DWP/Adventures in Babysitting. A crossover which reveals my age somewhat...
Adventures in Babysitting for Miranda Priestly.
“When he walked me home at night, all the stars were shining bright, and then he kissed me…” (The Crystals)
Andrea Sachs danced into her empty apartment, flicked on the stereo, and immersed herself in the song she had been listening to on repeat ever since her first date with Nate.
She knew how ridiculous she must look. She couldn’t stop from talking to herself though. It was their second date. He had yet to kiss her, but she was dancing and singing to the Crystals ‘Then He Kissed Me.’
“Ok Andy, just relax.” She chattered to herself as she finished putting on her makeup. “Tonite is going to be the greatest night of your life.” She knew that she was being silly, but her romantic life was dead in the water. If she couldn’t have exactly what she wanted, then she could imagine that whatever was given to her was enough.
Andy was still singing when she answered the door, so it took her a full minute to register Nate’s dressed-down attire.
“Hi!” She chirped.
“Hi Andy.” He wore sandals and jeans with a blue t-shirt.
“I’m a bit overdressed….“ Andy took in a stain on Nate’s shirt. She was quiet. Then she said, in a much less cheerful tone, “you’re cancelling, aren’t you…” She paused and tried to spin it in a more positive light. “I could come over instead?”
Nate protested. He had other stuff to do. Something about work. Balancing accounts at the restaurant. He paused and asked,
“You’re upset about tonite, aren’t you…” Implying that since he was sorry, she had no right to be upset.
Passive-aggressive asshole. Andy smiled brightly and pretended not to be upset.
She phoned her best friend Lily immediately after Nate left. Lily tried to convince her that Nate was lying. Andy wouldn’t buy it though.
“Someone is on the other line.” Andy interrupted Lily’s latest rant--something about cuts to the arts.
It was Miranda Priestly’s assistant on the other line. It seemed that the fashion icon had a job for Andy.
Andy’s career had taken a strange nose dive in the years since her arrival in New York. Journalism was replaced by a stint as a waitress when layoffs destroyed the only paper that she had even landed an interview at. She had considered taking on a job as personal assistant at Runway, the magazine run by Miranda Priestly, but Miranda had offered her another opportunity instead.
Andy Sachs was a glorified babysitter. Had been, for the better part of two years.
Fine, she may have had to have upgraded her high school skills somewhat (First Aid, Self-Defense, and extra defensive driver training) to the level of being qualified as a stunt double, body guard, race car driver and UFC fighter, but Andy still considered herself to be an overpaid babysitter.
Overpaid, definitely, because when Miranda Priestly left someone in charge of her twin daughters, she wanted the best. She also paid for a weird array of classes for Andy and always asked at the end of each one if this was Andy’s calling. She often accused Andy of selling herself short.
Given that Andy’s date with Nate was a bust, so she agreed to watch the twins at Miranda’s townhouse while Miranda herself attended a charity gala with her latest boy-toy. Andy could use the money. Overpaid or not, the rent was barely being met by the babysitting thing.
The twins, Caroline and Cassidy, both 13, slammed into Andy the moment she arrived at the townhouse.
“We have our little cousin with us…” Caroline informed her at the door.
“…Mom probably didn‘t mention it…” Cassidy added.
“She tends to wander off.” Caroline added.
“So keep an extra eye on her.” Cassidy laughingly finished.
The little cousin, it turned out, was a ten year old blonde with a strange obsession with comics. She clutched a pile of Batman comics to her chest and wore gloves that had the fingers cut off the ends.
“Are you Lagerfeld?” Andy asked politely, earning roaring laughter from the twins.
“No.” The kid was insulted. “Cat Woman. But the principal said that I couldn’t wear the nails. So I just wear the gloves.”
“Huh.” Andy said, because she had no response to that one.
Her name was Sarah. She was pretty amusing as 10 year olds went.
Andy settled with the kids in the den. They made popcorn and turned on one of the stupid teenaged vampire movies that the twins loved.
