(no subject)
so tomorow is my 18th birthday...and i dont care. everything just seems so insignificant i take so many things for granted...and i no im not going to change just because something so major is happening in my life right now. but ive been so emotionally hurt and depressed lately all i do is go to school track my grandpas and then come home and cry every day im not ready to say goodbye to him and im not ready to realize that my kids will never no what a great and wonderful person he is. im not ready to only have memories..and not have the chance to make new ones. i wish that life didnt throw such good people tradgedies and i dont understand how god can just let this happen to families. i no alot of you no poppy and i havent really been talking about what is going on but i cant just keep everything in anymore. he is the most important person in my life and me and him just have this incredible special relationship, i would never of given up for anything i cant belive that soon i cant hear his voice everyday. and that he more then likely wont get to see me graduate and all ive ever wanted my entire life was for him to dance with me at my wedding and he wont. i didnt no that a person can cry so much in such a short amount of time. sometimes i feel guilty when im with you guys for laughing or smileing. and sometimes i dont want to be here anymore because waking up everyday is just to hard. im sorry if i caught you off gaurd but i just couldnt keep it in any longer.