we knew it'd happen eventually..

[heidibrown]

If the weather keeps up, I won't be able to see Chris.  Obviously if that happens, I'm going to be sad and stuff, but I'm more nervous than anything.  It's hard enough with the distance, alone.  But things like this that prevent us from seeing each other fuck sucks soo much.  I know he's said that it doesn't matter, and that he wouldn't just leave me for someone closer or whatever.. but, I can't stop worrying.  I would never expect him to stay with me through a relationship where we only see each other, rarely, and shit like this interferes.  And, I obviously can't control his feelings, whether or not that means that he loses them, or feels something for someone else.

And, I know my worrying probably pisses him off.  Which will also be a good fucking way to push him away .. as it's done with everyone.  But, I can't help it.

I just hope I can see him.  More importantly, I hope I don't fuck this up.  I know it's inevitably, I'm the fucking champ at ruining everything..but I hope, just this once, it fucking works.  That's all I want.