life fucking is turning for the worst!!!

Mar 17, 2006 22:06

so i fall in love with cinderella my first true love....wrong it wasnt love!, yes it was and thats why it hurts so much...she said that i loved her too much and i pushed her away and she said her mom doesnt think i am the right guy for her...??? what could someone do wrong i didnt hurt her, cheat on her, push her to do anything she didnt want to do!...i loved her...is that too much...i tried so hard and i couldnt please her!!...well life is ruined....while i was moping i wrote this...

Why love?

Why care for someone with all your heart? Put yourself out there, to think someone is loving you and in all reality you are just getting played like a silhouette. Why is the first, second third and so on the hardest…when in reality they are all equal? How come it seems that everyone goes through it…but then why does it hurt so bad, wouldn’t it just get better? Why does everyone want it, and at the same time it always ends in tragedy…with death of the relationship, or your partner…why do you want to care for someone much more than yourself and put the trust out there for one individual, just to HOPE that they don’t demolish it? Why does everyone use the word love but no one understands the meaning? Why, why, why…there is never an answer the smartest people in the world can’t answer it… is it one of the Seven Wonders of the World? These questions I have never asked before, and I will never get and answer to them… I loved someone and never realized I wasn’t being loved back…it hurts but how can someone so sweet and innocent and beautiful hurt someone? Easy, love is the answer to everything!! And it hurts..to love again would be stupid but time heals everything…just a word of advice….don’t put your heart out to soon until you realize they love you for you and not you goodies!

this is just the beginning...it hurts to se her everyday and know that i sucked at life....is it wrong if i want to move on to forget about her...i mean the girl told me that i wasnt good enough bc she didnt want a relationship./...that she couldnt love me back...how long was she playing me??? venting doesnt work...it makes me think about her more...duh...!? i am such a dumbass...

i met this amanda girl last year at prom i thought she was very pretty and then we didnt talk for a long time...then she started talking to me again a few months ago!! she is so cool!!...anyways we are supposed to hang out tomorrow! she has pretty blue eyes and wooh...nvm... she is cool though i want to get to know her alot better before i make any rash decisions...but hopefully all goes well! and i dont get played again and shit like that...it would be nice if i had more friends that i could talk to besides derricka dnethan and the one girl at work...man if she was only younger...but i am on the search for someone spectacular!!..so if anyone knows of some singal girl that wants a fatass white kid who is a senior at lockport high school for three more months give me a call.....!!!! 523-3925...

and for everyone who thinks i am dead...wrong just i was in captivity and the marshen lady let me go...

tomorrow there is a comedian who is going to be at the palace...its ten dollars admission...i hope he's funny i need something funny from someone!!! lol anyways if you read this it means you have too much time on your hands so call me biotch! and we need to hang out you dumbass peice of shit!!! l8er doggs...tears are never ending but happiness ends in tragedy?? hmmm, i could be the next shakespeare!
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