(no subject)
For a while now I have been stuck in a dysphoric state of mind. It is terribly uncomfortable and I believe it to be contributing my defeatist mindset. I have even made a comparison that I think is fitting. I looked up the word inspire in the dictionary today and under one of its definitions it says: "to draw in air by inhaling." I take that to be an older definition but does that mean that by ceasing to be inspired you suffocate and fall into poor health? Or even die? What irks me is that is exactly how I feel. Completely void of all things inspiring in the sense that we would normally think of the word. It is as if the life were being sucked right out of me. And just cannot shake it. It feels like I need to run away. I am not myself at all and it is starting to scare me. I must embrace my instincts. I must act out my beliefs. I must have a more radical mindset. I must to create, not just destroy. I must find a passion, a hobby, a talent. I must keep promises to myself. I must stop making excuses. If it is to be it is up to me. Or something like that.