another day
I'm back in CA and finally fixed my laptop which has been dead since i went back to NY. I was really freaked out because i hadn't had a chance to back up some recent files (i.e. maroon 5, john mayer) since my portable hard drives/ desktop was in NY. Anyways I think its about time i um burned those files to carrie. I hate alienware and i refuse to buy any of their products in the future.
Its been a really rough in NY with all the drama that kept occurring and i'm really not one for drama esp if it really just involves me. I've been feeling really shitty lately b/c physically i've been really unwell and emotionally i'm also in the rut. a A part of me thinks I should take paxil again but the idea of being reliant on something frightens me which is prob why I don't have a boy and I have a safe distance with friends. which makes me feel sad and lonely which kinds of makes me go back to the idea of paxil. I'm going to HK in a few days which also freaks me out b/c i'm going to feel like an obese whale again. I know i'm not that fat since you can see rib bumps on my stomach but at the same time if i'm not skinny i'm just fat over there and its hard to notice my proportionally smaller waist when all you can see are my boobs.
I don't know. Lately i've been feeling like i'm waiting for something but i'm not sure what. I'm just tired now and i'm emotions are once again down in the drain like it was during christmas. i think i should work out harder so i can get even more endorphins.
Its been a really rough in NY with all the drama that kept occurring and i'm really not one for drama esp if it really just involves me. I've been feeling really shitty lately b/c physically i've been really unwell and emotionally i'm also in the rut. a A part of me thinks I should take paxil again but the idea of being reliant on something frightens me which is prob why I don't have a boy and I have a safe distance with friends. which makes me feel sad and lonely which kinds of makes me go back to the idea of paxil. I'm going to HK in a few days which also freaks me out b/c i'm going to feel like an obese whale again. I know i'm not that fat since you can see rib bumps on my stomach but at the same time if i'm not skinny i'm just fat over there and its hard to notice my proportionally smaller waist when all you can see are my boobs.
I don't know. Lately i've been feeling like i'm waiting for something but i'm not sure what. I'm just tired now and i'm emotions are once again down in the drain like it was during christmas. i think i should work out harder so i can get even more endorphins.