“Andrea…” The sultry voice of Miranda Priestly interrupted. Next to her was a vacant looking, but gorgeous, guy. He was probably only 40, maybe younger. Andy gritted her teeth and smiled at them both.
Miranda left twenty phone numbers for Andy and reminded her about the panic room at the garage level. And then she was off, with little more than a quick up and down for Andy and a tight lipped grimace that may have been intended as a smile. Andy supposed that the look was reserved for her ugly brown wool coat. Miranda hated the thing and usually had something smart to say about it. For tonite though, she just looked disappointed, as though Andy was--yet again--refusing to fulfill her potential in life.
Twenty minutes into the movie, Andy’s phone rang. Even the twins grew serious at the look on her face.
“Yeah, of course…” Andy muttered. “I’ll send Miranda’s driver for you, ok? What?…No…No, I can’t do that…Ok, ok…” Lily wanted her to come, not some driver. She insisted.
The four piled into the car that Miranda had purchased just for such an occasion. It was armored and had race-car seat belts.
Andy drove at a snail’s pace, nonetheless. She over-did her spot checks, and moved carefully through the city. Sarah, from her perch in the backseat, began to tell an elaborate story about Bat Woman and her heroic deeds. Andy was amused, listening to it, and wondered if the girl would be a writer some day.
On their way, they passed the upscale restaurant where Andy was supposed to be having dinner at just that moment.
“Nate was supposed to take me there tonite.” She muttered.
“Who, him? That Nate?” Caroline had met Nate once and instantly hated him. She called him a douche, whatever that meant. Tonite, she showed a bit of restraint, realizing even in her 13 year old mind, that something was amiss. “Ummmm…who is he with?” She asked quietly.
Andy screeched the car to a halt. Her mouth fell open. “That’s…he’s…with…” His ex-girlfriend. Andy could not bring herself to say her name.
“Andy…” Cassidy leaned forward to pat her shoulder. “You might want to pull over for a minute.”
The traffic behind them had piled up. There were honks and swear words and they could see someone climbing out of the SUV just behind them. He looked angry.
Andy was in shock. She looked up just in time to meet Nate’s eyes. He looked dumbfounded.
Then a large man was at Andy’s window.
“Hey you…” followed by expletives that had Andy rolling the window up and driving quickly away.
“Sorry girls.” Andy apologized, zipping neatly into the flow of traffic once more. They were still moving at a snail’s pace and the man had caught up. He continued to pound on the window. Then his mouth fell open and he stared hard at Andy.
“What?” She shouted at him. “Go away! What the f…I mean, just…go away!”
He gestured to a magazine in his coat pocket and laughed uproariously.
Suddenly, before Andy could do much about it, Caroline had leaned forward, rolled down the window, and snatched the magazine out of the man’s pocket.
Andy shifted quickly and roared forward.
“What did you do that for?” Andy shouted into the rear view mirror. The guy had run back to his car, which was obviously being driven by someone else, and they were now speeding toward them.
“I wanted to see what he was talking about.” She shrugged, opening the magazine. “it’s just naked ladies. Sort of, I mean not totally naked. Hey, Andy, one of them looks like you!”
Andy had one hand on the wheel and the other reached quickly back to steal the magazine away. “It’s not me. What are you girls doing looking at something like this.” A quick glance at the magazine revealed a series of numbers. Bets, it looked like, judging from the ratios and strange names. Beneath the penned numbers, Miss November--a spitting image of Andy herself--looked up. Miss November wore nothing but a pair of La Perla panties. Andy shoved the magazine into her jacket pocket and continued to drive.
By the time they arrived at the Police station, where Lily was being held for a protest she had taken part in that very night, Andy had managed to evade the men in the SUV.
They went inside to get her, but the officer at the front desk ignored them.
“Excuse me, we’re here to get my friend.” Andy said.
The officer continued to ignore them. She wore too much make-up, but was otherwise sort of pretty. Her eyes were almost cat-like. Her hair was red and thick, though it was pulled into an unattractive ponytail. She was also pretty buff.
