A long over due post.
It has been a while since I have last visited "el jay," and it is for this very reason that I have done so.
LiveJournal has become the red-headed step child of my Myspace. Myspace is where I write all the happy, enjoyable stuff that I know nobody wants to read or hear, because the simple truth is that eveybody loves drama. Everybody wants to know who hates who and who broke up and my "I just had the friggin' best day of my life!" shit just doesn't fit that.
"That's not true!" you say? Just by going back over my posts and looking at the comments you can see people get more involved in Jeremy's shitty days then they do his happy ones. It sucks. And I feel that if this post wasn't going the way it is, it too would fall through the cracks of LiveJournal oblivion.
I am not, in any way, shape, or form, for what can only be explained as human nature. Look at "The Real World." It is not "real" just for the fact that seven people who obviously hate each other would never find themselves in the same house. The only thing making it "reality tv" is the lack of a script, and that's only because if they had one it would be called "Rent" and they would all sing. My point is this: It is in like its 13 season or something like that. Why? Because we like to watch people get pissed and mad. Same reason I quit using LiveJournal and the same reason I may start again.
As of late my life has been hard (hard because I can't thing of a better word and I don't feel like looking one up). I, for the most part, do not have a car. My dad totalled his and instead of bying a new one his great master plan is to "share" mine. And by "share" he means that I am allowed to use it when he doesn't need to. This has taken a dramatic (ooh, there's our favorite LJ word!) affect on my work and personal life. My job, ripe with the recent knowledge that my workdays must be limited to 2:30, has found it appropriate to give me two days a week. Hur-fucking-ray.
But worse than that is the toll it has been taking on my personal life. It's hard to do anything when you don't know if you can get there or when you will have a car or even when they say you will get the car they find it fit to take it away from you anyways. I don't know and it is pissing me off to no end that my life is dictated by my parents once again. Fuck being 19. Might as well be 16 eccept for the fact that they wouldn't be able to kick me out if they wanted.
I love Lauren more than anything. I love spending every second with her. I don't know. My issues seem to disapear when she is around. It's just so great to feel like, no matter what, there will always be that one person to help you along in life. I just love the hell ouf of her.
Now on to more "emo" issues. (We also love "emo" here at LJ, don't we?) Lately I feel as if I don't belong. It is hard to explain. It will be like if I am sitting in a room, I will look around and try and think if any of these people actually want me here. And for the first time in a long time I can't thing that anybody actually does. I don't know. I'm probably over reacting but the feeling keeps coming back. Eh. We'll see what happens.
LiveJournal has become the red-headed step child of my Myspace. Myspace is where I write all the happy, enjoyable stuff that I know nobody wants to read or hear, because the simple truth is that eveybody loves drama. Everybody wants to know who hates who and who broke up and my "I just had the friggin' best day of my life!" shit just doesn't fit that.
"That's not true!" you say? Just by going back over my posts and looking at the comments you can see people get more involved in Jeremy's shitty days then they do his happy ones. It sucks. And I feel that if this post wasn't going the way it is, it too would fall through the cracks of LiveJournal oblivion.
I am not, in any way, shape, or form, for what can only be explained as human nature. Look at "The Real World." It is not "real" just for the fact that seven people who obviously hate each other would never find themselves in the same house. The only thing making it "reality tv" is the lack of a script, and that's only because if they had one it would be called "Rent" and they would all sing. My point is this: It is in like its 13 season or something like that. Why? Because we like to watch people get pissed and mad. Same reason I quit using LiveJournal and the same reason I may start again.
As of late my life has been hard (hard because I can't thing of a better word and I don't feel like looking one up). I, for the most part, do not have a car. My dad totalled his and instead of bying a new one his great master plan is to "share" mine. And by "share" he means that I am allowed to use it when he doesn't need to. This has taken a dramatic (ooh, there's our favorite LJ word!) affect on my work and personal life. My job, ripe with the recent knowledge that my workdays must be limited to 2:30, has found it appropriate to give me two days a week. Hur-fucking-ray.
But worse than that is the toll it has been taking on my personal life. It's hard to do anything when you don't know if you can get there or when you will have a car or even when they say you will get the car they find it fit to take it away from you anyways. I don't know and it is pissing me off to no end that my life is dictated by my parents once again. Fuck being 19. Might as well be 16 eccept for the fact that they wouldn't be able to kick me out if they wanted.
I love Lauren more than anything. I love spending every second with her. I don't know. My issues seem to disapear when she is around. It's just so great to feel like, no matter what, there will always be that one person to help you along in life. I just love the hell ouf of her.
Now on to more "emo" issues. (We also love "emo" here at LJ, don't we?) Lately I feel as if I don't belong. It is hard to explain. It will be like if I am sitting in a room, I will look around and try and think if any of these people actually want me here. And for the first time in a long time I can't thing that anybody actually does. I don't know. I'm probably over reacting but the feeling keeps coming back. Eh. We'll see what happens.