Double Take 3/?
Title: Double Take 3/?
Author: Maggsie! (me)
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Emily/JJ
Rating: 15
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own any of the characters
AN: Thank you for all your amazing feedback!
AN2: I want to thank Darkbard0 being a kick ass beta and being my inspiration.
Summary: It's been 14 months and the unbreakable Jennifer Jareau is hellbent on self-destruction. Who will catch her when she falls?
X X X
The harsh, early morning sunlight filtered through the gap in the curtains, hitting Jennifer Jareau directly in the face. Slowly opening her eyes, JJ blinked against the light before slamming them shut again. Rolling on to her other side, the blonde opened her eyes again but this time kept them open. She brought her hand to her head, trying to make the pounding that was resonating there to go away. She had never felt anything like it; it felt like there was a drill inside of her head, slowly digging in to her brain. Why did drinking always seem like a good idea at the time?
Frowning slightly, she struggled to remember back to the night before. What exactly had she done? She remembered making an idiot of herself at work, and then going to a bar after. She even remembered hooking up with a woman but for the life of her everything after that was a blur. And she guessed by the empty space next to her in the bed, that the woman in question had not come back to her place. So what on earth had happened? Usually she would never turn down the chance of having sex, so something must have thrown her right off.
Kicking the bed sheets off of her, JJ cringed when she saw that she was still in the same clothes from the day before. God, she must have been bad. As she slowly sat up, aware of her head, something suddenly hit her. JJ remembered there was something about Emily that she was supposed to remember, something that had happened. But then again when she was at her most down like she had been last night, it tended to lead to her dreaming about her late wife. That's what she put it down to, that and the alcohol.
Slipping out of bed, she padded across her bedroom to the chest of drawers which still had Emily's clothes in it. Everything of the brunette's had been left the way it was when she died. JJ couldn't bring herself to get rid of any of it, it would mean that she was finally accepting that Emily wasn't coming back, and she just wasn't ready to do that. Everyone had told her that it would help her move on, but she didn't want to move on. And until the team and her family experienced something like she had, she wasn't willing to listen.
Stripping off, she slipped in to the on-suite bathroom to take a quick shower. She let the water cascade over her, washing away the dirt and everything that came with it from the night before. Just for a second she was able to clear her head, to forget everything that had happened. But that was all it was, a second. And then it all came crashing down around her again. This is what happened every single day, it was just a vicious circle that repeated itself over and over again until JJ couldn't take anymore and she needed to escape. Escape from reality. And she had found it, through alcohol and sex. The blonde didn't like it, she didn't like the fact that she needed those things, but it was her own way of dealing with things.
Stepping out of the shower, she walked back in to her bedroom, slipping on some comfy clothes that she was able to lounge about in during the day. Running a towel through her hair, she felt fresher and ready to take on the day.
Padding out to the kitchen, she reached up to a cabinet, grabbing some painkillers, before picking up a glass and filling it with water. Throwing her head back, she felt the tablets slip down her throat and with the water still in her hand she headed for her son's room. Glancing at the clock as she passed it, she saw that it was almost 11 and he was usually awake by now.
Before Emily had died, every morning that they had been home from a case, Henry would come in to their room and bounced on them until they had gotten out of bed. But since then, he would just stay in his bedroom amusing himself until JJ came and got him. The blonde wasn't entirely sure why it had changed, well she did, she just didn't want to admit it out loud. She had neglected him, hadn't been there as much as she should have been, and now he didn't even feel like he could come in her room anymore.
Silently cursing herself, she paused at his door when she couldn't hear anything from the other side. Usually she could hear cartoons playing on the little TV that he had because he played it so loud, but all she was met with was silence, and it worried her.
Quietly opening the door, she peeked in but she couldn't believe what she was seeing. This had to be a dream, right? What she was seeing in front of her couldn't possibly be real. In the shock, JJ had dropped her glass of water on to the floor, the glass shattering into tiny pieces. And with the noise it had made, it had managed to wake up both of them. As JJ stood there in shock, Emily slowly started to sit up, not wanting to loosen her grip on Henry, in fear of him running away from her.
The little boy also started to sit up, rubbing his eyes with his arm as he woke up; trying to see what had woke him. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looked up at his Mom who was just staring at something behind him. And then suddenly it hit him, and he couldn't contain his excitement.
"Mommy, Mommy, look whose back! Mom's back! You were wrong, she did come back!"
