To Tell You I Love You [1/2]
title: to tell you i love you
author: heiryzmylisza
pairing: TegoMass
rating: PG
disclaimer: I don't own them even if i wish...
summary: Massu confesses to Tegoshi... ending undeterminable...
notes: not beta-ed
July 4, 2012
Today was supposed to be a happy day for everyone for it was a celebration of two events. One was Masuda’s 26th birthday and the second one was Tegoshi’s marriage… to Nishikido Ryo. The skies were clear and even the world seems to celebrate along with the said events. It was a wonderful wedding where every loved ones and friends attended. But amidst the festive crowd, one was silently grieving for his dying heart. The birthday boy himself was dying inside…
July 4, 2008
“Happy 22nd Birthday Massu!!!“
“Minna, arigatou!“ thanked a very happy Massu. Today, everyone decided to celebrate his birthday at his apartment. He was very happy because it was seldom to see all the NEWS gathered at his apartment. He was thoroughly grateful too for the extra lengths some had to do just to attend the celebration. Yamapi for example had to cancel his photoshoot, Ryo was even there eventhough Kanjani8 has a guesting somewhere. Shige and Koyama were normally with him but what really made it special was Tegoshi, his beloved Tegoshi was there to celebrate with him.
“Ne, Buta, blow the candles already!” yelled Ryo who was getting impatient already. “Make a wish!” Koyama suggested who was blowing on a small horn. Massu looked at Tegoshi who was sitting across him at the table, smiling, wishing him a happy birthday. He felt the familiar hard thump on his chest everytime he sees this guy. Massu closed his eyes, the image of an extremely happy Tegoshi on his mind.
… I wish to be with him forever …
September 23, 2008
“Ne, Massu, what type of girl do you like?”
Massu and Tegoshi were at one of their usual bonding sessions. They were sitting at a karaoke booth trying to look for a next song to sing when Tegoshi brought up the question. “Why did you suddenly ask that? And you know the answer to that already, any cute girl will do,” Massu replied nonchalantly while flipping through the pages of the song list. “Well, I just thought that you can’t be that vague when it comes to your dream girl right?” Tegoshi replied.
Massu looked at Tegoshi who was drinking his Pepsi but looked up when he felt Massu’s gaze at him. Massu put aside the song list and smiled, “Ne, why are you so serious about this?” “Nothing really, I was just curious.” Massu looked at Tegoshi’s eyes and saw the pure innocence behind it, that innocence that reeled him in, that innocence that made him fall for him.
Massu sighed in defeat and rested his head against the wall, looking at the ceiling before answering with a smile. “I want somebody who can accept me for being me, not for who I am. Someone who can love me with their whole heart. Someone who won’t mind my foolish faults and who can give me courage and never leave my side. Someone whose smiles can take my pain away, someone with a pure heart like the person I love and know…”
“So it means you’ve found the one?”
“Yes, and I’m very grateful to have him in my life,” Massu answered and smiled. He looked at Tegoshi and felt his heartbeat race again.
“Him? Well, whatever, he’s lucky to have you…”
“You think so?”
“I think anybody’s lucky to be loved by you Massu.”
…Well, then will you be happy if you found out it was you?...
November 11, 2008
“Ne, Massu, you love Tegoshi right?”
“What the~ Yamapi!”
“For how long have you loved him?”
“Am I that obvious?”
“Quite… so have you told him yet?”
“Not yet, never had the guts to tell him how I feel,” Massu pouted.
“If your feelings are true and sincere, then there’s nothing to be afraid of. It’s his birthday, I think he deserves to know that you love him. You should tell him how you feel.”
Massu looked at the boy he loved across the room. The room was full of people all celebrating along with the harmlessly, self-centered birthday boy. Comparing him with himself from how he started, Tegoshi did have drastic changes. People adored him now, his star almost outshone them all. The people who cared for him were all there. Arashi was there, KAT-TUN was making a ruckus at one corner, Kanjani8 scattered amongst the crowd. Even the juniors were there, playing at the center of the room and the rest of the NEWS are the noisiest of them all. How could he possibly tell his feelings if almost everyone were here? He just can’t drag Tegoshi out of the room right?
“NE, Yamapi… I don’t think I can possibly do it here tonight…” Massu worriedly told his leader. Inwardly, he thinks his respect for the person grows by the second. He never thought Yamapi could be so passionate about love.
“What about if I distract them? Will that be alright?”
“How will you do that?”
