TEYLA!
Who is psyched tonight for SGA? ME. Not for any particular reason, since I don’t know what episode that I have been deliciously spoiled for is airing tonight, but I can talk about
1. John Sheppard can tell, from fifty yards away, when Teyla is wearing a HOT OUTFIT. I’m assuming that his “hot date!” comment was supposed to come off in a flirty way, and not in the “YEAH, GIRLFRIEND! You go!” way that it did, indicating that John spends at least some of his spare time hanging around with Teyla and talking about clothes.
2. Teyla was actually allowed to be a person in this episode, amazingly, and I loved how jittery she was, how thinly she concealed her emotions, and my interpretation of this is that the last three years, with totally serene Teyla in lacy tops have been from, oh, say, Sheppard’s POV. Teyla! She’s awesome at fighting and never gets mad or upset or anything and even when she gets upset she looks pretty and makes good arguments and has kickass putdowns and wears outfits that show that her body is PERFECT. Teyla! She never fucks up and always has an extra knife and treats Rodney with gentle good humor but doesn’t flirt with him or actually want to get naked with him because that would be sad and awful. TEYLA! Her room is all decorated with candles and nice drapes and she does yoga for fun and her hair always looks amazing and even when I made out with her that time I was a bug she didn’t hold it against me because she is always serene and doesn’t judge people ever. Teyla! That is a fucking HOT ASS COAT!
But this episode was actually from Teyla’s POV, so we saw that she really struggles with remaining calm and visibly has to restrain herself from being really mean. Also, from certain angles you could see that she had kind of a belly (Obvs, I know that Teyla is, uh, is this a spoiler, um, pregnant) but supposing we didn’t know that, and just realized that Teyla’s body isn’t the crazy perfect 10 svelte-machine Sheppard has always thought it is, but is, instead, just a body. A nice body, a body that can kick ass and take care of itself. Teyla has barely concealed rage! Teyla gets frustrated when a bunch of dudes try to kill her! Teyla doesn’t want to listen to your shit anymore!
I thought it was great, and think Teyla should act annoyed all the time, because her bitchface is legendary.
Also, most importantly, we learned that Teyla digs nerds. This, more than anything, accounts for her ongoing ability to tolerate Sheppard and McKay. She thinks they’re cute. She has a soft-spot for the kind of lame!
Also, speaking of pregnancy, what was UP with the "cliffhanger" ending; what, are we supposed to worry that Teyla has, like, Space Chlamydia or something? Or a tumor! I don’t even know. Can we just move on to Sheppard’s face, on learning that Teyla is pregnant? I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks and weeks, and if I’m cheated out of it, I might send a postcard or something.
Emotions that Lt. Colonel John Sheppard might exhibit on learning that Teyla Emmagen is pregnant (a semi-chronological list)
1. Surprise
2. Shock
3. Disappointment (Teyla is sleeping with someone! But we have sexual tension every fifth episode or something. Also, she has that HOT COAT.)
4. Moderate Heartache.
5. Self-loathing (Teyla doesn't want him, he isn't hot anymore and he sexually assaulted her that time/also maybe he couldn’t get his wife pregnant.)
6. More self-loathing (upon realizing he should probably say something.)
7. Confusion (Shit. Should he say congratulations?)
8. Congratulations-face
9. Worry (Shit, should he have said congratulations? Maybe it was an accident. Maybe she got raped!)
10. Anger/Rageahol (HOLY SHIT DID TEYLA GET RAPED? NO? THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED? OKAY THEN.)
11. Relief.
12. Sadness (Why won’t anyone ever tell him when they’re dating people! He found out about Katie Brown from Lorne! Is it Ronon’s? IS IT RODNEY’S?)
13. Selfish Anger (THIS WILL RUIN THE TEAM, THE ONLY REAL FAMILY UNIT HE’S EVER HAD WHO WILL LOVE HIM NOW GOD DAMNIT PROBABLY RODNEY IS GOING TO GET MARRIED TOO FUCK.)
14. Philosophical Despair (It’s fine! He’s a loner! Maybe he’ll take up yoga or boxing or bicycle repair.)
15. Thoughfulness (You know, a bike would be really useful in Atlantis.)
Also, I hope that it includes a a brief flicker of “YAY I LOVE BABIES!”-face, but I’m not sure what JFlan’s thoughts are about whether Sheppard loves babies or not. Obviously, I hope that Sheppard secretly LOVES babies. I hope he reacts like Barney did on how I Met Your Mother when he found out his brother was adopting a baby with his (the brother’s) partner, all "There’s gonna be a BABY?" Siiigh.
In re: Keller. Whenever she interacts with Ronon, I just keep expecting him to say "UH, My WIFE was a doctor, I think I know what alien chickenpox looks like!" or any other host of sentences that begins with "UH, my WIFE was a doctor." The all-time most amazing part of that Amnesia episode was when Ronon announced: "I FEEL GREAT!" I bet Ronon fucking bounces out of bed every morning "FEELING GREAT!" On days when he has a bullet wound or someone he knows gets killed, he downgrades it to "I feel good."
Oh, RIGHT, I got completely off track during the baby discussion, but what I most wanted to say about this episode was that my favorite part was where Teyla told Keller she could walk across the bridge or NOT, and then just left her there. This is an actual use of women characters (!!!) since no man (well, no man as written by SGA) would just leave a woman there by her lonesome and take off. Possibly Sheppard would leave Rodney, but I doubt it. It just seemed like a really genuine way that women might really interact/negotiate with each other and also it showed, once again, that Teyla was a human person with some limits, even if she was a human person in leather pants who was didn’t mind eating land squid.
Oh, and PS: What about the fact that Teyla’s normal bumming-around chillin’ with my homies clothes include tight lowriders and backless shirts, and her smokin’ hot DATE clothes cover up everything but a slice of chest?