Henry jumped off his bed, running towards his blonde Mom, wrapping his arms around her legs. His smile that was spread across his face was contagious, and Emily couldn't help it when a small smile appeared on her own face. JJ on the other hand, was still stood there in shock, and didn't even acknowledge Henry when his arms wrapped around her. Getting no response from her, he ran back to his bed, jumping up and straight in to Emily's arms. He couldn't help but laugh when the brunette wrapped her own arms around him, kissing him all over his face.
The little boys laughing pulled JJ out of the trance she had been in, and that's when she felt the anger inside her start to rise. The hurt and devastation she had felt when she thought Emily had died also rose with it, and she felt herself with conflicted feelings. On one hand she wanted to go over to the other woman and hold on to her and never let go because she was alive right in front of her. On the other hand she wanted to cry and scream at the brunette for leaving them. But the thing that overrode both of those was confusion.
"What...? I mean how...where...why?"
JJ stuttered out, not entirely sure what she wanted to say. She wanted to pinch herself to see whether she was still dreaming or not. Or maybe she had dreamt Emily had died.
Emily on the other hand slowly extradited herself from Henry's grasp, leaving him sitting on the bed as she stood up and slowly walked towards JJ. She stopped though when she saw that every time she did, the blonde would step further back.
"I know you're confused right now, and you must have a lot of questions and I promise I will explain everything to you. We have a lot to talk about."
The press liaison suddenly felt the anger rise up again inside of her.
"Talk? You want to talk? No, I don't want to talk. You didn't want to talk before and I don't want to talk now."
The brunette recoiled when she heard the force of anger laced in JJ's tone. She deserved that, she knew she did but she hadn't made herself prepared for it. She wasn't sure what she had been expecting, but when she had heard from Hotch about how JJ had been, she had just left everything behind. She hadn't let anyone know, she had just left her new life behind for her old life. Emily had missed JJ so much, and seeing her right now in front of her, took her breath away. How could she of given all of this up? But she had to, for their own safety, which was her number one priority.
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry; we'll talk when you're ready. It's just I've missed you so much and-"
"Don't."
JJ interrupted, not wanting to hear any more from Emily. She didn't want to hear how much she had missed her, and if she was honest she felt the same but she didn't want to give Emily the pleasure of hearing that. She didn't want to hear any of the brunette's explanations, not just yet. She wasn't ready for that. First of she had to get her head around the fact that Emily was still alive.
"I want you to go Emily."
"What? Why?"
"Because I'm not ready to deal with this right now. So just go, please."
The blonde could hear her voice cracking, and she really wanted Emily to go before she broke down. But when she felt the door behind her open, she let a tear roll down her cheek as her Mom entered the room. She watched as she spotted Emily, and if it was in any other circumstance she would have laughed at the face that her Mom made, but now wasn't that time.
"Hi Alison."
Emily whispered. Alison and the brunette had always had a special relationship, and JJ had always been pleased about that. How many people got on with their in-laws? The blonde watched as her Mom wiped the tears away before she stepped forward and wrapped Emily in her arms. The press liaison couldn't watch as her ex-wife started crying in to her Mom's shoulder and JJ turned away. Looking at Henry, she beckoned him over, and she picked him up and placed him on her hip. He was getting a little big to be carried but right then, she needed the comfort he brought.
Pulling back, Alison wiped Emily's tears off her cheeks before turning to her daughter. This time, JJ couldn't help but cry at the scene that had just transpired in front of her. Her Mom was just as quick at wrapping her daughter in her arms. Henry was in the middle of them, not entirely sure what was going on, and the expression on his face, almost wanted to make Emily cry again.
"I think you should go, Em. Come back later."
Alison whispered, and Emily nodded, thankful for the opportunity to come back later. Grabbing her stuff, she smiled at her ex mother in law, before placing a kiss on the temple of her son. He tried to reach out for her, but she just smiled at him and JJ didn't even turn to look at her as she kept herself buried in her Mom's shoulder. And as she walked out of the door, the sound of JJ sobbing was the last thing she heard.
x x x
Emily wasn't entirely sure where she was supposed to go. Theoretically, she was still supposed to be in witness protection, and standing on the sidewalk outside of the house she used to live in wasn't the best idea she had ever had. Looking up and down the quiet street, she took note that there was nobody about before she jumped in to her car.
