it is as big as you make it
Someone from your distant past comes along and brings a storm of emotions upon you, and now you are drowning. I'm torn, I'm not sure whether or not I want to live in America anymore... sure it's easier here, surely I can have a comfy life with a somewhat steady income, but at what cost? Anyway, i'll stay here for at least one more year and then go and see if i can find a job there.