seven letter word for liar 6/19
“I just meant that I’m not surprised,” Cameron replied. “I mean...that’s what he does. He acts like an asshole and then he shows up when you least expect it, says something utterly meaningless and hopes you grasp some semblance of meaning from his words, and then leaves, feeling like he’s paid his dues.” house, md. chapter 6.
xxx
“What’s up with Cuddy?” Cameron asked, catching Wilson as he walked towards the front entrance of the hospital. She followed him outside, matching stride with him.
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Wilson insisted, slowing down. “Did she say something to you?”
Cameron shrugged, feeling a bit childish for running to Wilson in the first place. But Cuddy had been tense around Cameron all morning. Cameron had gotten the distinct impression that Cuddy was mad at her. Then, when House stumbled upon the two of them in the hallway, Cuddy wouldn't look at House, let alone speak to him, leaving Cameron to deal with his antics. It was all very unCuddy-like.
“She’s just acting strangely,” Cameron replied. “And I get the feeling that it has something to do with House.”
Wilson raised his eyebrows at her accusingly.
Cameron shook her head. “It’s not like that,” she insisted flatly. “I just want to know why Cuddy’s acting so weird, because it’s affecting me. She’s sending me to clean up all of House’s messes, and she won’t even talk to him. Something happened, and that something is interfering with my job. So spill.”
Wilson stopped, leaning against the side of his car. “This is none of your business,” he insisted. “You know that right? In fact, you know that by asking this, you’re acting just like House would?”
“Well, when in doubt, my motto is What Would House Do?” Cameron smirked.
Wilson grinned. “Cuddy lost a baby,” he said, as if this statement could account for everything going on between House and Cuddy.
Cameron shrugged. “I know that. I was there.” She looked up at Wilson. “It’s just, she took three days off. Cuddy. Not that I don’t understand how this must have affected her, but Cuddy keeps her personal life and professional life very separate.” She crossed her arms, arriving at her point. “Something must have happened with House. Otherwise, she would have buried herself in her work...she wouldn’t have avoided it.”
“Look, I don’t know anything for certain,” Wilson began, obviously feeling guilty about revealing information. “I just know that House stopped by to check on her Tuesday night. At her house.”
Cameron nodded.
“I know that seems out of character for him but...”
“No,” Cameron started. “That sounds just about right.” She quickly fixed her expression. Why had she sounded bitter?
Wilson was intrigued. “Go on...”
“I just meant that I’m not surprised,” Cameron replied. “I mean...that’s what he does. He acts like an asshole and then he shows up when you least expect it, says something utterly meaningless and hopes you grasp some semblance of meaning from his words, and then leaves, feeling like he’s paid his dues.”
Wilson grinned. “But, uh, you wouldn’t know this from personal experience or anything...” he teased.
Cameron rolled her eyes. “I just mean that Cuddy should have expected that much. House may be a jerk sometimes, but he always has to have the last word.”
“I’m pretty sure he had more than just the last word...”
Cameron eyes darted upwards, her neck snapping immediately so that her head could turn towards Wilson. She tapped her tongue against her teeth anxiously before commenting.
“You think something happened?” she asked, shifting her weight.
“No, you think something happened,” Wilson replied, looking amused. “Remember?”
Cameron bit her lip. “Okay, fine. Stop tormenting me and tell me.”
“Do you really want to know?” He was mocking her, but Cameron detected a hint of sincerity in her words. He was worried that upon learning what had happened, she might wish he had never told her.
But Cameron wasn’t one for blissful ignorance.
“It’s either something really terrible...or something really...” She didn’t know what word to use. Nice? Nice for Cuddy maybe.
“They kissed,” Wilson said simply, looking automatically at Cameron, waiting to gage her reaction. “He kissed her.”
Cameron nodded. Bet she kissed back, she thought bitterly. “That’s good,” she said quickly.
Wilson lost control, unable to hold back his laughter. “You’re annoyed,” he pointed out.
“No,” Cameron shrugged. “Why would I be annoyed?” Don’t fucking answer that.
Cameron was not House. If she had been, Wilson would have continued on with their banter, not holding back on account of her feelings. However, she was Cameron and Wilson knew better than to say something out of line. Joking was fine, but this particular conversation had obviously struck a cord with her.
“He was probably just...”
Cameron shook her head. “I should get back,” she replied. “Lunch break’s over. And I have to turn in all of House’s files to Cuddy.”
“I thought you finished them a couple weeks ago."