“Okay, listen to my plan,” And so, Yamapi told the plan to a quite anxious Buta. It may be his only chance, and he must try.
“Minna!!! I have an important announcement!”
Every head turned towards the voice. Yamapi was standing on a make-shift platform, a.k.a. the sofa, so he was visible to everyone.
“I read and heard from the news, and mind you, not from the rest of the members of NEWS, but the real news that there will be a meteor shower tonight at 10:15 p.m.! The time’s almost near so please assemble at the balcony to have their wish!” Yamapi said loudly. Almost the moment Yamapi stopped talking, everyone raced towards the balcony to have a good look at the meteor shower.
“Arigatou…” Massu mouthed to Yamapi who was across the room, who gave him his signature thumbs up sign in return before heading out himself.
“Yosh, gambarre Masuda!” Massu told himself as he was carefully making his way to Tegoshi who was left behind.
“Can you imagine these people? I’m the birthday boy here! I’m the one who’s supposed to be making wishes! I’m right ne? Massu?” he smiled at the person approaching him.
Massu smiled in reply then grabbed Tegoshi’s wrist before saying, “C’mon, I know where there is a better view of the skies.” Tegoshi could only smile sweetly as he followed his friend out of the room.
“Uwah~ it’s beautiful up here!” Tegoshi exclaimed. They were at the top of the building they were staying in, exactly 15 floors above the floor they were in moments ago. “I’m sure we’ll have a good view here ne? Massu?” Tegoshi happily said.
“Tegoshi… I have something important to say,” Massu started.
“Hmm? What is it?” Tegoshi asked as he laid his eyes upon Massu who was fidgeting with his shirt. “Is there something wrong?” Worry and concern was evident on Tegoshi’s face, extreme nervousness was evident on the other.
“Well, I don’t really know how to say this but… you’re a very special person to me Tegoshi…”
“Well, you’re special to me too! We’re bestfriends right?” Tegoshi said, plainly missing the whole point.
“Erm, I like you…” Massu tried again to convey his feelings
“Seriously Massu, one would think you’re confessing your love to me! But, I know that already, I like you too! If I don’t like you, I wouldn’t want to be your friend right?” Tegoshi said while looking at the skies above, looking out for any sign of an upcoming meteor shower.
Well, seriously, Massu was thinking of reassessing how dense he thinks this guy could be. His words are not coming out right, he has to make his feeling clear. “Tegoshi… I lo~”
“Massu!!! Quick! Look over there! The meteor shower’s starting!” Tegoshi blurted out, interrupting his confession, tugging at his shirt and pointing to the direction of the meteor shower. Massu looked at the view and it took his breath away. He has never seen anything so beautiful, hundreds of stars are falling from the sky and it made him feel warm inside. “Quick! Close your eyes Massu and make a wish!” Massu saw Tegoshi close his eyes, clasp his hands together and a small smile grace his pretty lips. He was wrong. This view was more beautiful than the meteor shower. Massu smiled, closed his eyes and made his wish.
“Ne, Massu, what did you wish for?”
Massu opened his eyes and saw Tegoshi looking at him intently. “Ne, if I told you, it wouldn’t come true then.” “Oh yeah, right!” Tegoshi laughed at his own mistake. “Gomen ne, Massu!”
Massu smiled at how cute Tegoshi can be. “Ne, happy birthday. Here’s my present,” he said as he handed over a small package to Tegoshi.
“For me? Arigatou Massu!”
Tegoshi opened the small parcel and found a silver bracelet inside. “It’s beautiful Massu, arigatou!” Tegoshi said, his eyes overflowing with happiness. “TegoMass… 11-11-08…” Tegoshi read aloud what he noticed was engraved on the underside of a strip of silver on the bracelet. “You had this custom made?” he inquired.
“Yes… do you like it?” Massu asked as he put on the bracelet on Tegoshi’s dainty wrists.
“Very much! I’ll always treasure this, ne?” Tegoshi happily said as he hugged Massu.
Massu was quite surprised when Tegoshi hugged him but all the same, he was happy. He was happy he was able to share this special moment with him. He was happy he saw the meteor shower with him. He was happy he somehow said what he really felt. He just needs to make it clear with this unbelievably dense boy. And then, out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the final star fall. He smiled as he closed his eyes to feel Tegoshi’s warmth and hugged him in return.
… I wished to never see you cry and to always make you smile that sweet smile of yours Tegoshi…
December 25, 2008
“Merry Christmas!!!”
