Help me hold on, for I'm swingin on the last thread...
So here I am. I talked to Annette today (yesterday) for a good bit. That was nice. She'll be picking me up from Anchorage in about 4 days. Things have been shitty the past few days. The family is being psychotic and trying to tell me I'm never allowed to go to Mt. Pleasant ever again. Now that's a joke. Nothing will ever keep me from my hometown. Helltown, USA. So it's been nothing but fights with the whole family and Cori. She makes no effort to spend time with me. We went off on each other the other night. That was interesting. All right in front of my family. She was a sweetheart and rescued me from my psychotic family late last night though. I greatly appreciated that. I was home alone all day today. The family went to West Virginia. I prefered to stay home to keep peace. I can't stand their bullshit anymore. Got a phone call from Charity yesterday. She's sick and fainting. Not good. Made me half nuts thinking about it all day. I hope she's guna be okay.
So we celebrated my grandparents surprise 50th wedding anniversary party yesterday at the Crystal Ballroom. Turned out nice. Alot of friends and family were there. I got absolutely no alone time. I didn't get any chances to rest my lips. I was talking and catching up with numerous relatives and people I didn't even recognize. I don't even know if I actually knew half of them. They seemed excited to see and speak with me, so I just held friendly conversations, pretending to remember them. Heh.
So I haven't been sleeping or eating much at all since I've been here. Don't know why? I'm kinda depressed, but I don't exactly know the reason for that either? Multiple things added up, I'm guessing? I know I miss Charity. Wasn't exactly prepared to miss someone so much, knowing that I'll see her in only a short 2 weeks. Knowing that she's sick and miserable doesn't help any. Makes me want to jump on the next flight to take care of her. Another thing is definitely the fact that nothing was what I expected it to be. My friends led me on to think that things would be the exact same as the old days, and it was far from the same. I barely got to do anything I wanted to do on this trip. It's just been miserable. Definitely wasn't prepared or ready for it. My biggest fears; change and loss. On top of all that, I had a good long talk with Cori at Eat & Park. We talked alot about our time away from each other and what we did, etc... I reflected on the past. Been dwelling on it ever since. If you know me well enough, you know where I'm going with this. I will say no more.
I'm an idiot.
Until next time....