Nice Guy?
A LJ friend made a post that linked to this.
It's all about the problems with "Nice Guys". It might be a good wake-up call to guys who think "that they are nice guys, and that they're single because girls go for jerks". I don't like it all that much, though; it's kinda specific towards extremely non-specific occurances. People in general are like that.. make a few minor variations and it applies to women too. Heck, in the animal kingdom, certain pack animals (wolves, gorillas, lions, etc.) have an alpha; the animal that has the least social status in the pack is the one that sucks up to the alpha most. Feelings of insecurities and clinginess are survival tactics that we've all employed at one moment or another. Of course, when it fails it's time to try a new tactic... but some people don't learn very well.
In every lie/exaggeration/prejudice there is an aspect of truth, however small. When guys say that "girls always go for the jerks", I wouldn't call it bullshit... it's more of a half-truth. I've witnessed a few situations -not involving me- where it's been apt. The way I see it, most any guy who's trying to get into a girl's pants is going to behave like a nice guy to her, whether or not they really are so... so how can she tell the difference? Why not go for the more confident guy then. It's not even that simple either.
I have this friend; I've been friends with her for 4-5 years, and I had a good crush on her for the initial parts of that. She's never been interested in me though. Instead, she went for this other guy. He's a likable guy, everyone likes 'em, me included. It's easy to overlook that he is actually a bit of a jerk. The "He's a nice guy, but..." comes up a lot about him. So yeah.. he led her on and then decided he had enough and just started to avoid her. They had never even got to the point of being a couple... he's just screwed up or something. For the first while after that, she'd tell me "He's a nice guy, but he's a dink." Now she pretty well accepts that he's a jerk. The fact that I'm still hangin' around, her friend, kinda seems like it's proven to her that I'm a genuine nice guy. It's proof to myself as well.
I guess what it comes down to is that when a genuine good guy plays the relationships game, they play fair, play honest, and are a good sport regardless of whether they win or lose. And in the end, good guys are great in bed... because they always finish last! =P
"Hey! You can't park your van on the diving board!! Wait, that's not a van. That's just a fat kid."
LOOK!! IT'S PETER GRIFFIN!"
It's all about the problems with "Nice Guys". It might be a good wake-up call to guys who think "that they are nice guys, and that they're single because girls go for jerks". I don't like it all that much, though; it's kinda specific towards extremely non-specific occurances. People in general are like that.. make a few minor variations and it applies to women too. Heck, in the animal kingdom, certain pack animals (wolves, gorillas, lions, etc.) have an alpha; the animal that has the least social status in the pack is the one that sucks up to the alpha most. Feelings of insecurities and clinginess are survival tactics that we've all employed at one moment or another. Of course, when it fails it's time to try a new tactic... but some people don't learn very well.
In every lie/exaggeration/prejudice there is an aspect of truth, however small. When guys say that "girls always go for the jerks", I wouldn't call it bullshit... it's more of a half-truth. I've witnessed a few situations -not involving me- where it's been apt. The way I see it, most any guy who's trying to get into a girl's pants is going to behave like a nice guy to her, whether or not they really are so... so how can she tell the difference? Why not go for the more confident guy then. It's not even that simple either.
I have this friend; I've been friends with her for 4-5 years, and I had a good crush on her for the initial parts of that. She's never been interested in me though. Instead, she went for this other guy. He's a likable guy, everyone likes 'em, me included. It's easy to overlook that he is actually a bit of a jerk. The "He's a nice guy, but..." comes up a lot about him. So yeah.. he led her on and then decided he had enough and just started to avoid her. They had never even got to the point of being a couple... he's just screwed up or something. For the first while after that, she'd tell me "He's a nice guy, but he's a dink." Now she pretty well accepts that he's a jerk. The fact that I'm still hangin' around, her friend, kinda seems like it's proven to her that I'm a genuine nice guy. It's proof to myself as well.
I guess what it comes down to is that when a genuine good guy plays the relationships game, they play fair, play honest, and are a good sport regardless of whether they win or lose. And in the end, good guys are great in bed... because they always finish last! =P
"Hey! You can't park your van on the diving board!! Wait, that's not a van. That's just a fat kid."
LOOK!! IT'S PETER GRIFFIN!"