maybe we are at this crazy age.. where we don't know anything. my friend has sex with her boss once a week.. and crys to me (literly).. asking.. Why doesn't he like me? Why am I not good enough? Why does he have sex with me but not want to date me? She is stuck in that sick.. manipulated world that she can't get out of. I listen and think the same. Why does sex not mean we made up? If he dislikes me so much.. Why does he even have sex with me once a week or week and a half or.. every 2 weeks? Why won't he just go away? Why when i got so excited when we had sex and asked if we made up did he say.. no. and not care that i cried myself to sleep after? Why cant she forget jeff? Why cant I forget Rene? Why do I cry daily and become this nervous nervous depressed person? teeth chatter. Why can't I get over him? make it go away? and and adn i think im currently having a nervous breakdown. yeaaaa make it stop? I think I overdosed on diet pills by mistale. i took the max dose allowed and now my teeth are chattering and im tripping omg omg I just wana be someone else. cant make the upsetnes go away
Dear Natalie, I am happy to be a friend and a safe place for you to post, but I am not a counselor and feel ill equipped to provide any real good advice for the emotional issues that you are going through. From your website, I found out that you live in Irvington, NJ. So, I would like to encourage you to call a psychologist friend of mine who you can talk to and treat with. Her name is Karen Sciaraffa, and she has a PHD in psychology. Her telephone number is (908) 624-1977. Her office is close to Irvington. It’s located at 1021 Stuyvesant Ave in Union, NJ. Hopefully tonight I'll have time to provide you with my own personal experiences on how I got through difficult times, but you can call Dr. Sciaraffa today if you like. I know her to be a great person to talk to and someone who is a genuine good-hearted person.
I just left her a message and told her that a Natalie would be giving her a call tomorrow. Dr. Sciaraffa is very accessable, so you just call her up and tell her that you are having lots of emotional issues and would like to know if she's available for you to come in. If she's on your insurance plan, then its just a matter of setting up an appointment. I have always found her to be a very easy person to talk to. If you can communicate with me, then you can communicate with her. It will be easy. :)
She's expecting a call from you. The worst thing that could happen is that she won't take your insurance. Its no big deal if that happens. She won't get upset with you. Don't be afraid. Remember the quote that I gave you a couple of weeks ago that "fear is a mind killer."
She didn't answer. Omgomgomg nobodt cares if I live or die. I havn't slept in days and I'm major suicidal. Tried to hang myself last night but hurt so bad I chickend out after the 3 torturous seconds. So if I call her and she don't answer.. Is that a sign? I havn't eaten in days. Head hurts. I have nobody to talk to. Nobody picks up their phone. I drank sooooo much yesterday my eyes swelled up Thought that thined your blood? I slit my wrists about 30 times and like hardly bleed. Nobdoy I invited came yesterday. I invited like 11 people. That's sad? So around 7 after even the missionaries didn't stay for me.. (Now that's a shame) I ran to my car with a personal bottle of liqoe and cried in the back seat and hid from the party of 40. So... Who's gona help me before I can't help myself? Cause I got this sick thing where every 5 mins I change my mind. Yea. That's dumb No, kill yousrself nobody cares No.. Don't be sstupid.. Hey why isn't anyone calling? Ha! Cause nobody cares.. He's with her.. Kimberly s at work.. Letitia.. Who knows where she is. My inter-web is down.. Typing this through my cell. Ugh I know I'm prob making you a nervous wreck. I'm sorry... My mother just tells me to grow the fuck up and get out of her face. Father.. Ugh he broke my hand at the age of 12.. Mother gave me my own apartment at the age of 15.. Maybe that's why I'm so lonely and sad.. Always living alone. Brotheer has kids and wife.. Feel like I bother them Other brother said he's gona blow his head off this weekend... I hate me I change my hair the color the cut Got piercings.. Lost 20lbs.. I changed my attitude and belifs and religions and thoughts and ideas so much I lost myself I don't have anything else to change And I still hate me And why is he with her And why does he not care about me? Am I just that terrible? Why didn't anyone I invited come? I cried and cried from 3-6 Then from 7pm-1am Then from like 4-8 and then like on and off.
Mannnnnn. I'm having some psychotic breakdown omgomgomg Where is everyone? Why doesn't anyone care?
Dear Natalie, your last post was very distressing. As you write that you have attempted suicide, I advise you to immediately contact one of the Essex County Crisis Center Hotline numbers.