Which was what caused their second near-disaster of the night.
“When he walked me home at night, all the stars were shining bright, and then he kissed me…” (The Crystals)
Andrea Sachs danced into her empty apartment, flicked on the stereo, and immersed herself in the song she had been listening to on repeat ever since her first date with Nate.
She knew how ridiculous she must look. She couldn’t stop from talking to herself though. It was their second date. He had yet to kiss her, but she was dancing and singing to the Crystals ‘Then He Kissed Me.’
“Ok Andy, just relax.” She chattered to herself as she finished putting on her makeup. “Tonite is going to be the greatest night of your life.” She knew that she was being silly, but her romantic life was dead in the water. If she couldn’t have exactly what she wanted, then she could imagine that whatever was given to her was enough.
Andy was still singing when she answered the door, so it took her a full minute to register Nate’s dressed-down attire.
“Hi!” She chirped.
“Hi Andy.” He wore sandals and jeans with a blue t-shirt.
“I’m a bit overdressed….“ Andy took in a stain on Nate’s shirt. She was quiet. Then she said, in a much less cheerful tone, “you’re cancelling, aren’t you…” She paused and tried to spin it in a more positive light. “I could come over instead?”
Nate protested. He had other stuff to do. Something about work. Balancing accounts at the restaurant. He paused and asked,
“You’re upset about tonite, aren’t you…” Implying that since he was sorry, she had no right to be upset.
Passive-aggressive asshole. Andy smiled brightly and pretended not to be upset.
She phoned her best friend Lily immediately after Nate left. Lily tried to convince her that Nate was lying. Andy wouldn’t buy it though.
“Someone is on the other line.” Andy interrupted Lily’s latest rant--something about cuts to the arts.
It was Miranda Priestly’s assistant on the other line. It seemed that the fashion icon had a job for Andy.
Andy’s career had taken a strange nose dive in the years since her arrival in New York. Journalism was replaced by a stint as a waitress when layoffs destroyed the only paper that she had even landed an interview at. She had considered taking on a job as personal assistant at Runway, the magazine run by Miranda Priestly, but Miranda had offered her another opportunity instead.
Andy Sachs was a glorified babysitter. Had been, for the better part of two years.
Fine, she may have had to have upgraded her high school skills somewhat (First Aid, Self-Defense, and extra defensive driver training) to the level of being qualified as a stunt double, body guard, race car driver and UFC fighter, but Andy still considered herself to be an overpaid babysitter.
Overpaid, definitely, because when Miranda Priestly left someone in charge of her twin daughters, she wanted the best. She also paid for a weird array of classes for Andy and always asked at the end of each one if this was Andy’s calling. She often accused Andy of selling herself short.
Given that Andy’s date with Nate was a bust, so she agreed to watch the twins at Miranda’s townhouse while Miranda herself attended a charity gala with her latest boy-toy. Andy could use the money. Overpaid or not, the rent was barely being met by the babysitting thing.
The twins, Caroline and Cassidy, both 13, slammed into Andy the moment she arrived at the townhouse.
“We have our little cousin with us…” Caroline informed her at the door.
“…Mom probably didn‘t mention it…” Cassidy added.
“She tends to wander off.” Caroline added.
“So keep an extra eye on her.” Cassidy laughingly finished.
The little cousin, it turned out, was a ten year old blonde with a strange obsession with comics. She clutched a pile of Batman comics to her chest and wore gloves that had the fingers cut off the ends.
“Are you Lagerfeld?” Andy asked politely, earning roaring laughter from the twins.
“No.” The kid was insulted. “Cat Woman. But the principal said that I couldn’t wear the nails. So I just wear the gloves.”
“Huh.” Andy said, because she had no response to that one.
Her name was Sarah. She was pretty amusing as 10 year olds went.
Andy settled with the kids in the den. They made popcorn and turned on one of the stupid teenaged vampire movies that the twins loved.