NEWS was gathered at Yamapi’s house because of all apartments and houses alike, it was obviously the most spacious and lavish of all. “To our hardwork this year, laughter, tears and friendship!” Yamapi said. “Kampai!!!” everyone cheered. Each member gulped down their glasses of beer in one shot.
“Ne, let’s start the exchange gifts!” a very excited Koyama proclaimed as everybody settled down on the living room. “I would like to start first!” volunteered Yamapi. “I give my gift to Kei-chan! Merry Christmas Kei-chan!” Yamapi squealed with delight. “Eh? I picked you too Pi! Hehe, what luck ne?” Koyama replied while exchanging gifts with Yamapi. “I guess that’s the end of the cycle ne?” Yamapi asked. “Who wants to start next?” Koyama asked. “Ne, what about Massu?” Yamapi suggested.
Massu looked at Yamapi, quite annoyed at the smug grin plastered on their leader’s face. Massu hated to admit it but he swapped names with Yamapi when he found out that he picked out Tegoshi on the draw lots. In exchange for the name, he had to give up two weeks of gyoza in his diet. He could clearly remember Yamapi telling him that if making Tegoshi happy for Christmas is really important for him, then 2 weeks of no gyoza is nothing compared to it right? The younger boy agreed and swapped the names with Yamapi, later realizing that he could easily get Tegoshi a gift without a reason since it was Christmas after all. Massu really thinks it was sly for Yamapi to trick him like that, but what the hell, what’s done is done.
“Ne, I picked out Tegoshi,” Massu spoke up as he stood up from the carpeted floor and gave Tegoshi his gift. “Arigatou Massu!” Tegoshi said while smiling brightly and gave Massu a hug. Massu was smiling in delight at their contact when Tegoshi pulled back. He looked at that face he loved so much, the face which was now displaying a smile that could light up the whole world, and thanked God for sending down an angel like him.
“Well, I got Ryo!” Tegoshi revealed as he put Massu’s gift on the table and picked up his own gift for Ryo. The name somehow cracked Mass’s heart as he heard it as he was resuming to his sitting place. Nishikido Ryo, the sexy Osaka man as fans would call him. Pfft, he was a walking stick compared to Massu’s muscular physique! But, seeing Ryo near Tegoshi, he felt jealous. He was not oblivious to the fact that Ryo has a certain liking for his Tegoshi. Wait, since when did he get so possessive? Masuda shook his head in disbelief at his own thoughts.
“Oi, you ok Massu?” Shige concernedly asked. He has been calling Massu for quite a while now but was completely ignored. “Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine!” Massu smiled sheepishly. “Merry Christmas! Here’s my gift by the way,” Shige replied as he gave the gift to Massu. “Arigatou Shige!” he thanked.
“So, I guess that’s it! Let the party begin!” Yamapi announced, he was obviously in high spirits tonight. “YEAH!!!” all agreed as they stood up and danced to the music that Yamapi put up. “Ne, Pi, is it okay if I invite a few people over?” Ryo asked. “Who?” Yamapi asked. “Oh, I don’t know, a few JE members?” Ryo answered with a smile on his face.
“Merry Christmas!!!” KAT-TUN and Kanjani8 greeted together as they barged in through the door. “What the ~ Ryo! I thought you invited a few over!” Yamapi bellowed. “I did! I guess they all got excited and decided to come together!” Ryo answered.
The sight amused Massu. It was rare to see Ryo being scolded by Yamapi. The new comers also decided to forget about their dignity and did things that were too embarrassing to mention. In mere moments, the neat living room turned into a disaster and this angered Yamapi even more. Massu took a look around the room and found Tegoshi laughing beside Ryo who obviously got away from Yamapi who took off chasing down the intruders around the house. Damn it, he’s jealous again. With that, he decided to go out to the garden to cool off.
“Uwah~ it’s a beautiful sight!” Massu exclaimed as he saw Yamapi’s garden. He was not aware that the guy has a green thumb. The garden was certainly a secret haven filled with beautiful flowers of all sorts. He sat at a huge wooden swing nearby which could be occupied by two people. He smiled as he felt a peaceful feeling surround him just by looking at the view while swinging gently. Suddenly, a camera flash went off. “Eh?” Massu turned around to find the culprit, a couple of meters away from him stood Tegoshi holding a camera with a guilty smile.