Essex County Crisis Center Hotlines (1) East Orange General Hospital 300 Central Avenue East Orange, NJ 07019 HOTLINE: 973-266-4478 or (973) 672-9685 (2) Newark Beth Israel Medical Center CMHC 201 Lyons Avenue Newark, NJ 07112 HOTLINE: 973-926-7444 (3) University Behavioral Health Care 183 So. Bergen Street Newark, NJ 07101 HOTLINE: 973-623-2323
I wish I was qualified to answer. But I am not and cannot advise you at all. The only thing that I can say is that everytime I get a message from a psychologist/psychiatrist their voice messages say that if this is an emergency, then go to an emergency room at a nearby hospital. You can try that.
I wish I could say something, anything, that would make it all better for you, but that is not impossible. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
my friend has sex with her boss once a week.. and crys to me (literly).. asking.. Why doesn't he like me? Why am I not good enough? Why does he have sex with me but not want to date me? She is stuck in that sick.. manipulated world that she can't get out of.
I listen and think the same. Why does sex not mean we made up? If he dislikes me so much.. Why does he even have sex with me once a week or week and a half or.. every 2 weeks? Why won't he just go away? Why when i got so excited when we had sex and asked if we made up did he say.. no. and not care that i cried myself to sleep after?
Why cant she forget jeff? Why cant I forget Rene? Why do I cry daily and become this nervous nervous depressed person? teeth chatter. Why can't I get over him? make it go away? and and adn i think im currently having a nervous breakdown. yeaaaa make it stop? I think I overdosed on diet pills by mistale. i took the max dose allowed and now my teeth are chattering and im tripping omg omg
I just wana be someone else. cant make the upsetnes go away
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So if I call her and she don't answer.. Is that a sign?
I havn't eaten in days.
Head hurts.
I have nobody to talk to.
Nobody picks up their phone.
I drank sooooo much yesterday my eyes swelled up
Thought that thined your blood?
I slit my wrists about 30 times and like hardly bleed.
Nobdoy I invited came yesterday. I invited like 11 people.
That's sad?
So around 7 after even the missionaries didn't stay for me.. (Now that's a shame) I ran to my car with a personal bottle of liqoe and cried in the back seat and hid from the party of 40.
So...
Who's gona help me before I can't help myself? Cause I got this sick thing where every 5 mins I change my mind.
Yea. That's dumb
No, kill yousrself nobody cares
No.. Don't be sstupid..
Hey why isn't anyone calling? Ha! Cause nobody cares..
He's with her..
Kimberly s at work..
Letitia.. Who knows where she is.
My inter-web is down.. Typing this through my cell.
Ugh
I know I'm prob making you a nervous wreck.
I'm sorry...
My mother just tells me to grow the fuck up and get out of her face.
Father.. Ugh he broke my hand at the age of 12.. Mother gave me my own apartment at the age of 15..
Maybe that's why I'm so lonely and sad..
Always living alone.
Brotheer has kids and wife..
Feel like I bother them
Other brother said he's gona blow his head off this weekend...
I hate me
I change my hair the color the cut
Got piercings.. Lost 20lbs..
I changed my attitude and belifs and religions and thoughts and ideas so much I lost myself
I don't have anything else to change
And I still hate me
And why is he with her
And why does he not care about me?
Am I just that terrible?
Why didn't anyone I invited come?
I cried and cried from 3-6
Then from 7pm-1am
Then from like 4-8 and then like on and off.
Mannnnnn.
I'm having some psychotic breakdown omgomgomg
Where is everyone? Why doesn't anyone care?
Reply
Essex County Crisis Center Hotlines
(1) East Orange General Hospital
300 Central Avenue
East Orange, NJ 07019
HOTLINE: 973-266-4478 or (973) 672-9685
(2) Newark Beth Israel Medical Center CMHC
201 Lyons Avenue
Newark, NJ 07112
HOTLINE: 973-926-7444
(3) University Behavioral Health Care
183 So. Bergen Street
Newark, NJ 07101
HOTLINE: 973-623-2323
Reply
I called.
Didn't help much.
Made me pannic and feel ill though.
:[
They said goto therapy on monday.
So.. What do I do until monday?
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I wish I could say something, anything, that would make it all better for you, but that is not impossible. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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That's sad isn't it?
How certain people are worth more than others.
And others could be left to crumble, die, and disapear.
This is too much trouble.... effort I don't really have anymore.
Misurable for 2.5 months.
Maybe it's a sign.
I'm doomed to be misurable.
Bleh.
Thanks though.
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