engineers 'r' farnie
>Understanding Engineers - Take One
> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus
when
>one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw
>it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
>
> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is
>half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers.
>
> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting
>for fifteen minutes!"
>
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>golf!"
>
> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
with
>him."
>
> He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
>They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>
> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
>fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year,
>so we always let them play for free anytime."
>
> The group fell silent for a moment.
>
> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for
>them tonight."
>
> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist
>colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>
> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
>
> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build
targets.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it
cost?"
>
> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features yet.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
him
>and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>
> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into
>a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>
> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned
>it to the pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>
> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into
>his pocket.
>
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
>anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
> Two engineering students were walking across a university campus
when
>one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
>
> The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday,
>minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike,
threw
>it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you
want."
>
> The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the
>clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Two
>
> To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the
glass is
>half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to
be.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Three
>
> A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
>particularly slow group of golfers.
>
> The engineer fumed, "What's with those blokes? We must have been
waiting
>for fifteen minutes!"
>
> The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept
>golf!"
>
> The priest said, "Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word
with
>him."
>
> He said, "Hello, George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us?
>They're rather slow, aren't they?"
>
> The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind fire
>fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year,
>so we always let them play for free anytime."
>
> The group fell silent for a moment.
>
> The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for
>them tonight."
>
> The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my
ophthalmologist
>colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
>
> The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Four
>
> What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil
engineers?
>
> Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build
targets.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Five
>
> The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
>
> The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it
cost?"
>
> The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with
that?"
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Six
>
> Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
>
> Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough
>features yet.
>
> Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
>
> An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to
him
>and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."
>
> He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
>
> The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back
into
>a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
>
> The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and
returned
>it to the pocket.
>
> The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a
>Princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
>
> Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back
into
>his pocket.
>
> Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a
>beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for one week and do
>anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
>
> The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
>girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."