“Arigatou Massu for the camera,” Tegoshi started. “Yeah, well, you broke your last one right?” Massu replied as he watched Tegoshi walk up to his side and sat at beside him. The moonlight shining upon Tegoshi’s face definitely makes him look more angelic Massu noticed. He was entranced by the sight in front of him. “Hey, are you even listening to me?” Tegoshi pouted as he crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You were saying?” Massu politely asked, amused at the pout on Tegoshi’s face. “I said I’m sorry for taking your picture a while ago but I just wanted to take your picture first using your gift. Besides, I liked the way you smiled a while ago. You look so… serene and sincerely happy,” Tegoshi added the afterthought. Massu blushed at the comment. “I was… entranced by the sight here,” Massu answered as he pointed out the view. “It’s really beautiful, ne?” Tegoshi agreed a she began to take pictures of the garden.
“Massu?” Tegoshi suddenly asked.
“Hmmm?”
“Do you believe that the moon isn’t just a rock out there in the sky but a magical thing that promises a better tomorrow?” Tegoshi asked as he was looking intently on the full moon above them.
“Eh?”
“My mom told me everytime before I go to sleep that the moon is a magical thing that guides us through the night and promises a better tomorrow. Eventhough there may be rough times, the moon still shines at the end of the day and gives you an assurance that everything will be okay tomorrow when you wake up.”
Massu looked at Tegoshi who was looking extremely proud of himself for remembering such a trivial story. He could just imagine the look on the chibi Tegoshi everytime he would see the moon, it would look exactly like how the older version looks right now, full of innocent joy and hopes in his gorgeous eyes. No wonder Tegoshi likes the night time, it is when he gets to see the stars and the moon.
“So what do you think Massu?” Tegoshi asked as he faced Massu.
Massu pondered on the thought, all the while looking at Tegoshi whose eyes looked hopeful. “I think that it makes sense,” Massu finally answered.
The answer seemed to satisfy Tegoshi because his grin grew wider and his eyes started to sparkle. “I knew you would understand!” he stated as he looked back at the moon. Massu followed suit, looking at the moon, appreciating its beauty and imagining what kind of magic it was spreading all around now.
“Ne, Massu, have a picture with me?” Tegoshi asked moments later. “Sure,” Massu agreed as he scooted closer to the boy. “Ready? San, ni, ichi!” Tegoshi signaled. Massu smiled, he wanted to capture this moment forever. “Let’s see… wah! Massu kawaii~ne!” Tegoshi exclaimed. Massu looked at the picture and was satisfied with what he saw. Both he and Tegoshi were smiling and it captured the moment perfectly.
“Ne, Tegoshi… I want to talk to you about something…”
“About what?” Tegoshi asked, facing Massu completely.
“Well, I don’t know how to start this but…” by this time, Massu was a complete nervous wreck. He can’t stop fidgeting but looking at Tegoshi’s chocolate orbs, he got his courage back.
“I know it’s wrong and difficult to understand but I do hope you’ll understand. We’ve known each other for a long time and we’ve been together ever since. You were there when I needed you the most and I was the same for you. I’m ready to get hurt if it means I’ll get to see you happy. But I think it’s time for me to say this. I hope you won’t change after this…” Massu said.
“What is it Massu?” Tegoshi asked. He was obviously nervous too with how Massu said those things.
“Tegoshi… I…”
“Hmmm?”
Massu reached out for Tegoshi’s hand and held it firmly. “Tegoshi… I li~”
“Oi! What are you two doing there?” a slightly annoyed Ryo said from the doorway. “The party’s over here!”
Tegoshi quickly pulled away his hand out of Massu’s grasp at the sight of Ryo. Massu looked at Tegoshi shocked with how he reacted.
“We’re coming!” Tegoshi said looking at Ryo and then Massu. “Ne, let’s go in Massu!” he said with an inviting smile on his lips “Yeah…” Massu could only reply as he watched Tegoshi follow Ryo inside. It was definitely weird how Tegoshi acted when he saw Ryo on the doorway. Was he afraid that Ryo might see them holding hands? Is there something going on between those guys? These were the questions bothering Massu’s mind before looking back at the moon. Remembering Tegoshi’s earlier story, Massu found himself talking to the bright moon which looks like it was spreading magic all over.
… Can you then promise me a brighter tomorrow with Tegoshi?...
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A/N:
so, this is it!!! hope you guys enjoyed it!!!
the ending is still quite a blur to me so i really don't know how to end this yet...
it might or might not be a happy ending regardless of my intro,
comments are VERY much appreciated!!! ^_^
yoroshiku onegaishimasu!!!