But mostly he communicates through a tentative elbow Morse-code.
And only with Lex.
Lex doesn't know if it's kind of cool or just really annoying. Lao Shan talks to the kid, but then waits while Lex repeats everything. Like when Lao Shan teachs Lex to translate, except now they both say it in English. Lao Shan tried Mandarin on the kid, actually. And Helga tried Danish, and Naoko tried Japanese, and Birthe tried German, and Maria tried Spanish, and Armand tried French, and Lionel tried shouting.
The kid only speaks two words--one really--and only listens in Lex.
So Lex gets to be there as Lionel gloats over his new prize. "Lex, tell him to lift that box."
"Lift the box, kid." He's angry by now. His father didn't even ask how he was feeling, didn't even check on the doctor's reports, just went right in with the boxes and the weights again. Every time, the stupid kid hunches in and looks through his hair at Lex. And every time, Lex translates. "Come on, C--kid. Lift the box."
Clark lifts it half-heartedly, and keeps his eyes locked on Lex as Lionel crows, "Very good, Lance. Now the next one."
Nothing. Like the kid only hears on whatever frequency Lex talks. He would test that, if only his father would get over the whole weight-lifting thing.
"Lex, tell Lance to pick up the next one."
"Pick up the next one, Lance."
"Leks?" The kid looks unhappy, and against everything, Lex walks over, leans in close to whisper, "It's okay, Clark. Just do it, okay, and we'll go outside. It's pretty cool--you haven't seen the grounds yet."
Clark smiles at him, pats a quick acknowledgement on his elbow, and lifts the last box. He's very careful when he puts it down, keeping it away from Lex's toes. Lex would be glad about that, except that he can't hear anything but his father.
"Excellent! That's my boy."
And Lex knows his father isn't talking about him.
"He doesn't like you, you know." Lex is walking fast, and the stupid kid is half running to keep up. "You're like a new toy."
Weapon his mind supplies.
"It's not like you're even really his son. You don't have any family. You don't belong here. You don't belong anywhere."
Lex can tell that Lao Shan isn't guarding them today, because Lao Shan wouldn't let him say that. Lao Shan's job is to stop anyone from hurting Lex, and that includes stopping Lex from hurting Lex. And Lex already knows that this hurts both Clark and him. It's like something in his belly is twisted up with meanness. But he can't stop, and he walks faster so maybe Clark won't hear it all. Clark only really seems to understand tone of voice, and Lex doesn't want to look around again and confirm that the kid is crying as he runs after Lex.
"Why don't you just go away, Lance? Why don't you go back where you came from? Maybe someone wants you there." Lex wishes he could walk fast enough that he couldn't hear what he was saying. But he can't outrun himself and, after two weeks of his father's testing, he knows he can't outrun Clark.
He hears a little thump behind him, and when he looks back, Lex sees Clark sitting in the dirt of the track, crying. The kid rubs one grubby fist across his eyes, leaving a smudge through the wet, and Lex feels awful. The thing in his belly untwists and melts away and leaves a big hole in its place.
"Don't." He walks back and squats next to Clark. "Don’t cry. Big boys don't cry."
The only thing big about Clark right now is his eyes; they look like ponds after rain, all watery and overflowing the banks.
"Don't cry. Don't cry, Clark." Patting at Clark's shoulder awkwardly, Lex tries to see if the Morse communication goes two ways. The kid keeps crying. "Don't. You can...if you're going to be my little brother, you're going to learn not to cry. Dad'll teach you." Clark is reacting to the tone of voice now, his hiccupping sobs quieting as he ducks his forehead down to rest on Lex's shoulder.
Lex looks down at the kid, just a baby really, with every excuse to be childish. "Hey, Clark." The kid snuffles and burrows in closer. "I guess if I'm going to be your big brother, I guess...I can try to make sure you don't have to learn too quick, huh?"
The kid's still snotting and crying into his shoulder, and Lex pats him again. "It's okay, Clark. You can cry now if you have to."
But not in front of Dad, okay? Lex doesn't say it, settling instead for patting the kid's back. Like an echo, he feels a hesitant pat on his elbow.
"Yeah, okay, Clark." He sighs as Clark sniffs and sits up. "Okay."
He dreams sometimes that it hurts, and someone reaches down and touches him, and the hurt goes away. It's a gentle touch, like a kiss. Probably his mom.
Sometimes he wishes he could sleep more.
Lionel is obsessively focused on testing his newest acquisition, and he's got charts showing strength and speed, data accumulated over the past months, and Lex doesn't know what to think about how blind his father is.
His father hasn't tested any of the interesting stuff. Just the obvious stuff.
He has no idea that Clark can hear like...like Lex doesn't know what. Like maybe there's nothing like it on earth. Clark can hear things that Lex doesn't even know how they'd measure for the tests. He can hear storms coming, and cells splitting, and electricity moving through wires.