“Andrea…” The sultry voice of Miranda Priestly interrupted. Next to her was a vacant looking, but gorgeous, guy. He was probably only 40, maybe younger. Andy gritted her teeth and smiled at them both.
Miranda left twenty phone numbers for Andy and reminded her about the panic room at the garage level. And then she was off, with little more than a quick up and down for Andy and a tight lipped grimace that may have been intended as a smile. Andy supposed that the look was reserved for her ugly brown wool coat. Miranda hated the thing and usually had something smart to say about it. For tonite though, she just looked disappointed, as though Andy was--yet again--refusing to fulfill her potential in life.
Twenty minutes into the movie, Andy’s phone rang. Even the twins grew serious at the look on her face.
“Yeah, of course…” Andy muttered. “I’ll send Miranda’s driver for you, ok? What?…No…No, I can’t do that…Ok, ok…” Lily wanted her to come, not some driver. She insisted.
The four piled into the car that Miranda had purchased just for such an occasion. It was armored and had race-car seat belts.
Andy drove at a snail’s pace, nonetheless. She over-did her spot checks, and moved carefully through the city. Sarah, from her perch in the backseat, began to tell an elaborate story about Bat Woman and her heroic deeds. Andy was amused, listening to it, and wondered if the girl would be a writer some day.
On their way, they passed the upscale restaurant where Andy was supposed to be having dinner at just that moment.
“Nate was supposed to take me there tonite.” She muttered.
“Who, him? That Nate?” Caroline had met Nate once and instantly hated him. She called him a douche, whatever that meant. Tonite, she showed a bit of restraint, realizing even in her 13 year old mind, that something was amiss. “Ummmm…who is he with?” She asked quietly.
Andy screeched the car to a halt. Her mouth fell open. “That’s…he’s…with…” His ex-girlfriend. Andy could not bring herself to say her name.
“Andy…” Cassidy leaned forward to pat her shoulder. “You might want to pull over for a minute.”
The traffic behind them had piled up. There were honks and swear words and they could see someone climbing out of the SUV just behind them. He looked angry.
Andy was in shock. She looked up just in time to meet Nate’s eyes. He looked dumbfounded.
Then a large man was at Andy’s window.
“Hey you…” followed by expletives that had Andy rolling the window up and driving quickly away.
“Sorry girls.” Andy apologized, zipping neatly into the flow of traffic once more. They were still moving at a snail’s pace and the man had caught up. He continued to pound on the window. Then his mouth fell open and he stared hard at Andy.
“What?” She shouted at him. “Go away! What the f…I mean, just…go away!”
He gestured to a magazine in his coat pocket and laughed uproariously.
Suddenly, before Andy could do much about it, Caroline had leaned forward, rolled down the window, and snatched the magazine out of the man’s pocket.
Andy shifted quickly and roared forward.
“What did you do that for?” Andy shouted into the rear view mirror. The guy had run back to his car, which was obviously being driven by someone else, and they were now speeding toward them.
“I wanted to see what he was talking about.” She shrugged, opening the magazine. “it’s just naked ladies. Sort of, I mean not totally naked. Hey, Andy, one of them looks like you!”
Andy had one hand on the wheel and the other reached quickly back to steal the magazine away. “It’s not me. What are you girls doing looking at something like this.” A quick glance at the magazine revealed a series of numbers. Bets, it looked like, judging from the ratios and strange names. Beneath the penned numbers, Miss November--a spitting image of Andy herself--looked up. Miss November wore nothing but a pair of La Perla panties. Andy shoved the magazine into her jacket pocket and continued to drive.
By the time they arrived at the Police station, where Lily was being held for a protest she had taken part in that very night, Andy had managed to evade the men in the SUV.
They went inside to get her, but the officer at the front desk ignored them.
“Excuse me, we’re here to get my friend.” Andy said.
The officer continued to ignore them. She wore too much make-up, but was otherwise sort of pretty. Her eyes were almost cat-like. Her hair was red and thick, though it was pulled into an unattractive ponytail. She was also pretty buff.
Which was what caused their second near-disaster of the night.