rachel and elsie
so i went to a funeral today. i noticed a few posts about death on my friends list today.
i feel like i've been to a lot of funerals. this was number eight, at least. at least this time, it was for someone older. she was a family friend, rachel, 88. she was the mother of my dad's best friend growing up. he still stays in close touch with the son, phil. rachel's husband died 11 years ago and then, for about five years, she was living on her own, away from family. that was my primetime getting to know her. my dad made frequent trips to visit her, take care of the house, wash her dog, take her out to lunch. and it wasn't uncommon for me to go with him.
she was such a sweet woman. she was really short. maybe 4'10". she taught first grade before she retired. she was the type of woman who was always really into whatever you had to say, whatever was going on in your life. she was very invested in the lives of those in her circle, you know? and very grandmotherly. the last time i remember seeing her was right before she moved to minneapolis to be closer to her son. that was... six years ago maybe? that's when she moved, but it may have been longer since i last saw her.
the funeral today was mostly really nice. my dad was an honorary pallbearer (she was creamated). they had some old photos of her up. she was a hottie. there were pictures of her in the 30s and 40s. she looked like your classic warbride, which is what she was. her husband, art, married her while home on leave during world war 2. instead of organ music in the church, they had big band--glen miller, i think. i listened to it and thought, wow. this music was brand new when rachel looked like that girl in the picture, when she got married. it just felt so appropriate to me.
walking in, i met phil's younger brother, who also grew up with my dad, but who i don't remember ever meeting. he says last time he saw me, i was up to his knee. and i'd never met his wife. i said who i was and she smiled and laughed and said she feels like she ought to know me because rachel always kept her up-to-date on where i was and what i was doing. which made me sad, because like i said, i hadn't seen her in so long... i wish i'd seen her more recently. she was such a great person.
the only part of the funeral i didn't feel like was really nice was the message the pastor gave. and that was just because he'd never met her before, so it was generic. long-winded and generic.
another older woman i grew up with died recently. elsie. she was a neighbor. when i was a little girl, i used to wander door-to-door in my neighborhood and ask for cookies. it was a sweet racket:) lots of old people, and they all doled out the cookies. elsie's husband died when i was fairly young.
elsie was the type of woman who would cut out articles from magazines and send them to you, out of the blue. i got a birthday card from her once while working at camp, and i hadn't seen her for a few years. random. but sweet and thoughtful:) she had that long, lean, elegant old-fashioned handwriting you expect older ladies to have.
the last time i saw her, she was working. a few years back, she helped to open up a charity store here in town. it's mostly clothes, and there are no prices--you pay what you can afford. she was over 90 by then. but when i approached her and said hi, she greeted me by name. then, she proudly bragged that even at her age, she could still remember my name. she couldn't remember the name of her friend she was working with that day, a lady sitting right next to her as we talked (whose name, funnily enough, was also helen), but she remembered mine.
i feel like i've been to a lot of funerals. this was number eight, at least. at least this time, it was for someone older. she was a family friend, rachel, 88. she was the mother of my dad's best friend growing up. he still stays in close touch with the son, phil. rachel's husband died 11 years ago and then, for about five years, she was living on her own, away from family. that was my primetime getting to know her. my dad made frequent trips to visit her, take care of the house, wash her dog, take her out to lunch. and it wasn't uncommon for me to go with him.
she was such a sweet woman. she was really short. maybe 4'10". she taught first grade before she retired. she was the type of woman who was always really into whatever you had to say, whatever was going on in your life. she was very invested in the lives of those in her circle, you know? and very grandmotherly. the last time i remember seeing her was right before she moved to minneapolis to be closer to her son. that was... six years ago maybe? that's when she moved, but it may have been longer since i last saw her.
the funeral today was mostly really nice. my dad was an honorary pallbearer (she was creamated). they had some old photos of her up. she was a hottie. there were pictures of her in the 30s and 40s. she looked like your classic warbride, which is what she was. her husband, art, married her while home on leave during world war 2. instead of organ music in the church, they had big band--glen miller, i think. i listened to it and thought, wow. this music was brand new when rachel looked like that girl in the picture, when she got married. it just felt so appropriate to me.
walking in, i met phil's younger brother, who also grew up with my dad, but who i don't remember ever meeting. he says last time he saw me, i was up to his knee. and i'd never met his wife. i said who i was and she smiled and laughed and said she feels like she ought to know me because rachel always kept her up-to-date on where i was and what i was doing. which made me sad, because like i said, i hadn't seen her in so long... i wish i'd seen her more recently. she was such a great person.
the only part of the funeral i didn't feel like was really nice was the message the pastor gave. and that was just because he'd never met her before, so it was generic. long-winded and generic.
another older woman i grew up with died recently. elsie. she was a neighbor. when i was a little girl, i used to wander door-to-door in my neighborhood and ask for cookies. it was a sweet racket:) lots of old people, and they all doled out the cookies. elsie's husband died when i was fairly young.
elsie was the type of woman who would cut out articles from magazines and send them to you, out of the blue. i got a birthday card from her once while working at camp, and i hadn't seen her for a few years. random. but sweet and thoughtful:) she had that long, lean, elegant old-fashioned handwriting you expect older ladies to have.
the last time i saw her, she was working. a few years back, she helped to open up a charity store here in town. it's mostly clothes, and there are no prices--you pay what you can afford. she was over 90 by then. but when i approached her and said hi, she greeted me by name. then, she proudly bragged that even at her age, she could still remember my name. she couldn't remember the name of her friend she was working with that day, a lady sitting right next to her as we talked (whose name, funnily enough, was also helen), but she remembered mine.