“Oh, you mean the ones that we found in the locker room? Yeah, I finished those quickly enough. However, we just found more in the janitor’s closet.” Cameron shook her head. "Big surprise, Cuddy made me do those, too."
Wilson shook his head. “Cuddy's just..."
Cameron waited for Wilson's big explanation of Lisa Cuddy. She waited for the long speech he was bound to give her on why she should be nice to Cuddy, even though Cuddy was making her job impossible.
But Wilson never finished his sentence. He just thought better of it, and turned away.
xxx
Cameron dropped the last bundle of files in a bin on the floor of Cuddy’s office. She stared reproachfully up at her boss, giving her a look that indicated that if it wasn’t for the very fact that Cuddy could fire her, she’d have a mouthful of remarks ready for her.
Cuddy nearly laughed at Cameron’s anger. Three years ago, Cameron would only go against Cuddy when she thought House was being treated unfairly, when in all reality, he’d received more exceptions than any other doctor. Cameron knew that, but she would stand up for him anyway, insisting that he be given special allowances. Now, Cameron stood before her, upset about how unfairly she was being treated, due to a special allowance made for House. It was irony at its best.
“It’s really the last time,” Cuddy insisted, though both knew Cuddy could care less about whether Cameron was upset over cleaning up House’s messes.
“There are interns who would gladly chart for free,” Cameron offered, an edge to her voice. Half of her wanted to piss Cuddy off. The other half just felt bad about being mean. Cuddy had to still be in pain. But just as Cameron started to soften, an image flooded her head. She tensed, holding firm to her anger.
Cuddy crossed her arms. “But I can’t trust interns to do the job right. You, I can trust. I know it may seem like a stretch, but it’s actually a compliment.”
Cameron had to force herself not to roll her eyes. “Well, then, in the future, I’d prefer if you insulted me.”
Cuddy laughed. She couldn’t help it. Hostility was not an emotion one ever expected to see from Allison Cameron. It was, well, funny.
“Well, thank you anyway,” Cuddy concluded.
Cameron tilted her head. “Why are you always so willing to go out of your way for him?” she asked. She knew this question would eat at Cuddy. It would make her uncomfortable.
Cuddy tensed. She smiled at Cameron knowingly. “I don’t know.” She leaned back in her chair. “Why are you always so willing to go out of your way for him?”
Cameron was now thoroughly annoyed. “I didn’t want to organize his charts. You made me.”
“He made you,” Cuddy corrected. “If I hadn’t have asked you, he would have found some way to get you to do it. You know that.”
Cameron shrugged. “So, I wouldn’t have agreed.”
Cuddy stifled a laugh. “Please,” she remarked.
Cameron narrowed her eyes, insulted. “I don’t do everything he asks me to do. I never did everything he wanted me to do, and you know that.”
Cuddy relented. “I’m sorry,” she insisted. “You’re right.”
Cameron nodded indifferently. She eyed Cuddy for a moment before acting on her suspicions. “Are you avoiding him?”
Cuddy flinched. It was a near half second of weakness, but Cameron had caught it. And Cuddy knew it. Cameron genuinely felt horrible now. Why was she doing this? What did she think it would accomplish?
“I’m not avoiding him,” Cuddy said, her eyes clashing with her words.
Cameron chuckled. “Well, that explains why you dictated the job to me rather than facing House yourself."
“I’m not avoiding him,” Cuddy said simply. It was too late though. The damage had been done. Cameron knew.
“Good luck,” Cameron offered, rather sardonically. She didn’t mean it, at least not in the way it came across. She meant, good luck when he breaks your heart. She had persuaded herself into thinking that heartache could be the only possible outcome of Cuddy’s little crush. House wouldn’t pursue a relationship with Cuddy. That would mean...
Well, that would mean that House was capable of opening up to someone other than her. That would also mean that House was able to love again. It would mean that the words she’d once spoken to him were true. It would mean that he really just couldn’t love her.
Raw acknowledgment flashed in Cuddy’s eyes and this time, it was Cameron who was made the fool. Cuddy knew.
Cameron knew.
Which only meant that House had to know.
Or didn’t want to address it.
“Goodbye Dr. Cuddy,” Cameron said cordially.
“Bye Dr. Cameron,” Cuddy said, sounding a little unstable.
Green and pink and white blobs zoomed past Cameron, their faces all blurred. She could nearly feel Cuddy’s eyes burning through her scrubs as she pleaded with the elevator, nearly jamming her finger as she pounded the tip against the button.
