1798 - "He's dead Jim."
We went down the hill, I got a couple of email addresses to email in order to get myself on the list for a garden plot at the Lower Lonsdale gardens. These are the ONLY gardens in the city that don't do a straight first-some-first-served waiting list for plots which means that it's the only one I have a chance of getting into in the next five years
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I really hope you are able to reclaim that feeling of you-ness, outside of a relationship or otherwise. I wish there was a secret to make this easier.
I am struggling with a variation on that theme right now. I have been so sick the past year that a huge part of my identity was sucked away by inability, but it feels like the rest got sacrificed to helping Fiona through her massive mental breakdown. I would spend so much time agonizing about her unhappiness that I pretty much ignored mine until it grew out of control... of course, a certain degree of unhappiness is expected when one is in blinding pain 24/7, but I was always the exception to that rule. Now that Fiona is feeling better and working again, I'm finding a void where I used to have an 'inner life', as it were. Sometimes when I'm home alone I pace around the apartment trying to remember what I used to do for fun.
All that to say... I am trying to reclaim some of my pre-relationship self, also. It is hard and weird. The end.
:)
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