I Give Up
Really, I give up. This semester has been awful. I've sold my life to my stupid Genetics class and it's not worth it. It's not fun. It's not helpful. It's just stupid and time consuming, making me absolutely miserable. This is the first time I've posted anything on LJ this semester because I never have time to do anything. Ever.
But you know, I could deal with this. It's one semester. I need to take it to be a bio major and I can deal with that. I'm over half way over. Through all the late nights and working on stupid projects until 5 in the morning, and all of that, I have stayed optimistic.
If it was just Genetics I could deal. But now suddenly, ALL of my other classes decide it's time to make Michelle miserable. Enviro math decides it's time for an enormous project. Peace and Security Studies decides to have nearly all of its papers due this part of the semester. And English...well, I never have time to do the reading for that class, so I guess English is ok. Oh and Nanowrimo is this month, which means I'm supposed to be writing 1,667 words every day. But again, this would all be fine. I made a list of everything, so I could plan out when everything was due and manage my time accordingly. I could deal with all of this.
But then today I find out somehow I missed something. A paper I thought was due over a week from now is due this Monday. The syllabus apparently was changed and I didn't know. This means I have basically a day and a half to write a 10 page research paper on a topic I haven't yet chosen. And you know, I could cope with this if I didn't have TWO Genetics projects due this Wednesday on quantitative genetics, which I don't understand and the Handicap Principle, which I know nothing about. Or if my study abroad application was not due this Monday. Or if this application for a really amazing writing/National Geographic opportunity that I have to write a really good 1500 word memoir for and come up with an online photo album of at least 20 high quality photos, wasn't due this Tuesday.
But really, I could deal with this too. Sure, when I found out I had to write a paper tonight/tomorrow instead of doing all the other things I need to do, I was upset, but I headed to the library, optimistic that somehow I could get everything done. So I found a topic, started reading information and made some really good progress. But then, my head started hurting, and my ears clogged up, and I couldn't breathe and I felt nauseous. So I came back to my dorm, hoping some advil and sudafed would make me feel better. But it didn't and instead I collapsed into my bed and fell into a sick induced sleep.
So now I'm sick and hurt everywhere and all I want to do is sleep. And I can't deal with all this stuff feeling as awful as I do. I just...give up.