“Going up?” House asked as Cameron stepped on, astonished at his timing.
“No, I just pressed the up button to try and confuse the elevator,” she replied curtly, knowing that her comeback was rather mediocre. She didn’t care. She just wasn’t in the mood to talk to House.
“Why were you talking to Cuddy?”
“Why do you know I was talking to Cuddy?”
“Why else would you be on her floor?”
“Why would you be...” Cameron gave up, sinking down into herself. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. She noticed House making a peculiar face. “What are you doing?” she snapped.
“Trying to remember how much I drank last night...”
“Why?”
“Because you’re acting like I slept with you and never called you back,” House remarked
Cameron cursed the light smile that pulled at her lips. “Are you an only child?” she asked, turning to him quickly. “‘Cause everything’s always got to be about you.”
House smirked. “Now you’re acting like Cuddy.”
Cameron’s eyes widened. “I’m not acting like anyone,” she insisted.
House studied her face. “You’re mad at Cuddy?”
“So?”
“So, it’s just not often that we’re on the same team.”
“You’re mad at Cuddy?” Cameron remarked disbelievingly.
“I’m always mad at Cuddy,” House reminded her, feeling like he had just missed a crucial part of the conversation.
“Yeah, even after...” Cameron stopped, letting her voice trail off. She’d spent years developing enough of a shell around her, so that incidents like this wouldn’t affect her at work. She smiled smugly at House. “Fine,” she said, humoring him. “You’re mad at Cuddy.”
House shot her a juvenile look as the elevator opened. “I don’t know if I want to be mad at Cuddy now. I’m not so sure I want to be on your team.” He sounded like a three year old.
“Yeah,” Cameron nodded, stepping out of the elevator, already feet ahead of him. “That’s your problem isn’t it? You never know which team to stick with.”
She was tempted to turn around, dying to know whether her words had provoked any sort of emotion from within him. She wanted to see if he faltered, if his eyes widened, if he appeared to be at a loss for words.
But then, she’d be no better than he was. She’d be living off of little moments that in retrospect, would do nothing for her. She’d be living in the same deluded world as House.
So, she kept walking, heading for the front doors, though she swore she couldn’t detect the sound of a cane anywhere.
This was because House had been left frozen in his footsteps.
But Allison Cameron did not know that. And she told herself that she did not need to know that.
xxx
“What’s up with Cuddy?” Cameron asked, catching Wilson as he walked towards the front entrance of the hospital. She followed him outside, matching stride with him.
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Wilson insisted, slowing down. “Did she say something to you?”
Cameron shrugged, feeling a bit childish for running to Wilson in the first place. But Cuddy had been tense around Cameron all morning. Cameron had gotten the distinct impression that Cuddy was mad at her. Then, when House stumbled upon the two of them in the hallway, Cuddy wouldn't look at House, let alone speak to him, leaving Cameron to deal with his antics. It was all very unCuddy-like.
“She’s just acting strangely,” Cameron replied. “And I get the feeling that it has something to do with House.”
Wilson raised his eyebrows at her accusingly.
Cameron shook her head. “It’s not like that,” she insisted flatly. “I just want to know why Cuddy’s acting so weird, because it’s affecting me. She’s sending me to clean up all of House’s messes, and she won’t even talk to him. Something happened, and that something is interfering with my job. So spill.”
Wilson stopped, leaning against the side of his car. “This is none of your business,” he insisted. “You know that right? In fact, you know that by asking this, you’re acting just like House would?”
“Well, when in doubt, my motto is What Would House Do?” Cameron smirked.
Wilson grinned. “Cuddy lost a baby,” he said, as if this statement could account for everything going on between House and Cuddy.
Cameron shrugged. “I know that. I was there.” She looked up at Wilson. “It’s just, she took three days off. Cuddy. Not that I don’t understand how this must have affected her, but Cuddy keeps her personal life and professional life very separate.” She crossed her arms, arriving at her point. “Something must have happened with House. Otherwise, she would have buried herself in her work...she wouldn’t have avoided it.”
“Look, I don’t know anything for certain,” Wilson began, obviously feeling guilty about revealing information. “I just know that House stopped by to check on her Tuesday night. At her house.”
Cameron nodded.
“I know that seems out of character for him but...”
“No,” Cameron started. “That sounds just about right.” She quickly fixed her expression. Why had she sounded bitter?
Wilson was intrigued. “Go on...”
