A cry for help...
I want a new career. I want a new career. I want a new career.
Here are my requirements:
So, suggestions anyone? Some of you know me really well, and I need inspiration. I'm tired of fucking Linux computer bullshit. I've been doing this long enough, I need a life. A different one. I'm begging you people. Help me! Do any of you think there is something I might do well at that would come close to meeting these requirements that I am completely unaware of? Keep in mind, I can do anything and learn quickly if I'm interested in a thing. At least, that is what I keep telling myself.
In other news, I believe that I have decided that despite all the signs of impending doom, and the fact that I can't afford it, that I will be happiest and make everyone else the happiest if I still go out to Montana. And I've decided that it would be cruel to the poor Fiat if I did not take her. She needs a vacation as much as I do. However, I am thinking of switching the focus of the trip a bit away from backpacking so much (though may still do some hiking about, don't get me wrong) and make it more of a road trip. I have this wild goal of trying to get the Fiat to San Francisco, even, by way of the PCH. I have always wanted to do this. I can go on a dammned road trip by myself if I want to.
Plus, I remembered that I don't actually have to pay next years taxes until April, and by then there is a good chance I will have won the lottery and the financial thing will just work out.
I had a dream last night that involved train hopping. Not on purpose mind you, but by an odd series of events. I was taking the train from Oakland to Osceola, Indiana (You can actually do this, and it never leaves the one track.), but somehow, I slept through the South Bend stop, and woke up to realize this. Of course, I jumped off the train at the next place it stopped, but then I saw a slow moving train going the other way, just there on the tracks with a flat end car on it, and figured I'd just jump on it and ride back to the missed stop. This worked, and was surprisingly easy, except that it then picked up speed and went right past Osceola. Somehow I figured out that it was headed for West Virginia. This was upsetting, because my mom and Ruth were waiting for me in Indiana and I knew they would get worried, so I called and explained to Ruth. The view was awesome off the back of the train, and passing train conductors were waving at me, though it was very bumpy, and I felt a need to hang on to a section of the car framing at all times for fear of being thrown off.
Not too much later, the doors to the car behind me open, and two ladies in their 60s, and guy of a similar age come out. Seems they decided that riding freight trains would be a much more interesting way to retire than some other options. They were really nice. Then, the train slowed down as we were going through this corn field. We all took the opportunity to jump off the train and went our separate ways. This time, I was trying to get on another train that would actually stop near Osceola. I walked along the tracks to a small station, and luck would have it that a passenger train was just leaving, and I walked right on to it.
There were two black girls sitting with a bunch of empty seats, so I sat down next to one of them, but she glared at me and showed me her ticket, showing that they had booked this entire group of seats. I thought to just go find another seat, but then I said, "Please, can I just sit here a little while, I'll get up when your friends come." To my surprise, her attitude completely changed and she agreed. She told me my name was Toni Fairchild (eg, the name of for the seat holder.)
The conductor did come, and I said I didn't have my copy of the ticket, but that my name was Toni and hoped this was ok. He looked at me suspiciously and said, I think you should come with me. I said, "Ok, but do you mind if I use the toilet first?" The conductor agreed, and I ran off to the bathroom. As luck would have it, as I was heading there, the train was coming to a stop and a rush of people were exiting. I was concerned that he would see me hop off the train, so I fought against the crowd of people toward the rear of the train, hoping I could just quietly get off it and not cause a fuss. At the last car, just as I was about to get off, the train lurched forward again and the door closed. Then I realized it was not the last car, and went through another door and found myself in a very old looking train car that was a lot like a box car.
There were two guys in the box car. One was just sitting there, and the other was sitting in a pile of chalky-white rocks, buried so that only his torso was sticking out, and covered in rock dust. They did not seem to surprise to see me, but did not seem the talkative sorts. I did ask them what kind of car it was, and they answered.
After a bit, a bunch more people started coming into the back car. A lady in her mid-thirties and a few people with her, and some other random guys, all appearing to be doing what I was doing. Then I noticed, the two guys who had been in the car before were gone. I told folks that I could swear these two guys had been there, and it turned out that I had been talking to ghosts that were not unfamiliar to the lady that I mentioned formerly. She seemed to be almost a pro at this sort of thing.
