(no subject)
I'm not doing well.
Losing Bear has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with.
I see my depression
I'm pushing people away
I'm avoiding situations where I have to be around people
I forced myself to go out last night but I had to get extremely drunk to have any resemblance of fun
I'm still crying every day
Sometimes it's about Bear, sometimes it's completely unrelated
Or at least it seems unrelated
I want to die
I don't feel like I have anything to live for
I used to get up in the morning because of Bear and I looked forward to seeing him when I came home
He was everything to me and I don't really know what to do without him
So I'm hiding away
When I'm driving, all I can think about are all the ways I could die
Drive off a bridge, jump off a bridge, run into a tree, hit by a train
I just don't care
What makes it worse is that it seems like no one else cares, either
My coworkers didn't even give me a sympathy card
My dad, who sends flowers for everything, didn't think to send me flowers
People reached out for a day or two, but have stopped, even though I'm obviously not doing ok
Even my therapist can't be bothered to respond to me
I ust want to die
Losing Bear has been the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with.
I see my depression
I'm pushing people away
I'm avoiding situations where I have to be around people
I forced myself to go out last night but I had to get extremely drunk to have any resemblance of fun
I'm still crying every day
Sometimes it's about Bear, sometimes it's completely unrelated
Or at least it seems unrelated
I want to die
I don't feel like I have anything to live for
I used to get up in the morning because of Bear and I looked forward to seeing him when I came home
He was everything to me and I don't really know what to do without him
So I'm hiding away
When I'm driving, all I can think about are all the ways I could die
Drive off a bridge, jump off a bridge, run into a tree, hit by a train
I just don't care
What makes it worse is that it seems like no one else cares, either
My coworkers didn't even give me a sympathy card
My dad, who sends flowers for everything, didn't think to send me flowers
People reached out for a day or two, but have stopped, even though I'm obviously not doing ok
Even my therapist can't be bothered to respond to me
I ust want to die