My Husband The Gamer
Okay, look.
In any relationship, there are bound to be things you don't like about the other person. Maybe they hog all the blankets. Maybe they eat too many onions with garlic and stink like a sewer. Or maybe it's 2011, nerds are out and proud, and your boyfriend plays video games.
Mine sure as hell does.
My boyfriend of five years, now my husband, is a gamer of the highest order. He owns all of the most recent generation of gaming consoles and an extensive library of games - some of which he hasn't yet opened - for each one. He travels cross country - without me, by the way - to attend conventions. He spends hours each day gaming, sometimes well after I've fallen asleep, with breaks to come tell me about how he assassinated someone on the streets of Rome or earned the latest Achievement in his XBox Live Arcade. And, honestly, I usually have to fake interest. Because basically, I don't give a shit about video games.
But here's what I'll never do: I'll never insult my husband for doing what he loves. I'll never call him childish or stupid or imply that he's in some way inferior to me. Not only do I not believe these things, but I know that every time you say something like that, you poison your own relationship. And that's not something you can blame on gaming. That's on you.
Here's the thing - if you don't want to be in a serious relationship with a gamer, that's okay. Totally understandable. Gamers aren't without their issues. They're in the grip of an expensive, potentially addictive hobby that, despite all efforts and protests to the contrary, is basically a one-person experience. For all the talk about multi-player gaming or how fun it is to watch someone else play, any real gamer knows that the heart of the experience is sill in single-player games that may require upwards of 60 hours of play time to complete. So if that's not who you want as a life partner, there's nothing wrong with that.
But you know who your partner is. You know the person you're with. You can't customize him like an RPG hero to suit your tastes. If you're dating a gamer, that's the relationship you're in, and if you don't like it, the only other choice is to get out.
In my experience, gamers are actually pretty great people. They're creative, introspective, highly logical, and have a great sense of fun. These are all qualities I personally value - even if I do hate video games - so for me, a gamer is a great person to have around. But I'd never have found that out if it hadn't been for my husband, if I hadn't allowed him to be the amazing person he is and allowed myself to love him for it.
So no, I won't be disabling his game systems, stealing his power cords, or tossing his possessions out the window. And before you do, I'd take a good hard look at who you're calling immature.
(in response to http://www.newyorkmoves.com/summer2011/magazine%20pages/pngs/original061.jpg)
In any relationship, there are bound to be things you don't like about the other person. Maybe they hog all the blankets. Maybe they eat too many onions with garlic and stink like a sewer. Or maybe it's 2011, nerds are out and proud, and your boyfriend plays video games.
Mine sure as hell does.
My boyfriend of five years, now my husband, is a gamer of the highest order. He owns all of the most recent generation of gaming consoles and an extensive library of games - some of which he hasn't yet opened - for each one. He travels cross country - without me, by the way - to attend conventions. He spends hours each day gaming, sometimes well after I've fallen asleep, with breaks to come tell me about how he assassinated someone on the streets of Rome or earned the latest Achievement in his XBox Live Arcade. And, honestly, I usually have to fake interest. Because basically, I don't give a shit about video games.
But here's what I'll never do: I'll never insult my husband for doing what he loves. I'll never call him childish or stupid or imply that he's in some way inferior to me. Not only do I not believe these things, but I know that every time you say something like that, you poison your own relationship. And that's not something you can blame on gaming. That's on you.
Here's the thing - if you don't want to be in a serious relationship with a gamer, that's okay. Totally understandable. Gamers aren't without their issues. They're in the grip of an expensive, potentially addictive hobby that, despite all efforts and protests to the contrary, is basically a one-person experience. For all the talk about multi-player gaming or how fun it is to watch someone else play, any real gamer knows that the heart of the experience is sill in single-player games that may require upwards of 60 hours of play time to complete. So if that's not who you want as a life partner, there's nothing wrong with that.
But you know who your partner is. You know the person you're with. You can't customize him like an RPG hero to suit your tastes. If you're dating a gamer, that's the relationship you're in, and if you don't like it, the only other choice is to get out.
In my experience, gamers are actually pretty great people. They're creative, introspective, highly logical, and have a great sense of fun. These are all qualities I personally value - even if I do hate video games - so for me, a gamer is a great person to have around. But I'd never have found that out if it hadn't been for my husband, if I hadn't allowed him to be the amazing person he is and allowed myself to love him for it.
So no, I won't be disabling his game systems, stealing his power cords, or tossing his possessions out the window. And before you do, I'd take a good hard look at who you're calling immature.
(in response to http://www.newyorkmoves.com/summer2011/magazine%20pages/pngs/original061.jpg)