Then, someone from the train showed up. First she scolded the lady for having too many people with her this time, but she said, "No, most of these people are not associated with me at all, it's just coincidence there are so many of us riding today."
Then the train official looked straight at me and said, "Ms. Cunningham, you have been surprisingly difficult to catch up with, and have been doing a really good job. You really should not, however, have booked a real ticket for the beginning 11% of your trip, and then started train hopping, it made it too obvious...." She went on to list off all kinds of personal details about me, said she'd called my mother, and told everyone the inventory of every item in my luggage that was back in Indiana. I wanted to explain that it was not intentional, that I had just missed my stop and was trying to get back, but then I woke up.
The dream was good because I remember riding the train just being so thrilling and also being happy to realize that it was so much easier than I had thought it would have been to do. But it was also frustrating because of so many missed connections, and my lack of ever getting anywhere. I suspect that there really is a meaning in this dream somewhere, or at least that I could take it allegorically.
Last night was nice. Jo and I decided to go do Karaoke at the last minute on *ghasp* as Saturday. It was actually a nice small crowd, and I drew even more. I got a lot of positive re-enforcement from a lot of people last night that was unexpected. I've been down a bit lately, and it is nice to know there are still people out there who will say that you are cool. Shit, I'm going to cry now.
Here are my requirements:
- I must be able to quickly make at least $45,000 CAD a year doing it, or else Jo will have to marry someone else so that we can continue to cover our living expenses.
- I want it to involve traveling. It need not be all of the time, but I demand some amount of traveling to go along with the job. Even if it is only a few times a year.
- I want to still be able to work from home, or for the job to not involve sitting at a desk in an office. I don't mind sitting at a desk if I am working from home, but I refuse to do this in an office, unless my desk includes a sandbox and fingerpaint and this is intrinsically part of my new career.
- I demand that my insanity will actually be an asset in my career, and that I will be able to have my work actually be a creative outlet. Be it writing, playing music, drawing, inventing catchy lingos, or even stranger things. But I want a career that involves creativity.
- I also demand that my habit of many obsessions will actually be an asset in this career. Eg, I switch focus a lot, I will never be an expert at any one thing. I want this to be an asset, rather than a limiting factor.
- Obviously, the career must promise to bring in more than $45,000 a year as I prove my adeptness and skill at said career. I am ok with that to get started, I think I can live on that, even if I don't want to.
- I am ok if the career involves a number of different part-time careers, so long as none of them are overwhelmingly stressful, and they are fun.
- I am willing to move most anywhere within Canada to make this happen, so long as I will be able to afford to go on vacations from that location, or work will have me travel enough that it will not be a big deal.
So, suggestions anyone? Some of you know me really well, and I need inspiration. I'm tired of fucking Linux computer bullshit. I've been doing this long enough, I need a life. A different one. I'm begging you people. Help me! Do any of you think there is something I might do well at that would come close to meeting these requirements that I am completely unaware of? Keep in mind, I can do anything and learn quickly if I'm interested in a thing. At least, that is what I keep telling myself.
In other news, I believe that I have decided that despite all the signs of impending doom, and the fact that I can't afford it, that I will be happiest and make everyone else the happiest if I still go out to Montana. And I've decided that it would be cruel to the poor Fiat if I did not take her. She needs a vacation as much as I do. However, I am thinking of switching the focus of the trip a bit away from backpacking so much (though may still do some hiking about, don't get me wrong) and make it more of a road trip. I have this wild goal of trying to get the Fiat to San Francisco, even, by way of the PCH. I have always wanted to do this. I can go on a dammned road trip by myself if I want to.
Plus, I remembered that I don't actually have to pay next years taxes until April, and by then there is a good chance I will have won the lottery and the financial thing will just work out.
