I'll be...
Okay.
I'm playing the soundtrack from My Best Friend's Wedding tonight and every song title and some of the lyrics are making me think of smidges of Heroes in the weirdest ways. I may end up doing a vid to "I'll Be Okay" (lyrics below) at some point - meta and those wonderful commentaries from S1 and S2, and the way Fuller did wonderful things and left and came back and reversed wonderful things that were in the pipeline and made them somehow worse than they would've been otherwise, and the wonderful cast members - Kristen and Brea and Dana Davis - who came and went, and the wonderful characters and powers and bits of string taped to maps and FORGIVE ME written in a closet and Claude, and Zach who was clearly the first example of the story and character going in one direction that was then changed inexplicably and we'll probably never know the real reason as to why.
Even when the plots were going weird and the characters made no sense from one episode to another and when there's no reason why they kept Sendhil around this season and wouldn't let him go be BFFs with David Tennant on "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer", I've watched, although the three episodes after Nathan this winter? I waited a few weeks to watch them, and it took last week and this week to recommit me fully.
As mystery_sock said earlier today - if it's the last episode ever, then it is.
Heroes started in September of 2006 - those of you who were on my flist then may remember that it debuted in what turned out to be the worst ten weeks of my life. My sister's husband died suddenly, then a cousin of Aaron's did as well, my daughter had her first asthma attack and ended up on steroids and in the middle of all of this, fandom had become decidedly not fun, or even pleasant, and I was completely and utterly heartbroken over it.
And this show came along. I'd heard a little about it but I mostly watched because my comic-book-loving husband wanted to, and it was on before the debut of Studio 60, which we all knew back in 2006 was going to be *the* hit of the season and of fannishness, I mean it was SORKIN.
But at nine o'clock there was a gorgeous voice with a lovely accent and then we saw Peter (oh, Milo, you've aged well but you are so much older now, only four years on) on that building in New York - the city I love so much - and he was flying and then he wasn't and after tonight the perfection of that moment still makes me gasp.
So I watched, and I fell a little in love with the show that night. And a little more every week, and by the end of the season I could hardly wait for S2. And I watched that, shortened as it was, and I started vidding and it was all about Nathan and Peter for me, except when it was about Gabriel and Peter - the twins-that-weren't-but-could-have-been-except-they-are-better-as-boyfriends-even-Eli-agrees. So many of you stopped watching, and every time I saw someone stop, I understood why - but I haven't stopped. Heroes is the first multi-season show that I've seen from the first episode - the first ever. Friends? I stopped watching somewhere in 2000 or 2001. Lois & Clark, the end of the Wedding Season. West Wing, I missed most of S6 and a lot of S7 and even those I mostly saw in catch-up sprees on DVDs. I didn't watch Buffy until S3 or 4, even with the new Doctor Who I didn't start until Dalek. Torchwood, I couldn't bear CoE so I've seen nothing of episodes 3, 4 or 5. I didn't start Supernatural until halfway the middle of S2.
But Heroes? If this is the end, then I've been with it from start to finish.
It ended perfectly, with Claire jumping in a way that is so remniscient of not only her swan dives in S1, but also the iconic first scene, with Peter on the building, then jumping. If only they had thought to film it in a manner that modeled both sets of images, instead of only Claire's.
I still don't fucking understand why they killed off Nathan permanently. Not even the wonderful conclusion of Charlie's storyline (beautifully done!) explains anything about why somehow Peter couldn't travel back in time and rescue Nathan without stepping on any butterflies. Yes, it would take a lot of doing - and organization, which is, to be frank, not Peter's strong suit, but between Hiro and Noah and Gabriel they could have figured out a way to bring Nathan forward.
The only explanation I could theoretically accept would be that it wasn't just because of Sylar's characterization, but because Claire would never have done that leap if Senator Petrelli was still alive, because of the potential risk to him. And that's bullshit because I can think of thirteen reasons why she would.
Maybe that's one of the problems with Heroes - that the fans could think of more and better explanations for something than the writers. And there are many other shows that have rubbed near to similar issues - in Supernatural all the cracked out and sensible concepts and plots and theorizing have all been done in fanfic, too, but the show still manages to be glorious and surprising in the details of those plots, and the twists and turns they bring.
Maybe the networks should just never greenlight a multi-year plotline without having a multi-year outline.
Will the next season have more partnerships between Gabriel and Peter? Will more of them involve sledgehammers? Will Peter fully trust Gabriel, or will they just shag a lot? Will Monica and Micah ever come back? What about Molly? She would've been of some use in finding Noah and Claire, that's for sure! (And what was up with Noah passing out but not really? It was dramatic when he did go unconscious, but it shouldn't've been so easy to revive him that quickly. Does an infusion of water bring more oxygen in the form of humidity into a space?)
How will Angela react to Gabriel and Peter's newfound romance BFF-ish-ness? Wasn't Doyle an adorable present for Gabriel to give his paramour?
Unlike seasons past, given the uncertainty of another season, this was very un-cliff-hanger-y, so I'm not really trying to predict or theorize about where things will go from here. It's been a lovely run and there are some fantastic moments of this show that I will cherish forever.