He can hear helicopter and cars from over a mile away. Which is why they're usually away from the house when Lionel arrives.
Lex doesn't know what to think when he realizes that his father doesn't get that. Clark will look up and get up and pull Lex up and out of the castle, and his father arrives with new weights and new treadmills and doesn't ever question why he always has to search for his test subject.
If they weren't so busy taking advantage of this, Lex would wonder.
They're out farther than they've ever gone before. This is partially because Lex is feeling much better now, probably ninety-five percent calibrated to a day without an asthma attack. Of course, they're now all days without asthma attacks, so overall he's at better than a hundred percent. Better than perfect, and it's that kind of day, so he grins down at the kid.
The kid is the other reason they've made it this far. Lex has given up on pretending that holding hands is for Clark's benefit. Even the rockiest trail feels smooth and easy with Clark's help, and Lex is big enough to accept this. "Thanks," he says as they negotiate another pothole, and Clark giggles and swings their hands.
"Leksleksleksleks," he sings, till it all turns into one long sibilant. Clark still only has word to use, but he uses it to tell whole stories. Right now he's telling Lex that he's happy to be away and out and free. Lex has to agree.
The road is really bad here; no one from the castle has any reason to go out to these fields and the small, muddy cliffs over the murky little pond. So Lex is not surprised that the truck has stopped at the top of the hill. Reggie can see them from the hill, and Reggie is lazy enough to stay there until the last possible moment.
The good thing about Reggie is you always know where he is and where you stand. The bad thing is the same thing. Lex misses Lao Shan, even though he's glad to have him on night shift. But Lao Shan would be close enough to talk to even though you couldn't see him. Kind of safe-feeling in a paranoid way. Lex laughs at that thought, and Clark laughs too, just happy to be with Lex and laughing.
It's a good day.
Maybe it's because Lex isn't used to good days that he misses the fact that they don't always stay good. Maybe if he'd had a few more good days in the past, he'd recognize the scary music that should be playing in the background; he'd know that you don't get to stay this happy. But he doesn't, so it comes as a complete surprise when they walk around a big pothole in the road, and Lex starts to slip down the loose dirt of the bank, and this time Clark doesn't stop them.
Lex grunts as he loses his footing and the little hand in his tightens for a second and then it's gone and they're tumbling down the hill, with clods of dirt bouncing beside them and around them. The pothole gives way into a kind of sinkhole, wet from erosion and seepage from the pond, and the walls glisten, wet and green.
It should be dark.
Lex's mind is insisting that they're under an overhang now, and it should be dark but instead it's kind of glowy-green, and look at these neat crystals, and he turns to show Clark and--
Clark.
Lying curled up like a pill-bug, Clark is faintly glowing like the rocks. But the rocks don't make that sick gasping sound, and the rocks don't scare Lex half out of his mind.
"Clark?" He stumbles to his feet and stands over the kid for a second before crouching down. "Clark!" The pulsing light makes his hand shake worse than it should as he reaches down. As if reacting to the touch, Clark stiffens, his eyes rolling back in his head. Lex whimpers at that, frozen. He doesn't know what to do. But at least the gasping moans have stopped.
And then Lex figures out why and he claws his way back up the hill, screaming at the top of his now-healed lungs for Lao Shan, for his father, for his mother, for someone.
Someone needs to help, he needs someone.
It takes Reggie way too long to get out of the truck, and Lex is almost halfway back by the time the bodyguard meets him on the road. Lex tries to explain through terror and confusion, and Reggie lets him talk for about a second before picking him up and slinging him under one arm.
It's like something out of a nightmare; Lex's vision filled with nothing but shrubs and road passing at high speed. And then it gets worse, as Reggie jumps down into the hole and picks Clark up--Clark, who's not moving at all.
Following behind as Reggie carries Clark back towards the car, Lex almost cries when he hears the first coughs. Reggie puts Clark down, and Lex holds the kid against his chest while Reggie goes back to the hole.
"It's okay, Clark. It's okay, you're out now. It's safe," Lex murmurs, and Clark finally stops coughing and just rests his head weakly under Lex's chin. Lex doesn't even notice Reggie's approach until he hears Clark moan again, but softly this time.
"Thought so." The deep voice comes from a few feet away, and Lex doesn't have to look up to know what Reggie is holding. All he has to do is look at Clark, whose skin is again turning green and clammy.
"Guess I better get this thing back to Mr. Luthor. I have the feeling he'll be very interested." There's a thump from the back of the truck, rock hitting plastic-covered metal. "Come on. Get in the truck."
Clark won't move, and Lex can't with Clark holding on so desperately, so in the end Reggie puts them into the front of the truck with hardly more care than he tossed the green crystal into the back. On the way back, over the sound of Clark's breathy groans, Lex hears a voice saying over and over,
"Let's get this thing back..."