I had a dream last night that involved train hopping. Not on purpose mind you, but by an odd series of events. I was taking the train from Oakland to Osceola, Indiana (You can actually do this, and it never leaves the one track.), but somehow, I slept through the South Bend stop, and woke up to realize this. Of course, I jumped off the train at the next place it stopped, but then I saw a slow moving train going the other way, just there on the tracks with a flat end car on it, and figured I'd just jump on it and ride back to the missed stop. This worked, and was surprisingly easy, except that it then picked up speed and went right past Osceola. Somehow I figured out that it was headed for West Virginia. This was upsetting, because my mom and Ruth were waiting for me in Indiana and I knew they would get worried, so I called and explained to Ruth. The view was awesome off the back of the train, and passing train conductors were waving at me, though it was very bumpy, and I felt a need to hang on to a section of the car framing at all times for fear of being thrown off.
Not too much later, the doors to the car behind me open, and two ladies in their 60s, and guy of a similar age come out. Seems they decided that riding freight trains would be a much more interesting way to retire than some other options. They were really nice. Then, the train slowed down as we were going through this corn field. We all took the opportunity to jump off the train and went our separate ways. This time, I was trying to get on another train that would actually stop near Osceola. I walked along the tracks to a small station, and luck would have it that a passenger train was just leaving, and I walked right on to it.
There were two black girls sitting with a bunch of empty seats, so I sat down next to one of them, but she glared at me and showed me her ticket, showing that they had booked this entire group of seats. I thought to just go find another seat, but then I said, "Please, can I just sit here a little while, I'll get up when your friends come." To my surprise, her attitude completely changed and she agreed. She told me my name was Toni Fairchild (eg, the name of for the seat holder.)
The conductor did come, and I said I didn't have my copy of the ticket, but that my name was Toni and hoped this was ok. He looked at me suspiciously and said, I think you should come with me. I said, "Ok, but do you mind if I use the toilet first?" The conductor agreed, and I ran off to the bathroom. As luck would have it, as I was heading there, the train was coming to a stop and a rush of people were exiting. I was concerned that he would see me hop off the train, so I fought against the crowd of people toward the rear of the train, hoping I could just quietly get off it and not cause a fuss. At the last car, just as I was about to get off, the train lurched forward again and the door closed. Then I realized it was not the last car, and went through another door and found myself in a very old looking train car that was a lot like a box car.
There were two guys in the box car. One was just sitting there, and the other was sitting in a pile of chalky-white rocks, buried so that only his torso was sticking out, and covered in rock dust. They did not seem to surprise to see me, but did not seem the talkative sorts. I did ask them what kind of car it was, and they answered.
After a bit, a bunch more people started coming into the back car. A lady in her mid-thirties and a few people with her, and some other random guys, all appearing to be doing what I was doing. Then I noticed, the two guys who had been in the car before were gone. I told folks that I could swear these two guys had been there, and it turned out that I had been talking to ghosts that were not unfamiliar to the lady that I mentioned formerly. She seemed to be almost a pro at this sort of thing.
Then, someone from the train showed up. First she scolded the lady for having too many people with her this time, but she said, "No, most of these people are not associated with me at all, it's just coincidence there are so many of us riding today."
Then the train official looked straight at me and said, "Ms. Cunningham, you have been surprisingly difficult to catch up with, and have been doing a really good job. You really should not, however, have booked a real ticket for the beginning 11% of your trip, and then started train hopping, it made it too obvious...." She went on to list off all kinds of personal details about me, said she'd called my mother, and told everyone the inventory of every item in my luggage that was back in Indiana. I wanted to explain that it was not intentional, that I had just missed my stop and was trying to get back, but then I woke up.
The dream was good because I remember riding the train just being so thrilling and also being happy to realize that it was so much easier than I had thought it would have been to do. But it was also frustrating because of so many missed connections, and my lack of ever getting anywhere. I suspect that there really is a meaning in this dream somewhere, or at least that I could take it allegorically.
Last night was nice. Jo and I decided to go do Karaoke at the last minute on *ghasp* as Saturday. It was actually a nice small crowd, and I drew even more. I got a lot of positive re-enforcement from a lot of people last night that was unexpected. I've been down a bit lately, and it is nice to know there are still people out there who will say that you are cool. Shit, I'm going to cry now.