Pulling out of the drive, she decided to drive around, to explore the city that she had been away from for about 14 months. She passed all the joints that she used to go to, all the restaurants she used to take JJ, and as she passed them she felt a sense of nausea rise up inside her. She couldn't believe how much she had missed the place.
For the past year she had been living as 'Regina,' a married woman who lived in Boston. For the past year she had the job as a trainee solicitor, and she hated it. She had to pretend she was enjoying it just to keep the job and earn some money. She hated to pretend to be with a man she hardly knew anything about. He worked for the witness protection programme and he was assigned as her handler. She had been known as Regina Murray, wife and solicitor. But all she had wanted to be was Emily Prentiss, wife, mother, friend and profiler.
She didn't know how long she had been driving for before she pulled into Morgan's place. Emily didn't even know how she had ended up there.
Stepping out of her car, she slowly walked to the door, not sure of the reaction she was going to get this time. She was kind of hoping it would go better than it had done with JJ. Morgan was her best friend, the guy that she was able to go to when things were going wrong or she needed someone to talk to. He had helped her gain the confidence to ask JJ out when they had first started dating. He had been the one to help build her confidence up when she had questioned whether she was good enough for JJ. And now 6 years later, he was the one to thank for everything good that had happened in her life. Emily wished that she had been able to tell Morgan when she had gone in to witness protection, but there hadn't been enough time, and every day she had regretted that. Almost as much as she regretted going in to it in the first place.
Knocking gently, it was only a few seconds before she heard noise on the other side of the door. As the door opened, she held her breath. He just stood there for a few minutes staring at her with wide eyes, not quite believing what he was seeing. Morgan blinked, just to check that he was in fact seeing Emily standing there right in front of him.
"Prentiss?"
He asked, and all Emily had to do was nod before she was engulfed in to a hug.
"Yeah, it's me. I'm so sorry."
She whispered in his ear, and he hugged her tighter. She didn't even know how she was going to start explaining everything that had happened. As he pulled back, he brought his hands up to her cheeks, just looking in to her eyes for a few minutes. They stood there like that, before Emily leaned forward and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"Come in girl, come in."
Morgan beckoned, and the brunette followed him in to the house, walking in to the living room and taking a seat on the couch. The profiler took a seat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him. They sat there in silence, before Morgan placed a kiss on the top of her head.
"So you going to tell me what's been going on?"
Emily took a deep breath, taking in the comfort of him being next to her.
"Okay, where do I start?"
"Start from the beginning."
"Okay. About a year and a half ago, I witnessed a murder and I was called to stand trial. Anyway, he employed some people, and they started to threaten me. They would write letters, and they would threaten to hurt JJ and Henry. I didn't know what to do, but then I was shot. That changed everything for me; I knew what I had to do. I was placed in to witness protection, and I let JJ and Henry continue on with their own lives without the threat hanging over them-."
Before Emily could continue, a knock interrupted them and the brunette turned to face Morgan who suddenly had an apologetic look on his face.
"I kind of had plans with Baby girl..."
Morgan broke off, and Emily couldn't help but cringe. Garcia was JJ's best friend; therefore she wasn't entirely sure of the reaction she was going to get, whether it was going to be good or bad.
"Do you mind if I get the door?"
The brunette asked, and Morgan smiled at her before shaking his head. Standing up, she walked over to the door, bracing herself before she answered it. Opening the door she was met with a few seconds of silence before a scream almost burst her eardrums. Suddenly she found herself struggling to breathe as one perky technical analyst engulfed her in a very tight hug.
"Hey Garcia."
Emily said. Still holding the brunette in her arms, Garcia pulled back looking the former profiler in the eye before hitting her on the arm. Emily let out a chuckle which almost sounded like a sob as the tears fell once more. All Garcia she could see was despair at the hurt that had been caused in Emily's eyes, and Garcia couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Whatever she had gone through, the quirky blonde knew it had been for JJ and their son. Garcia grabbed Emily's hand, pulling her over to the couch before placing her between herself and Morgan.
"Before we start talking about me, I need to ask you guys something."
Emily explained, looking between her two friends. Both of them had one of her hands, and she squeezed them both softly. At their nods, the brunette continued.
"What happened to the woman I loved? Where has the sparkle gone?"
Garcia had to take a huge gulp to stop the tears that she knew were about to fall. Not only at having the woman back in their lives, but also the impact it was going to have on JJ.
"That's easy Em, she lost you."