making relationships
the biggest news for today is that i'm supposed to be going to see the nobel prize winning poet tony morrison tonight, where he'll read some of his work. i say supposed to because although i've paid my £6 for my ticket, i have not been told where i'm meeting this group i'm supposed to be going with. blast it all. i'll be quite sad if i don't get to go.
other news: i'm finally making actual plans for travel. next weekend, i'm going to ireland to visit beth hood, weekend after that i'll be going to edinburgh to eat at zimblemans and hang out, and the weekend after THAT, i'll go to oxford and hang out with that girl emily who i met the very first day of this trip. i'll try to get out of the country, but it may prove difficult. i really want to see spain, italy, and france, but i'd be satisfied with just seeing other british things.
yesterday i shopped. i know, weird. and, although i did buy mostly books and cds (five of each, although the books were for my nephew), i even looked at clothes. i tried on a dress that cost £222, which is like $330 or so. prettiest dress i've ever tried on in my life. velvet. mauve. there was a shawl. the lady who worked there took a picture of me in it for me. man, i'm not one to lust over clothing, but i wish i had a good excuse to buy that. i'd wear it a lot to make it worth it. i'd wear it to church, to do laundry, to shovel the sidewalk.
ok, now for the bulk of what i have to say:) don't you love how long and not to the point my emails are?:) anyway, i've mentioned this girl jenn who i'm friends with here, right? she's american, from pennsylvania. i think i may be getting more of a cultural experience from her than from the brits, because she's totally lived this life that is crazy. lots of drugs, lived with a guy or two, works with teenage boys who are in a group home because they have really serious issues (some of hers were recently sent to prison for life because they beat a guy who was a coworker of jenn's head in). her stories are just amazing.
but anyway, jenn and i have been getting into some really good conversation lately. she's kind of hinted a lot before that she has this faith, but it's in a weird place right now. she's been going to private catholic schools since preschool. and it's funny, cause i don't think she knows anything about christianity outside of catholocism. she'll reference things that are pretty exclusively catholic and assume that since i'm a christian, i'll have the same experience with them as her. she even asked once if i am christian or catholic. i tried not to laugh. the point being, finally the other day, she just started talking to me about her faith. she left her faith, more or less, in early high school. she said she left when she stopped being happy. her life really kinda sucked for a long time. her best friend was killed by a drunk driver, and then one of her friends was accused of and sent to jail for murdering a few of her other friends. she says she doesn't think he did it, but it's a double life sentence. all her boyfriends and close friends have been druggies until the last year or so. she quit drugs about a year ago. smoking is the only thing she can't quit. she smokes two packs a day. so a little over a year ago, she made friends with this girl who got her to go to chruch for the first time in forever, and that kinda started her thinking about things like that again.
ok, now that you have to background, roughly, i'll go on. i loaned her my discman the other day, cause she was going nuts from lack of music. i brought two discmen, so it made sense to let her borrow one. and then, i also picked out some of my cds i thought she might like. she's huge into punk. and i mean, not just generically, but the lifestyle, the everything. she was super tight with these guys in a punk band for about three years, and stuff. but she had mentioned that when she went to the warped tour festival last year, she had really liked mxpx and was really sad that five iron frenzy had been on at the same time so she couldn't watch them. i had philmore with me, insyderz skalleluia cds, and some compilation christian christmas cds. she said that first night she had my cd player, she was really hesitant about the whole christian music thing, but since i had loaned them to her and she was thankful, she thought she'd just listen to philmore that night instead of praying. she was shocked. first of all, woah, they actually MENTIONED god in the lyrics, which isn't quite as common for five iron or mxpx of course. her favorite song on there was worth the wait. it just blew her mind, she said. then she listened to the insyderz and loved them too. how cool is that, huh?:)
so the other night, she starts asking me my opinion on forgiveness, which she's been thinking about because of the one philmore song. she has a hugely hard time believing that god would forgive her (or anyone) for mistakes she's made when she keeps making them. and it seems so weird, cause it turns out that her big hang-up is the fact that she smokes. it's not honoring her body, which is a sin, but she's not ready to give it up. so how can god forgive her or love her when she doesn't want to stop sinning? i kept giving her my opinion and understanding of things, emphasizing that what i was saying was just that. except on some basic points like that god loves her no matter what she's done and she can't earn or deserve god's love. she was just soaking in everything i was telling her. and from earlier experience with her, i know that she's a listener and a rememberer. this girl is going to hold me so accountable, because her eyes are peeled for hypocrisy. holy cow.
