OC Fics
I know, everyone and their mother has written a little something after The Dearly Beloved.
Well, now, so have I.
Two 500 words drabbles, both angsty (hey, it's The Dearly Beloved we're talking about. I loved it, but I'm not sure it would even be possible to write something funny about it. Plus, I was in a bit of a mood...)
They still don't belong to me. I know that, you know that, Josh knows that.
Brotherly Talk
Ryan needs to apologize to Marissa -- he'll go talk to her as soon as he's done kicking Trey's ass.
He hopes she can forgive him for letting Trey come to Newport, for not seeing it coming, for forgetting that Trey is dangerous.
He feels disloyal, thinking about his brother that way, but there's no denying it.
Ryan still loves his brother. He still remembers the boy Trey used to be, before life with Dawn took away his innocence, and a good chunk of his sanity. And Ryan also remembers how uncomfortable Trey made him feel during the last months they spent in Chino. How unpredictable Trey was becoming then -- the unprovoked outbursts of anger, the risks Trey was beginning to take.
Ryan remembers now, how terrified he was the night they stole that car. The gut-wrenching terror he felt while the cops were chasing after them, the fear of dying, the shame of having taken the easy road -- an easy road that was going to lead him straight to jail.
He remembers now how Trey laughed and yelled gleefully, high on adrenaline, while Ryan was trying not to throw up, not to cry.
In all the upheaval that turned his life upside-down when Sandy took him in, Ryan forgot all that. He had a new life to adjust to, other problems to deal with, other priorities.
And then, fifteen minutes ago, he was forcefully reminded.
"All year, I've tried to be someone I'm not."
What Trey did explains Marissa's odd behavior recently, but doesn't explain why Ryan, who prides himself on being able to read people, didn't see it.
Later, he'll feel bad.
Later, he'll beat himself up -- for giving Trey another chance, for forgetting, for letting Trey come within striking distance of the Cohens, of Marissa, of Ryan's new life.
For not seeing.
For allowing this yuppie town to dull his instincts.
"I can't do that anymore."
But for now, Ryan needs to settle things with Trey once and for all.
He knows that what he's doing is stupid, dangerous, the kind of thing Sandy told him not to do anymore, but Ryan has had a bad day, and he doesn't care about consequences right now.
He has played nice for a year and it's just not worth it. After all, what does he have to show for a result?
He has spent a year being a good boy, only to be dumped by Lindsay and fucked over by Trey.
He has tried to be a good son, only to see another mother-figure turn to the bottle.
He has been nice, and people in Newport still see him as an outsider, someone who doesn't have the right to be here.
If he has to be damned for something, Ryan would at least like it to be because of who he is.
Forget being a good boy, forget fitting in with the rich people, forget second chances.
Time for a little brotherly talk -- Chino style.
END
Be Careful...
Be careful what you wish for…
Once upon a time, Ryan wished his family was richer.
Certainly, he thought, if they had more money, his mother wouldn't need to work her ass off, wouldn't need alcohol to help her to deal with her worries, wouldn't need to find men to validate her.
Certainly, if they had more money, his brother wouldn't keep stealing, wouldn't keep ending up in jail, leaving Ryan alone in the battle zone he called home.
Certainly, if they had more money, Ryan wouldn't need to worry about how to pay for university, his only way of getting the hell out of Chino as soon as he could.
Now, Ryan lives in a rich family, and while he's grateful for the material security, he has learned that even rich people can be screwed up and lonely, that even rich people can feel inadequate and turn to drugs or the bottle as a means to escape a grim reality.
Now, Ryan knows that having money doesn't solve everything, that it just creates different kinds of problems.
***
Be careful what you wish for…
One upon a time, Ryan wished he lived in a normal family -- caring, sober parents, patronizing, brotherly brother.
When he met Sandy, when the Cohens made their home his, he thought he had found it.
A normal family.
Now, he's learning that no family is normal, that everyone is screwed up in a certain way, that nothing is ever simple, even in a shiny paradise.
***
Be careful what you wish for…
Once upon a time, Ryan wished he didn't have to be the one who always tried to save people -- his mother, his brother, Marissa, Theresa.
Once upon a time, Ryan wished someone would go to bat for him.
Now, Marissa has shot Trey to save Ryan's life, and he finds out that being the one who has been saved is just as difficult as being the hero.
Now, when he sees her, still shaking three days after the fact, he wonders why he ever wanted someone to save him.
Now, he wishes he could protect her from what she's done, help her in any way he can, save her from her guilt, from repercussions, from everything.
Now, he wishes he could take it back, wishes things would go back to the way they were two years ago.
He still had hope then. He still thought that one day, things would get better, and he would be happy ever after.
He didn't know then that life doesn't get easier, that there's never a happy ending, that things keep going from bad to worse, that people make horrible mistakes and die and kill.
***
"Be careful what you wish for," Trey often said.
For once, Ryan agrees with his brother.
Now, he has learned his lesson.
***
Once upon a time, Ryan wished.
Now, he doesn't anymore.
It's safer that way, and if he keeps his expectations low, perhaps he won't end up that horribly disappointed again.
