Nov 21, 2007 23:09
So now I find myself roughly 40 days away from coming back to America. I am about ready to get back at that, not because I am not happy here or that I miss everything back in America but because I feel like my next step in life needs to be taken. Right now I am just coasting through my last part of my internship, broke and have much to do including paying my friend back. The last store, I am glad to have left because after my friend left I literally was left with women who gossip, knit pick and smoke while I worked. Strange but I feel like they were holding something against me because I was not all that sad to see my friend leave, since they were all up in a tizzy about the situation but I was not for I know that I will see him again outside of work! Where I am at now I have independence, work as hard as I want (which is all the time and I shun breaks) and customers here are nicer! I now work four days a week instead of six and the women break police are not hovering above me like buzzards waiting for just the right time to pass before swooping in to pick at me. Breaks at the new store are nice indeed for I take them alone since everyone there smokes and are forced to smoke outside leaving me inside where it is warm, fresh coffee and air while I quietly play Sudoku. I am nice to customers and with my coworkers but I really enjoy my breaks away from people who I feel like I am paid to be around. I hate bullshit and remove assholes, spewing it, with a passion matched by none. Misanthrope shall I be before the game of life is lost.
On another tempo, Sudoku has really captured my interest on those daily train and bus rides to work and on breaks at work. Also I am considering purchasing Harry Potter! *gasp* I know but after lampooning adults for reading Harry Potter because it is young adult literature I must confess that because it is meant for easy comprehension I choose to buy it in German so as to sustain my German abilities after I am long gone from here.
I keep having this reoccurring dream that I just bought a 1998 Ford Mustang Cobra Convertible but days after buying it I popped the hood as the motor was running and noticed that the entire intake was missing and I could look down into the oilsump, see the DOHC chains, valves, rods and plugs. I just remember my astonishment and then realized within my dream that I was dreaming, which is an interesting thing to accomplish, like dreaming in another language.
I think that everyone does believe in something, even if it is a belief against religion. Today as I was walking to the Weihnachtsmarkt (Christmas market) in the Stadtmitte (city center) I ran into a guy who is a Mormon Missionary. Normally I would keep on walking but previously this guy and I have talked about Germany, the people, cultures, religions, the German Language, history and so on and so forth. We shot the shit again today as his other Mormon friends waited. It is cool to meet someone who is similar to my background, education and nationality regardless of the religion we might have. (Note: Mormons send missionaries all over the world spreading Jesus’ Newest Testament in many different languages which is why Salt Lake City, Utah is considered the most diverse city in America when it comes to how many languages are spoken there.)
Hard work. Is that all that it takes? I dare not say so but to a good many this is held as a tenant in their flawed philosophy of success. Success, making a good living or living comfortably requires hard work indeed but just as much brain power in order to guide the labor to reap profits. This is bottom line capitalism and you will not get anywhere in life digging ditches the rest of your life! Or is my logic flawed? What do you think?
Soulmate, is there such a thing. Whether you attribute this idea to Plato in his Symposium or to Hinduism I feel like it is a higher level of belief that goes beyond logic, more like logic projected onto the illogical feelings that we cannot explain. Karma, more idealigical fancy that represents a new idea from the organic move from the definition that the universe is a cycle and a bad deed now will come back to you later to what it means now: the golden rule. While I am beating around the Buddhist bush I want to say that Nirvana means, literally, Three Jewels which I have wondered for some time now if Curt Cobain knew that when naming his three member band Nirvana?
Let me bring this circle back to Germany: Where is the German Culture? Sure I see its history, architecture, language, norms and folkways but I see many cultures that collectively make up Germany. In America we have 1% Muslims and 1% Jews (CIA World Factbook) and 82% whites but here in Germany the minorities make up a vastly large portion of the cultural pie. This also provides ample opportunities for people to point out my ignorance such as I did not know that Muslims had weddings, could not drink alcohol and feel at home herding their women around in concealing clothes in a free society where the contrast is absurd(atleast to me). What is the German culture, is there just one or is it now the summation of all of them separated? Is the same happening in America??? My preconceptions of Germany before coming here was that I expected more white Christians who are integrated into a binding and tangible culture.
It is getting late here, I am currently bitching back and forth with shithead family members via internet which is pegging out my tolerance, desire to write much more and reducing my desire to come back to America.
I might not get the chance to come back to America if my Hertz bill is not paid in full. This is some bullshit in of itself in that I was stranded in Vienna after the plane was over booked and Katura and I could not fly back to Dusseldorf Germany. For some reason they failed to tell me at the service counter when I paid for the auto that for every kilometer past 400 I will pay one euro for which could have come in handy for it was a 1300 kilometer drive back home. Fuck
Goodnight all :)