1. John Sheppard can tell, from fifty yards away, when Teyla is wearing a HOT OUTFIT. I’m assuming that his “hot date!” comment was supposed to come off in a flirty way, and not in the “YEAH, GIRLFRIEND! You go!” way that it did, indicating that John spends at least some of his spare time hanging around with Teyla and talking about clothes.
2. Teyla was actually allowed to be a person in this episode, amazingly, and I loved how jittery she was, how thinly she concealed her emotions, and my interpretation of this is that the last three years, with totally serene Teyla in lacy tops have been from, oh, say, Sheppard’s POV. Teyla! She’s awesome at fighting and never gets mad or upset or anything and even when she gets upset she looks pretty and makes good arguments and has kickass putdowns and wears outfits that show that her body is PERFECT. Teyla! She never fucks up and always has an extra knife and treats Rodney with gentle good humor but doesn’t flirt with him or actually want to get naked with him because that would be sad and awful. TEYLA! Her room is all decorated with candles and nice drapes and she does yoga for fun and her hair always looks amazing and even when I made out with her that time I was a bug she didn’t hold it against me because she is always serene and doesn’t judge people ever. Teyla! That is a fucking HOT ASS COAT!
But this episode was actually from Teyla’s POV, so we saw that she really struggles with remaining calm and visibly has to restrain herself from being really mean. Also, from certain angles you could see that she had kind of a belly (Obvs, I know that Teyla is, uh, is this a spoiler, um, pregnant) but supposing we didn’t know that, and just realized that Teyla’s body isn’t the crazy perfect 10 svelte-machine Sheppard has always thought it is, but is, instead, just a body. A nice body, a body that can kick ass and take care of itself. Teyla has barely concealed rage! Teyla gets frustrated when a bunch of dudes try to kill her! Teyla doesn’t want to listen to your shit anymore!
I thought it was great, and think Teyla should act annoyed all the time, because her bitchface is legendary.
Also, most importantly, we learned that Teyla digs nerds. This, more than anything, accounts for her ongoing ability to tolerate Sheppard and McKay. She thinks they’re cute. She has a soft-spot for the kind of lame!
Also, speaking of pregnancy, what was UP with the "cliffhanger" ending; what, are we supposed to worry that Teyla has, like, Space Chlamydia or something? Or a tumor! I don’t even know. Can we just move on to Sheppard’s face, on learning that Teyla is pregnant? I’ve been looking forward to this for weeks and weeks, and if I’m cheated out of it, I might send a postcard or something.
Emotions that Lt. Colonel John Sheppard might exhibit on learning that Teyla Emmagen is pregnant (a semi-chronological list)
1. Surprise
2. Shock
3. Disappointment (Teyla is sleeping with someone! But we have sexual tension every fifth episode or something. Also, she has that HOT COAT.)
4. Moderate Heartache.
5. Self-loathing (Teyla doesn't want him, he isn't hot anymore and he sexually assaulted her that time/also maybe he couldn’t get his wife pregnant.)
6. More self-loathing (upon realizing he should probably say something.)
7. Confusion (Shit. Should he say congratulations?)
8. Congratulations-face
9. Worry (Shit, should he have said congratulations? Maybe it was an accident. Maybe she got raped!)
10. Anger/Rageahol (HOLY SHIT DID TEYLA GET RAPED? NO? THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED? OKAY THEN.)
11. Relief.
12. Sadness (Why won’t anyone ever tell him when they’re dating people! He found out about Katie Brown from Lorne! Is it Ronon’s? IS IT RODNEY’S?)
13. Selfish Anger (THIS WILL RUIN THE TEAM, THE ONLY REAL FAMILY UNIT HE’S EVER HAD WHO WILL LOVE HIM NOW GOD DAMNIT PROBABLY RODNEY IS GOING TO GET MARRIED TOO FUCK.)
14. Philosophical Despair (It’s fine! He’s a loner! Maybe he’ll take up yoga or boxing or bicycle repair.)
15. Thoughfulness (You know, a bike would be really useful in Atlantis.)
Also, I hope that it includes a a brief flicker of “YAY I LOVE BABIES!”-face, but I’m not sure what JFlan’s thoughts are about whether Sheppard loves babies or not. Obviously, I hope that Sheppard secretly LOVES babies. I hope he reacts like Barney did on how I Met Your Mother when he found out his brother was adopting a baby with his (the brother’s) partner, all "There’s gonna be a BABY?" Siiigh.
In re: Keller. Whenever she interacts with Ronon, I just keep expecting him to say "UH, My WIFE was a doctor, I think I know what alien chickenpox looks like!" or any other host of sentences that begins with "UH, my WIFE was a doctor." The all-time most amazing part of that Amnesia episode was when Ronon announced: "I FEEL GREAT!" I bet Ronon fucking bounces out of bed every morning "FEELING GREAT!" On days when he has a bullet wound or someone he knows gets killed, he downgrades it to "I feel good."
Oh, RIGHT, I got completely off track during the baby discussion, but what I most wanted to say about this episode was that my favorite part was where Teyla told Keller she could walk across the bridge or NOT, and then just left her there. This is an actual use of women characters (!!!) since no man (well, no man as written by SGA) would just leave a woman there by her lonesome and take off. Possibly Sheppard would leave Rodney, but I doubt it. It just seemed like a really genuine way that women might really interact/negotiate with each other and also it showed, once again, that Teyla was a human person with some limits, even if she was a human person in leather pants who was didn’t mind eating land squid.
Oh, and PS: What about the fact that Teyla’s normal bumming-around chillin’ with my homies clothes include tight lowriders and backless shirts, and her smokin’ hot DATE clothes cover up everything but a slice of chest?