15. The Magic Kingdom
All these stupid rituals. The images we try to put across of ourselves, trying so hard and then complaining when nobody wants to love us for who we are. I laugh out loud to myself thinking of the audacity of it all. I'm enjoying my buzz tonight. I'm riding high on the cherry bomb train.
"You should let me spend the night with you. On your bus. White knight my ass, and all that shit. I'm a willing damsel in distress, lover."
He raises his eyebrows, confused and dismayed, and says, "Oh, wow," as Denny bursts into a fit of mean spirited cackling. Their crew is watching us now, cracking into amused smiles of their own, and oh! Damn these heels, because in the next moment I'm falling against him, my feet fumbling against one another even as I'm trying to stand still. He almost tumbles underneath my momentum except for Denny reaching out to keep him upright. So close to human dominos, we are.
"I don't think that's a good idea," he says apologetically, "You are really drunk".
His cheeks are turning red and he's embarrassed for me and that makes me embarrassed for myself. The mortification cuts through my inebriation like a knife and now I'm noticing all his friends, watching me, laughing at me.
"Well, fuck you too." I say to all of them, whirling around and falling hard on my ass against our bus' giant front tire. I cross my arms over my chest and I put my walls up; I am closed for business.
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