The funeral
I was so pleased to be there. And so very pleased to be able to take my parents there too; if I hadn't been able to go, they would have made it there anyway on the bus, but it would have meant setting off early, a long journey both ways and the necessity of a taxi from the bus station to the cemetery and back again. In the car we did it in 45 minutes there, and 35 minutes home again.
There were a couple of firsts for me today. I've never been to a funeral service in a crematorium/cemetery chapel before. And I have never been to a graveside and watched the coffin being lowered into the ground before either. I've been lucky enough so far in my life that I can count the funerals I have been to on the fingers of one hand.
It was a lovely, simple service. Beautiful classical music (chosen by the family I believe) was playing both for the walk into the chapel behind the coffin, and for following the coffin out of the chapel afterwards. Two of his children (both older than me by a few years) read poems - 'Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep', and 'Jenny Kissed Me' (very apt as Uncle C's partner's name is Jenny). We sang The Lord Is My Shepherd, and The Day Thou Gavest, and the minister gave a short eulogy which pretty much summed him up - he mentioned him being a 'larger than life' personality, talked about the medical work he did abroad and all the lives he had touched as a consequence, mentioned his love of music, of photography and of building boats and sailing them, and basically painted an eloquent word picture of the C we all knew and loved. :-)
I cried all the way through. I felt rather self conscious really, though I was being as discreet mopping up as I could, because I appeared to be crying more than anyone else at all, and thought 'what right do I have to be weeping like this when his close family are managing to hold it together?'. But I know they will be grieving terribly, and I do get dreadfully emotional at such occasions, so I went with it and tried not to worry too much.
The coffin seemed, as always in these circumstances, impossibly small for such a large personality. After everything was over, we talked to his children, who I haven't seen at all since they were teenagers and I was about nine - I barely remember them though I have heard all about them over the years. Mum mentioned to his son D that she had to chuckle when the minister mentioned boats, because for several years there had been two of his boats more or less abandoned on our drive - and D said 'oh, he had them on your drive as well, did he?' LOL
After it was all over, Mum, Dad and I went to Sainsbury's just down the road and had a sandwich and a drink in the Starbucks there. I had a very chocolately hot chocolate, with whipped cream on the top, and it was most comforting.
I am very glad I was there, and though I feel completely drained and exhausted now, it was good to say goodbye to him in that way.
In other news, while we were out one of the windows in the car fell down into the door and we couldn't get it back up again. As the car has been a bit peculiar for a little while now, Tim took it round to the garage after tea, where it will sit safely until Thursday morning when they can have a look at it. Better than it sitting on our road with a gaping hole above one of the back doors! I just hope it will be back for Saturday morning so I can take myself and nicolap to Doncaster for Catriona's Gather!
I'm horribly nervous about this Gather because I haven't Gathered for absolutely ages and I feel completely out of practice *wibbles*
There were a couple of firsts for me today. I've never been to a funeral service in a crematorium/cemetery chapel before. And I have never been to a graveside and watched the coffin being lowered into the ground before either. I've been lucky enough so far in my life that I can count the funerals I have been to on the fingers of one hand.
It was a lovely, simple service. Beautiful classical music (chosen by the family I believe) was playing both for the walk into the chapel behind the coffin, and for following the coffin out of the chapel afterwards. Two of his children (both older than me by a few years) read poems - 'Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep', and 'Jenny Kissed Me' (very apt as Uncle C's partner's name is Jenny). We sang The Lord Is My Shepherd, and The Day Thou Gavest, and the minister gave a short eulogy which pretty much summed him up - he mentioned him being a 'larger than life' personality, talked about the medical work he did abroad and all the lives he had touched as a consequence, mentioned his love of music, of photography and of building boats and sailing them, and basically painted an eloquent word picture of the C we all knew and loved. :-)
I cried all the way through. I felt rather self conscious really, though I was being as discreet mopping up as I could, because I appeared to be crying more than anyone else at all, and thought 'what right do I have to be weeping like this when his close family are managing to hold it together?'. But I know they will be grieving terribly, and I do get dreadfully emotional at such occasions, so I went with it and tried not to worry too much.
The coffin seemed, as always in these circumstances, impossibly small for such a large personality. After everything was over, we talked to his children, who I haven't seen at all since they were teenagers and I was about nine - I barely remember them though I have heard all about them over the years. Mum mentioned to his son D that she had to chuckle when the minister mentioned boats, because for several years there had been two of his boats more or less abandoned on our drive - and D said 'oh, he had them on your drive as well, did he?' LOL
After it was all over, Mum, Dad and I went to Sainsbury's just down the road and had a sandwich and a drink in the Starbucks there. I had a very chocolately hot chocolate, with whipped cream on the top, and it was most comforting.
I am very glad I was there, and though I feel completely drained and exhausted now, it was good to say goodbye to him in that way.
In other news, while we were out one of the windows in the car fell down into the door and we couldn't get it back up again. As the car has been a bit peculiar for a little while now, Tim took it round to the garage after tea, where it will sit safely until Thursday morning when they can have a look at it. Better than it sitting on our road with a gaping hole above one of the back doors! I just hope it will be back for Saturday morning so I can take myself and nicolap to Doncaster for Catriona's Gather!
I'm horribly nervous about this Gather because I haven't Gathered for absolutely ages and I feel completely out of practice *wibbles*