END
As usual, thanks to joey51 for beta'ing this. :)
Well, now, so have I.
Two 500 words drabbles, both angsty (hey, it's The Dearly Beloved we're talking about. I loved it, but I'm not sure it would even be possible to write something funny about it. Plus, I was in a bit of a mood...)
They still don't belong to me. I know that, you know that, Josh knows that.
Brotherly Talk
Ryan needs to apologize to Marissa -- he'll go talk to her as soon as he's done kicking Trey's ass.
He hopes she can forgive him for letting Trey come to Newport, for not seeing it coming, for forgetting that Trey is dangerous.
He feels disloyal, thinking about his brother that way, but there's no denying it.
Ryan still loves his brother. He still remembers the boy Trey used to be, before life with Dawn took away his innocence, and a good chunk of his sanity. And Ryan also remembers how uncomfortable Trey made him feel during the last months they spent in Chino. How unpredictable Trey was becoming then -- the unprovoked outbursts of anger, the risks Trey was beginning to take.
Ryan remembers now, how terrified he was the night they stole that car. The gut-wrenching terror he felt while the cops were chasing after them, the fear of dying, the shame of having taken the easy road -- an easy road that was going to lead him straight to jail.
He remembers now how Trey laughed and yelled gleefully, high on adrenaline, while Ryan was trying not to throw up, not to cry.
In all the upheaval that turned his life upside-down when Sandy took him in, Ryan forgot all that. He had a new life to adjust to, other problems to deal with, other priorities.
And then, fifteen minutes ago, he was forcefully reminded.
"All year, I've tried to be someone I'm not."
What Trey did explains Marissa's odd behavior recently, but doesn't explain why Ryan, who prides himself on being able to read people, didn't see it.
Later, he'll feel bad.
Later, he'll beat himself up -- for giving Trey another chance, for forgetting, for letting Trey come within striking distance of the Cohens, of Marissa, of Ryan's new life.
For not seeing.
For allowing this yuppie town to dull his instincts.
"I can't do that anymore."
But for now, Ryan needs to settle things with Trey once and for all.
He knows that what he's doing is stupid, dangerous, the kind of thing Sandy told him not to do anymore, but Ryan has had a bad day, and he doesn't care about consequences right now.
He has played nice for a year and it's just not worth it. After all, what does he have to show for a result?
He has spent a year being a good boy, only to be dumped by Lindsay and fucked over by Trey.
He has tried to be a good son, only to see another mother-figure turn to the bottle.
He has been nice, and people in Newport still see him as an outsider, someone who doesn't have the right to be here.
If he has to be damned for something, Ryan would at least like it to be because of who he is.
Forget being a good boy, forget fitting in with the rich people, forget second chances.
Time for a little brotherly talk -- Chino style.
END
Be Careful...
Be careful what you wish for…
Once upon a time, Ryan wished his family was richer.
Certainly, he thought, if they had more money, his mother wouldn't need to work her ass off, wouldn't need alcohol to help her to deal with her worries, wouldn't need to find men to validate her.
Certainly, if they had more money, his brother wouldn't keep stealing, wouldn't keep ending up in jail, leaving Ryan alone in the battle zone he called home.
Certainly, if they had more money, Ryan wouldn't need to worry about how to pay for university, his only way of getting the hell out of Chino as soon as he could.
Now, Ryan lives in a rich family, and while he's grateful for the material security, he has learned that even rich people can be screwed up and lonely, that even rich people can feel inadequate and turn to drugs or the bottle as a means to escape a grim reality.
Now, Ryan knows that having money doesn't solve everything, that it just creates different kinds of problems.
***
Be careful what you wish for…
One upon a time, Ryan wished he lived in a normal family -- caring, sober parents, patronizing, brotherly brother.
When he met Sandy, when the Cohens made their home his, he thought he had found it.
A normal family.
Now, he's learning that no family is normal, that everyone is screwed up in a certain way, that nothing is ever simple, even in a shiny paradise.
***
Be careful what you wish for…
Once upon a time, Ryan wished he didn't have to be the one who always tried to save people -- his mother, his brother, Marissa, Theresa.
Once upon a time, Ryan wished someone would go to bat for him.
Now, Marissa has shot Trey to save Ryan's life, and he finds out that being the one who has been saved is just as difficult as being the hero.
Now, when he sees her, still shaking three days after the fact, he wonders why he ever wanted someone to save him.
Now, he wishes he could protect her from what she's done, help her in any way he can, save her from her guilt, from repercussions, from everything.
Now, he wishes he could take it back, wishes things would go back to the way they were two years ago.
He still had hope then. He still thought that one day, things would get better, and he would be happy ever after.
He didn't know then that life doesn't get easier, that there's never a happy ending, that things keep going from bad to worse, that people make horrible mistakes and die and kill.
***
"Be careful what you wish for," Trey often said.
For once, Ryan agrees with his brother.
Now, he has learned his lesson.
***
Once upon a time, Ryan wished.
Now, he doesn't anymore.
It's safer that way, and if he keeps his expectations low, perhaps he won't end up that horribly disappointed again.
END
As usual, thanks to joey51 for beta'ing this. :)