rules of the metro
upon riding the metro this morning, for the first time in a while, i had forgotten how so many people don't understand how to ride the metro, so here are the rules of the metro:
1. when going up or down the escalator ALWAYS stand to the right and walk to the left, this means if you aren't walking you should be on the right side, if you are so fat or have so much shit that you cannot contain yourself to one side, lose some weight/ stop carrying so much shit and take the elevator, it's there for you. i don't care if you really want to stand next to your friend/ ugly ass ho, you can't, i'm really not sorry.
2. have your money somewhat ready, so that when you go to buy a farecard it doesn't take you forever because you have to dig through your huge ass purse.
3. when the train arrives, i know you're really excited about getting on it, but you have to wait for the other people to get off first and the only way they can get off is if you move. no, not just a couple feet back creating a barracade that no one can get past, you must move back and form a sort of corridor through which people may leave, only after all the people who want to get off the train get off may you get on.
4. ok, ok, i know you're really happy now because you're on the train, but no you may not just stop once you get on the train, you have to move to the center of the train, this allows other people to get on as well. if you just stop you're liable to get your ass kicked, probably by me. so move it fatty.
5. if you are one of the lucky ones to get a seat, be a good person and give it up if someone gets on the train who looks like they need it more than you. chances are you are going to a job where you sit on your ass all day and not to be judgemental, but you could probably do with the standing up. also, if you are sitting down, understand that you only get one seat. so put your shit in your lap, too much shit to put in your lap? then don't sit down. too fat to fit in one seat? you really should stand up.
6. getting off the metro is easy. before your stop, get your stuff together and start moving toward the door, that way you can exit quickly, as opposed to waiting until the last possible moment and causing a lot of chaos. and yes you do want to exit quickly, otherwise all those people waiting to get on the train will get smashed by the doors. so get off already!
7. when leaving and going through the gates remember you don't have to wait for the gate to close completely before you put your farecard through, trust me it will be ok. if you wait i'll put my foot up your ass.
it's really not hard. just some common sense. so stop being a self-centered idiot and making my life so stressful.
i wish jared could have taken me to work today, i would be in a much better mood.
now i am just at the honors office alone, as always...
1. when going up or down the escalator ALWAYS stand to the right and walk to the left, this means if you aren't walking you should be on the right side, if you are so fat or have so much shit that you cannot contain yourself to one side, lose some weight/ stop carrying so much shit and take the elevator, it's there for you. i don't care if you really want to stand next to your friend/ ugly ass ho, you can't, i'm really not sorry.
2. have your money somewhat ready, so that when you go to buy a farecard it doesn't take you forever because you have to dig through your huge ass purse.
3. when the train arrives, i know you're really excited about getting on it, but you have to wait for the other people to get off first and the only way they can get off is if you move. no, not just a couple feet back creating a barracade that no one can get past, you must move back and form a sort of corridor through which people may leave, only after all the people who want to get off the train get off may you get on.
4. ok, ok, i know you're really happy now because you're on the train, but no you may not just stop once you get on the train, you have to move to the center of the train, this allows other people to get on as well. if you just stop you're liable to get your ass kicked, probably by me. so move it fatty.
5. if you are one of the lucky ones to get a seat, be a good person and give it up if someone gets on the train who looks like they need it more than you. chances are you are going to a job where you sit on your ass all day and not to be judgemental, but you could probably do with the standing up. also, if you are sitting down, understand that you only get one seat. so put your shit in your lap, too much shit to put in your lap? then don't sit down. too fat to fit in one seat? you really should stand up.
6. getting off the metro is easy. before your stop, get your stuff together and start moving toward the door, that way you can exit quickly, as opposed to waiting until the last possible moment and causing a lot of chaos. and yes you do want to exit quickly, otherwise all those people waiting to get on the train will get smashed by the doors. so get off already!
7. when leaving and going through the gates remember you don't have to wait for the gate to close completely before you put your farecard through, trust me it will be ok. if you wait i'll put my foot up your ass.
it's really not hard. just some common sense. so stop being a self-centered idiot and making my life so stressful.
i wish jared could have taken me to work today, i would be in a much better mood.
now i am just at the honors office alone, as always...