suicide
You know, it's kinda interesting, the reactions I get when I talk to people about Robbie's suicide. Every punk I've talked to about it, whether they knew him or not, reacts with something along the lines of "I'm sorry, that sucks. How'd he do it? Are his friends okay?" that sort of thing. When I talk to people who aren't punks, they all ask, "What was wrong with him? Why'd he do that? Suicide is such a wrong thing to do, etc." It's only non-punks who ask those questions. "Why?" "What was wrong with him?" It didn't even occur to me, nor any of the punks I talked to, to ask those questions.
I dunno. It seems like the punks I know have more of the mindset that when suicide happens, it's not about what's wrong with the person so much as it's about what's wrong with the world. When we heard about it, we just kinda already undstood. I don't mean to say that we automatically knew what all was going through his head, or anything like that. That would be presumptuous. But I think we kinda had a general understanding. Maybe it's because we all have a lot in common. Maybe it's because we're all pessimists. Maybe it's because we all focus so much on the greed and hate that is ubiquitous in our culture (which is reflected in our fashion, music, ethics, etc.) Maybe it's because none of us sees much of a future for any of us. Maybe it's because we're all suicidal in some way. Fuck it, I guess we just look at some things differently than most.
I hung out with Jeff the other night. He's doing well, considering, and is coping with what happend okay. He told me about finding Robbie, what happened, what he looked like, how he reacted, and everything like that. He said he's having a hard time getting the image of Robbie's face that day out of his mind. He said he regrets paniking and jumping out the window instead of cutting his friend down. He was staying with Robbie and Jillian, so is couch surfing now, and needs a place to live. Jillian has been staying with her family, and no one's heard much from her. I guess we'll all see her tomorrow, though.
The funeral is tomorrow. It's gonna be kinda weird. His family is rich, and from what I hear, not too keen on punk rockers. And there'll be a lot of us there. I hope everything goes okay.
I dunno. It seems like the punks I know have more of the mindset that when suicide happens, it's not about what's wrong with the person so much as it's about what's wrong with the world. When we heard about it, we just kinda already undstood. I don't mean to say that we automatically knew what all was going through his head, or anything like that. That would be presumptuous. But I think we kinda had a general understanding. Maybe it's because we all have a lot in common. Maybe it's because we're all pessimists. Maybe it's because we all focus so much on the greed and hate that is ubiquitous in our culture (which is reflected in our fashion, music, ethics, etc.) Maybe it's because none of us sees much of a future for any of us. Maybe it's because we're all suicidal in some way. Fuck it, I guess we just look at some things differently than most.
I hung out with Jeff the other night. He's doing well, considering, and is coping with what happend okay. He told me about finding Robbie, what happened, what he looked like, how he reacted, and everything like that. He said he's having a hard time getting the image of Robbie's face that day out of his mind. He said he regrets paniking and jumping out the window instead of cutting his friend down. He was staying with Robbie and Jillian, so is couch surfing now, and needs a place to live. Jillian has been staying with her family, and no one's heard much from her. I guess we'll all see her tomorrow, though.
The funeral is tomorrow. It's gonna be kinda weird. His family is rich, and from what I hear, not too keen on punk rockers. And there'll be a lot of us there. I hope everything goes okay.