Everyone gone?

May 01, 2005 19:58

I took out the bitch senator Brucker and all of her vamp helpers, and I knew I was in trouble, but I was filled with energy, because I had to get to the others, and hoped that they were alright ( Read more... )

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loaded_gunn May 4 2005, 12:41:31 UTC
I tried not to make my mind think about what I was gonna do now. For now, I just had to push it forward, ignore all of the dead bodies and get to the hospital and pray to god that somebody there could help me.

I had given up a lot in the past and had been willin' to give it all up, but I neva expected it to happen like this.

I neva expected to make it through this great battle alone. Why me? Was goin' through my head, and it wouldn't stop. I didn't deserve to live if the other's hadn't.

Spike, Illyria, they were dead. Cordelia had paid the ultimate price for workin with us. Wes was gone. Angel wouldn't be gettin' his shanshu, and Fred. Fred's loss wasn't so abd, considerin' that less then two months later, she probably would have died anyway.

But what if she hadn't died? What if we wouldn't have let her get in on this suicidal plan?

Maybe I would still have her, and I had ruined that. I had to get my upgrade that didn't mean a damn now. I had to sign for that customs delivery.

I fell to the ground, surrounded by bodies, wailin', my hands comin' to my face. I was sure that I was goin' to die right here, right now.

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loaded_gunn May 4 2005, 12:45:07 UTC
The bodies of the dead were smellin' and I found it interestin' that no cops were anywhere.

Maybe, they were all dead, killed tryin' to fight the horde of demons. Or maybe they were at the sites of other body farms all over the road.

I got up, tears spillin' down my face, knowin' that I could make it to the hospital and live. I was strong. I could make it. I just didn't know if I wanted to.

I had let down everyone that I cared about. Alanna, Rondell, Cordy, Fred, Illyria, Spike, Angel. I couldn't be a good person. There was nothin' left for me to fight for, but I thought about it as I saw the hospital on the corner.

Maybe there were some people here for me to fight for. I wasn't willin' to fight for myself.

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loaded_gunn May 4 2005, 12:47:55 UTC
I pushed my way in through the door and thank god, there were people alive in here. Both workers and victims. So, the demons hadn't killed everyone. Maybe there numbers had been decreased? Maybe the 5 0 had been able to get some shots on, makin' it possible for some people that weren't heroes to survive this all.

I couldn't help but think that all of the pain, all of the death, all of this goin' on in LA right now was our fault, and I was now the one here to take the blame for it.

I wanted to sink to my feet again, as I saw a nurse comin' towards me, but I didn't need to, as I saw all black anyway and fell to the floor.

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