end of the road

[hellcangetus]

I don't have much to do at the office lately. Well its either feast or famine, but ever since Marianne left its been mostly famine. I can't help but think about all the drama I had this summer. I have a new feeling towards my cellphone now. When it rings, I get crazy scared. Partly because I have an obnoxiously loud ringtone, but mostly because I get really scared it's because something went wrong with my grandmother. She seems to be healing okay, its just taking time, but I can't help but feel that she's just a grasp away from leaving me again. Last week she gave me some of her old jewelry. I guess, since this event she knows she's not going to last very long and wanted to pass me some of her things. These items were some of the items that she intended to give me on my wedding day, but I think she believes she won't be able to make it to that event. Looking at my wonderful love life, I don't think she's far off. When she gave me her things, I didn't really feel anything though. I wasn't sad or thankful. while it was precious metals and stones, it felt more like pebbles in my hands. I didn't much care for them, and I feel like I should, but I just don't

My summer isn't all a downer. I met some people and made some new friends, thought I doubt I'd actually keep in great touch with any of them for say 1 or 2. Marianne has been really nice to me and I have some designs i drew into samples. I actually went out to places other than shopping and had new experiences. I had the freedom of living by myself in Hong Kong which proved to be more troublesome than expected since I had no stove to cook on.

I think i'm glad to leave though. I probably wouldn't mind if I had to stay longer, but I think itll be nice to live somewhere were I can communicate in perfect ease