so last night, we talked more about faith issues. we stayed up till 3:30 in fact. she kept asking me these really hard questions. what do i think heaven is like? does god want her to give up all her friends and the things she loves, because most of them aren't very supportive of her faith? where do i find happiness? would i date a boy who wasn't a christian? what do i think of other faiths like muslim etc? does my family ever pray together? what about the book of revelation? what are my favorite parts of the bible? i was as honest as i could be. my vision of heaven is like the happiest i've ever been (for real, not just generically) but way more (this makes me think of dancing, singing, laughing till my stomach hurts, things like that). i don't think we need to be friends exclusively with christians, but if someone's dragging our faith down, maybe we need to give this some thought, but that's an issue i'm not completely sure on either. the only place i find joy is god, and i try not to depend on anything or anyone else for that, cause they'll let me down. if i really really liked a boy who wasn't a christian, i would have a really hard time but i wouldn't date him, cause i would need someone who'll challenge me to grow. other faiths... i believe jesus is the only way to heaven and he's the truth, but the question of other people's salvation isn't really mine to answer (i told her this is something i definetly don't know). my family, unfortunately, doesn't really pray together ever. i don't really understand the book of revelation, but as long as i know i believe in god, i'm not worried about how the world will end. and then we spent some time where i flipped through the bible and showed her some parts i like. she even asked me or my testimony.
whew. that was long. i could say so much more about this, but i think i've already exceeded the amount one can include in an email and remain interesting. i hope this poet thing gets straightened out. everyone else in here is doing homework. hm. ok, peace out.
other news: i'm finally making actual plans for travel. next weekend, i'm going to ireland to visit beth hood, weekend after that i'll be going to edinburgh to eat at zimblemans and hang out, and the weekend after THAT, i'll go to oxford and hang out with that girl emily who i met the very first day of this trip. i'll try to get out of the country, but it may prove difficult. i really want to see spain, italy, and france, but i'd be satisfied with just seeing other british things.
yesterday i shopped. i know, weird. and, although i did buy mostly books and cds (five of each, although the books were for my nephew), i even looked at clothes. i tried on a dress that cost £222, which is like $330 or so. prettiest dress i've ever tried on in my life. velvet. mauve. there was a shawl. the lady who worked there took a picture of me in it for me. man, i'm not one to lust over clothing, but i wish i had a good excuse to buy that. i'd wear it a lot to make it worth it. i'd wear it to church, to do laundry, to shovel the sidewalk.
ok, now for the bulk of what i have to say:) don't you love how long and not to the point my emails are?:) anyway, i've mentioned this girl jenn who i'm friends with here, right? she's american, from pennsylvania. i think i may be getting more of a cultural experience from her than from the brits, because she's totally lived this life that is crazy. lots of drugs, lived with a guy or two, works with teenage boys who are in a group home because they have really serious issues (some of hers were recently sent to prison for life because they beat a guy who was a coworker of jenn's head in). her stories are just amazing.