“I just meant that I’m not surprised,” Cameron replied. “I mean...that’s what he does. He acts like an asshole and then he shows up when you least expect it, says something utterly meaningless and hopes you grasp some semblance of meaning from his words, and then leaves, feeling like he’s paid his dues.”
Wilson grinned. “But, uh, you wouldn’t know this from personal experience or anything...” he teased.
Cameron rolled her eyes. “I just mean that Cuddy should have expected that much. House may be a jerk sometimes, but he always has to have the last word.”
“I’m pretty sure he had more than just the last word...”
Cameron eyes darted upwards, her neck snapping immediately so that her head could turn towards Wilson. She tapped her tongue against her teeth anxiously before commenting.
“You think something happened?” she asked, shifting her weight.
“No, you think something happened,” Wilson replied, looking amused. “Remember?”
Cameron bit her lip. “Okay, fine. Stop tormenting me and tell me.”
“Do you really want to know?” He was mocking her, but Cameron detected a hint of sincerity in her words. He was worried that upon learning what had happened, she might wish he had never told her.
But Cameron wasn’t one for blissful ignorance.
“It’s either something really terrible...or something really...” She didn’t know what word to use. Nice? Nice for Cuddy maybe.
“They kissed,” Wilson said simply, looking automatically at Cameron, waiting to gage her reaction. “He kissed her.”
Cameron nodded. Bet she kissed back, she thought bitterly. “That’s good,” she said quickly.
Wilson lost control, unable to hold back his laughter. “You’re annoyed,” he pointed out.
“No,” Cameron shrugged. “Why would I be annoyed?” Don’t fucking answer that.
Cameron was not House. If she had been, Wilson would have continued on with their banter, not holding back on account of her feelings. However, she was Cameron and Wilson knew better than to say something out of line. Joking was fine, but this particular conversation had obviously struck a cord with her.
“He was probably just...”
Cameron shook her head. “I should get back,” she replied. “Lunch break’s over. And I have to turn in all of House’s files to Cuddy.”
“I thought you finished them a couple weeks ago."
“Oh, you mean the ones that we found in the locker room? Yeah, I finished those quickly enough. However, we just found more in the janitor’s closet.” Cameron shook her head. "Big surprise, Cuddy made me do those, too."
Wilson shook his head. “Cuddy's just..."
Cameron waited for Wilson's big explanation of Lisa Cuddy. She waited for the long speech he was bound to give her on why she should be nice to Cuddy, even though Cuddy was making her job impossible.
But Wilson never finished his sentence. He just thought better of it, and turned away.
xxx
Cameron dropped the last bundle of files in a bin on the floor of Cuddy’s office. She stared reproachfully up at her boss, giving her a look that indicated that if it wasn’t for the very fact that Cuddy could fire her, she’d have a mouthful of remarks ready for her.
Cuddy nearly laughed at Cameron’s anger. Three years ago, Cameron would only go against Cuddy when she thought House was being treated unfairly, when in all reality, he’d received more exceptions than any other doctor. Cameron knew that, but she would stand up for him anyway, insisting that he be given special allowances. Now, Cameron stood before her, upset about how unfairly she was being treated, due to a special allowance made for House. It was irony at its best.
“It’s really the last time,” Cuddy insisted, though both knew Cuddy could care less about whether Cameron was upset over cleaning up House’s messes.
“There are interns who would gladly chart for free,” Cameron offered, an edge to her voice. Half of her wanted to piss Cuddy off. The other half just felt bad about being mean. Cuddy had to still be in pain. But just as Cameron started to soften, an image flooded her head. She tensed, holding firm to her anger.
Cuddy crossed her arms. “But I can’t trust interns to do the job right. You, I can trust. I know it may seem like a stretch, but it’s actually a compliment.”
Cameron had to force herself not to roll her eyes. “Well, then, in the future, I’d prefer if you insulted me.”
Cuddy laughed. She couldn’t help it. Hostility was not an emotion one ever expected to see from Allison Cameron. It was, well, funny.
“Well, thank you anyway,” Cuddy concluded.
Cameron tilted her head. “Why are you always so willing to go out of your way for him?” she asked. She knew this question would eat at Cuddy. It would make her uncomfortable.
Cuddy tensed. She smiled at Cameron knowingly. “I don’t know.” She leaned back in her chair. “Why are you always so willing to go out of your way for him?”
Cameron was now thoroughly annoyed. “I didn’t want to organize his charts. You made me.”
