Stuff that has happened
So I finally got a job interview up in Saratoga Springs, NY at Babbage's (which is just Game Stop) and the interview went really well and I told Willy that I was pretty sure I had the job. I was pretty excited because it meant I'd finally be moving and I'd finally get a chance to be with Willy again.
Then Willy told me that he needed to talk about things, which I took to mean something about the rent or possibly the situation with his mom being allergic to the rabbits. When we finally got a chance to talk on Sunday, he broke up with me.
He said he didn't feel the same way about me as he used to. He said the distance was tearing us apart and that he was afraid he'd never get those feelings back for me. He said he didn't want me to move in and him realize that it wasn't what he wanted because than I would have to quit my job and move back home and get my old job back.
The thing I don't understand is if he had his doubts, why did he push me so hard to move up there in the first place? Why, if he felt us drifting apart, didn't he take every chance to make us feel like we were still together? In past 6+ months, I've been the one making all the phone calls, I've been the one initiating ims, I've been the one making all the effort. And on top of that, I work 40 hours a week WHILE looking for a job in a different state 4 hours away.
So yeah we drifted apart - we drifted apart because instead of just dealing with the pain that goes along with a long-distance relationship, he spent the better part of his time pretending he wasn't in a relationship, occupying his mind with anything else he could possibly think of besides me so that he wouldn't have to miss me as much.
Meanwhile, every time I'd call to talk he was either busy watching tv, or had friends coming over, or had homework, or some other reason which made sense at the time, but looking back at all the times he couldn't talk, now they all just seem like excuses.
The thing that really kills me is that WE'VE LIVED TOGETHER BEFORE!!! This wasn't going to be a new thing for us except that we wouldn't have roommates. I don't know why he freaked out this time around.
He's the first person I ever really loved and I thought he loved me back. I have no idea what he's thinking because I haven't had any contact with him since then. I was really mad when he told me so I told him I didn't want to talk anymore and that was the last thing I said to him.
I wish I had stayed on the line a bit longer. I wish I knew how he was feeling. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
As much as I know he didn't put enough into the relationship, and as much as I've been hurt by him in this way, and even though I already had to turn down the job that I KNEW I'd get and told my current boss that I'm not leaving after all, if he called me right now and took it all back...
I'd go back to him.
Then Willy told me that he needed to talk about things, which I took to mean something about the rent or possibly the situation with his mom being allergic to the rabbits. When we finally got a chance to talk on Sunday, he broke up with me.
He said he didn't feel the same way about me as he used to. He said the distance was tearing us apart and that he was afraid he'd never get those feelings back for me. He said he didn't want me to move in and him realize that it wasn't what he wanted because than I would have to quit my job and move back home and get my old job back.
The thing I don't understand is if he had his doubts, why did he push me so hard to move up there in the first place? Why, if he felt us drifting apart, didn't he take every chance to make us feel like we were still together? In past 6+ months, I've been the one making all the phone calls, I've been the one initiating ims, I've been the one making all the effort. And on top of that, I work 40 hours a week WHILE looking for a job in a different state 4 hours away.
So yeah we drifted apart - we drifted apart because instead of just dealing with the pain that goes along with a long-distance relationship, he spent the better part of his time pretending he wasn't in a relationship, occupying his mind with anything else he could possibly think of besides me so that he wouldn't have to miss me as much.
Meanwhile, every time I'd call to talk he was either busy watching tv, or had friends coming over, or had homework, or some other reason which made sense at the time, but looking back at all the times he couldn't talk, now they all just seem like excuses.
The thing that really kills me is that WE'VE LIVED TOGETHER BEFORE!!! This wasn't going to be a new thing for us except that we wouldn't have roommates. I don't know why he freaked out this time around.
He's the first person I ever really loved and I thought he loved me back. I have no idea what he's thinking because I haven't had any contact with him since then. I was really mad when he told me so I told him I didn't want to talk anymore and that was the last thing I said to him.
I wish I had stayed on the line a bit longer. I wish I knew how he was feeling. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
As much as I know he didn't put enough into the relationship, and as much as I've been hurt by him in this way, and even though I already had to turn down the job that I KNEW I'd get and told my current boss that I'm not leaving after all, if he called me right now and took it all back...
I'd go back to him.