but anyway, jenn and i have been getting into some really good conversation lately. she's kind of hinted a lot before that she has this faith, but it's in a weird place right now. she's been going to private catholic schools since preschool. and it's funny, cause i don't think she knows anything about christianity outside of catholocism. she'll reference things that are pretty exclusively catholic and assume that since i'm a christian, i'll have the same experience with them as her. she even asked once if i am christian or catholic. i tried not to laugh. the point being, finally the other day, she just started talking to me about her faith. she left her faith, more or less, in early high school. she said she left when she stopped being happy. her life really kinda sucked for a long time. her best friend was killed by a drunk driver, and then one of her friends was accused of and sent to jail for murdering a few of her other friends. she says she doesn't think he did it, but it's a double life sentence. all her boyfriends and close friends have been druggies until the last year or so. she quit drugs about a year ago. smoking is the only thing she can't quit. she smokes two packs a day. so a little over a year ago, she made friends with this girl who got her to go to chruch for the first time in forever, and that kinda started her thinking about things like that again.
ok, now that you have to background, roughly, i'll go on. i loaned her my discman the other day, cause she was going nuts from lack of music. i brought two discmen, so it made sense to let her borrow one. and then, i also picked out some of my cds i thought she might like. she's huge into punk. and i mean, not just generically, but the lifestyle, the everything. she was super tight with these guys in a punk band for about three years, and stuff. but she had mentioned that when she went to the warped tour festival last year, she had really liked mxpx and was really sad that five iron frenzy had been on at the same time so she couldn't watch them. i had philmore with me, insyderz skalleluia cds, and some compilation christian christmas cds. she said that first night she had my cd player, she was really hesitant about the whole christian music thing, but since i had loaned them to her and she was thankful, she thought she'd just listen to philmore that night instead of praying. she was shocked. first of all, woah, they actually MENTIONED god in the lyrics, which isn't quite as common for five iron or mxpx of course. her favorite song on there was worth the wait. it just blew her mind, she said. then she listened to the insyderz and loved them too. how cool is that, huh?:)
so the other night, she starts asking me my opinion on forgiveness, which she's been thinking about because of the one philmore song. she has a hugely hard time believing that god would forgive her (or anyone) for mistakes she's made when she keeps making them. and it seems so weird, cause it turns out that her big hang-up is the fact that she smokes. it's not honoring her body, which is a sin, but she's not ready to give it up. so how can god forgive her or love her when she doesn't want to stop sinning? i kept giving her my opinion and understanding of things, emphasizing that what i was saying was just that. except on some basic points like that god loves her no matter what she's done and she can't earn or deserve god's love. she was just soaking in everything i was telling her. and from earlier experience with her, i know that she's a listener and a rememberer. this girl is going to hold me so accountable, because her eyes are peeled for hypocrisy. holy cow.
so last night, we talked more about faith issues. we stayed up till 3:30 in fact. she kept asking me these really hard questions. what do i think heaven is like? does god want her to give up all her friends and the things she loves, because most of them aren't very supportive of her faith? where do i find happiness? would i date a boy who wasn't a christian? what do i think of other faiths like muslim etc? does my family ever pray together? what about the book of revelation? what are my favorite parts of the bible? i was as honest as i could be. my vision of heaven is like the happiest i've ever been (for real, not just generically) but way more (this makes me think of dancing, singing, laughing till my stomach hurts, things like that). i don't think we need to be friends exclusively with christians, but if someone's dragging our faith down, maybe we need to give this some thought, but that's an issue i'm not completely sure on either. the only place i find joy is god, and i try not to depend on anything or anyone else for that, cause they'll let me down. if i really really liked a boy who wasn't a christian, i would have a really hard time but i wouldn't date him, cause i would need someone who'll challenge me to grow. other faiths... i believe jesus is the only way to heaven and he's the truth, but the question of other people's salvation isn't really mine to answer (i told her this is something i definetly don't know). my family, unfortunately, doesn't really pray together ever. i don't really understand the book of revelation, but as long as i know i believe in god, i'm not worried about how the world will end. and then we spent some time where i flipped through the bible and showed her some parts i like. she even asked me or my testimony.
whew. that was long. i could say so much more about this, but i think i've already exceeded the amount one can include in an email and remain interesting. i hope this poet thing gets straightened out. everyone else in here is doing homework. hm. ok, peace out.