(no subject)
Since I'm sitting here putting off life, I thought I would write about it.
Today was the last day of classes. I've been completely caught off-guard as I didn't see the end arriving so quickly. And while today wasn't very intense or routine, I still found myself being sentimental at certain times. Today meant the close of more than just classes, it's a sign that soon I need to go through another maturation and growing phase. But I guess in looking back, this whole year has been that way. It's affected me and become a part of my life more than so many things before it. The hardest point of today was the end of my religion seminar. Lately I've been thinking how perhaps I am really meant for this. I actually felt terrible that my seminar was ending; it was the one course this entire semester that I never dreaded or once didn't want to be in class. And so at the end, it was enough to contol myself despite moving away from one of the most amazing classes I have ever taken and one of the most brilliant professors I have encountered.
I'm not quite sure how I will feel in the next couple of days. My final exams and papers don't really scare me, but the never ending process of leaving people behind. It has become a coming-of-age moment. High school is sentimental for a lot of people because it means growing apart and separating yourself from a lot of friends, but I feel that college is much worse. It's not only leaving people and moving away, but it's leaving people who are a more intimate part of your life and watching them enter a completely different realm - a realm apart from education, apart from delusion, apart from subconsciousness. I am constantly trying to keep everything intact when I know that a lot of it will fall away and crumble.
So I'll just sit here and continue to think. There is so much to contemplate that I'm not sure if I even know where to begin.
Today was the last day of classes. I've been completely caught off-guard as I didn't see the end arriving so quickly. And while today wasn't very intense or routine, I still found myself being sentimental at certain times. Today meant the close of more than just classes, it's a sign that soon I need to go through another maturation and growing phase. But I guess in looking back, this whole year has been that way. It's affected me and become a part of my life more than so many things before it. The hardest point of today was the end of my religion seminar. Lately I've been thinking how perhaps I am really meant for this. I actually felt terrible that my seminar was ending; it was the one course this entire semester that I never dreaded or once didn't want to be in class. And so at the end, it was enough to contol myself despite moving away from one of the most amazing classes I have ever taken and one of the most brilliant professors I have encountered.
I'm not quite sure how I will feel in the next couple of days. My final exams and papers don't really scare me, but the never ending process of leaving people behind. It has become a coming-of-age moment. High school is sentimental for a lot of people because it means growing apart and separating yourself from a lot of friends, but I feel that college is much worse. It's not only leaving people and moving away, but it's leaving people who are a more intimate part of your life and watching them enter a completely different realm - a realm apart from education, apart from delusion, apart from subconsciousness. I am constantly trying to keep everything intact when I know that a lot of it will fall away and crumble.
So I'll just sit here and continue to think. There is so much to contemplate that I'm not sure if I even know where to begin.