“He made you,” Cuddy corrected. “If I hadn’t have asked you, he would have found some way to get you to do it. You know that.”
Cameron shrugged. “So, I wouldn’t have agreed.”
Cuddy stifled a laugh. “Please,” she remarked.
Cameron narrowed her eyes, insulted. “I don’t do everything he asks me to do. I never did everything he wanted me to do, and you know that.”
Cuddy relented. “I’m sorry,” she insisted. “You’re right.”
Cameron nodded indifferently. She eyed Cuddy for a moment before acting on her suspicions. “Are you avoiding him?”
Cuddy flinched. It was a near half second of weakness, but Cameron had caught it. And Cuddy knew it. Cameron genuinely felt horrible now. Why was she doing this? What did she think it would accomplish?
“I’m not avoiding him,” Cuddy said, her eyes clashing with her words.
Cameron chuckled. “Well, that explains why you dictated the job to me rather than facing House yourself."
“I’m not avoiding him,” Cuddy said simply. It was too late though. The damage had been done. Cameron knew.
“Good luck,” Cameron offered, rather sardonically. She didn’t mean it, at least not in the way it came across. She meant, good luck when he breaks your heart. She had persuaded herself into thinking that heartache could be the only possible outcome of Cuddy’s little crush. House wouldn’t pursue a relationship with Cuddy. That would mean...
Well, that would mean that House was capable of opening up to someone other than her. That would also mean that House was able to love again. It would mean that the words she’d once spoken to him were true. It would mean that he really just couldn’t love her.
Raw acknowledgment flashed in Cuddy’s eyes and this time, it was Cameron who was made the fool. Cuddy knew.
Cameron knew.
Which only meant that House had to know.
Or didn’t want to address it.
“Goodbye Dr. Cuddy,” Cameron said cordially.
“Bye Dr. Cameron,” Cuddy said, sounding a little unstable.
Green and pink and white blobs zoomed past Cameron, their faces all blurred. She could nearly feel Cuddy’s eyes burning through her scrubs as she pleaded with the elevator, nearly jamming her finger as she pounded the tip against the button.
“Going up?” House asked as Cameron stepped on, astonished at his timing.
“No, I just pressed the up button to try and confuse the elevator,” she replied curtly, knowing that her comeback was rather mediocre. She didn’t care. She just wasn’t in the mood to talk to House.
“Why were you talking to Cuddy?”
“Why do you know I was talking to Cuddy?”
“Why else would you be on her floor?”
“Why would you be...” Cameron gave up, sinking down into herself. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her lab coat. She noticed House making a peculiar face. “What are you doing?” she snapped.
“Trying to remember how much I drank last night...”
“Why?”
“Because you’re acting like I slept with you and never called you back,” House remarked
Cameron cursed the light smile that pulled at her lips. “Are you an only child?” she asked, turning to him quickly. “‘Cause everything’s always got to be about you.”
House smirked. “Now you’re acting like Cuddy.”
Cameron’s eyes widened. “I’m not acting like anyone,” she insisted.
House studied her face. “You’re mad at Cuddy?”
“So?”
“So, it’s just not often that we’re on the same team.”
“You’re mad at Cuddy?” Cameron remarked disbelievingly.
“I’m always mad at Cuddy,” House reminded her, feeling like he had just missed a crucial part of the conversation.
“Yeah, even after...” Cameron stopped, letting her voice trail off. She’d spent years developing enough of a shell around her, so that incidents like this wouldn’t affect her at work. She smiled smugly at House. “Fine,” she said, humoring him. “You’re mad at Cuddy.”
House shot her a juvenile look as the elevator opened. “I don’t know if I want to be mad at Cuddy now. I’m not so sure I want to be on your team.” He sounded like a three year old.
“Yeah,” Cameron nodded, stepping out of the elevator, already feet ahead of him. “That’s your problem isn’t it? You never know which team to stick with.”
She was tempted to turn around, dying to know whether her words had provoked any sort of emotion from within him. She wanted to see if he faltered, if his eyes widened, if he appeared to be at a loss for words.
But then, she’d be no better than he was. She’d be living off of little moments that in retrospect, would do nothing for her. She’d be living in the same deluded world as House.
So, she kept walking, heading for the front doors, though she swore she couldn’t detect the sound of a cane anywhere.
This was because House had been left frozen in his footsteps.
But Allison Cameron did not know that. And she told herself that she did not need to know that.