As I said above...
I'll Be Okay (slightly tweaked)
It's time to let you go, it's time to say goodbye
No more excuses, no more tears to cry
There's been so many changes, I was so confused
All along you were the one. All the time I never knew.
But its so hard to let you go now, all that could have been
I'll always have the memories; he'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing just when you don't want it to.
I won't give up... I won't give in...
I can't re-create what just might have been,
Can't go on forever, baby, I can't go on forever, baby...
I'll be OK.
I'm playing the soundtrack from My Best Friend's Wedding tonight and every song title and some of the lyrics are making me think of smidges of Heroes in the weirdest ways. I may end up doing a vid to "I'll Be Okay" (lyrics below) at some point - meta and those wonderful commentaries from S1 and S2, and the way Fuller did wonderful things and left and came back and reversed wonderful things that were in the pipeline and made them somehow worse than they would've been otherwise, and the wonderful cast members - Kristen and Brea and Dana Davis - who came and went, and the wonderful characters and powers and bits of string taped to maps and FORGIVE ME written in a closet and Claude, and Zach who was clearly the first example of the story and character going in one direction that was then changed inexplicably and we'll probably never know the real reason as to why.
Even when the plots were going weird and the characters made no sense from one episode to another and when there's no reason why they kept Sendhil around this season and wouldn't let him go be BFFs with David Tennant on "Rex Is Not Your Lawyer", I've watched, although the three episodes after Nathan this winter? I waited a few weeks to watch them, and it took last week and this week to recommit me fully.
As mystery_sock said earlier today - if it's the last episode ever, then it is.
Heroes started in September of 2006 - those of you who were on my flist then may remember that it debuted in what turned out to be the worst ten weeks of my life. My sister's husband died suddenly, then a cousin of Aaron's did as well, my daughter had her first asthma attack and ended up on steroids and in the middle of all of this, fandom had become decidedly not fun, or even pleasant, and I was completely and utterly heartbroken over it.
And this show came along. I'd heard a little about it but I mostly watched because my comic-book-loving husband wanted to, and it was on before the debut of Studio 60, which we all knew back in 2006 was going to be *the* hit of the season and of fannishness, I mean it was SORKIN.
But at nine o'clock there was a gorgeous voice with a lovely accent and then we saw Peter (oh, Milo, you've aged well but you are so much older now, only four years on) on that building in New York - the city I love so much - and he was flying and then he wasn't and after tonight the perfection of that moment still makes me gasp.
So I watched, and I fell a little in love with the show that night. And a little more every week, and by the end of the season I could hardly wait for S2. And I watched that, shortened as it was, and I started vidding and it was all about Nathan and Peter for me, except when it was about Gabriel and Peter - the twins-that-weren't-but-could-have-been-except-they-are-better-as-boyfriends-even-Eli-agrees. So many of you stopped watching, and every time I saw someone stop, I understood why - but I haven't stopped. Heroes is the first multi-season show that I've seen from the first episode - the first ever. Friends? I stopped watching somewhere in 2000 or 2001. Lois & Clark, the end of the Wedding Season. West Wing, I missed most of S6 and a lot of S7 and even those I mostly saw in catch-up sprees on DVDs. I didn't watch Buffy until S3 or 4, even with the new Doctor Who I didn't start until Dalek. Torchwood, I couldn't bear CoE so I've seen nothing of episodes 3, 4 or 5. I didn't start Supernatural until halfway the middle of S2.
But Heroes? If this is the end, then I've been with it from start to finish.
It ended perfectly, with Claire jumping in a way that is so remniscient of not only her swan dives in S1, but also the iconic first scene, with Peter on the building, then jumping. If only they had thought to film it in a manner that modeled both sets of images, instead of only Claire's.
I still don't fucking understand why they killed off Nathan permanently. Not even the wonderful conclusion of Charlie's storyline (beautifully done!) explains anything about why somehow Peter couldn't travel back in time and rescue Nathan without stepping on any butterflies. Yes, it would take a lot of doing - and organization, which is, to be frank, not Peter's strong suit, but between Hiro and Noah and Gabriel they could have figured out a way to bring Nathan forward.
The only explanation I could theoretically accept would be that it wasn't just because of Sylar's characterization, but because Claire would never have done that leap if Senator Petrelli was still alive, because of the potential risk to him. And that's bullshit because I can think of thirteen reasons why she would.
Maybe that's one of the problems with Heroes - that the fans could think of more and better explanations for something than the writers. And there are many other shows that have rubbed near to similar issues - in Supernatural all the cracked out and sensible concepts and plots and theorizing have all been done in fanfic, too, but the show still manages to be glorious and surprising in the details of those plots, and the twists and turns they bring.
Maybe the networks should just never greenlight a multi-year plotline without having a multi-year outline.
Will the next season have more partnerships between Gabriel and Peter? Will more of them involve sledgehammers? Will Peter fully trust Gabriel, or will they just shag a lot? Will Monica and Micah ever come back? What about Molly? She would've been of some use in finding Noah and Claire, that's for sure! (And what was up with Noah passing out but not really? It was dramatic when he did go unconscious, but it shouldn't've been so easy to revive him that quickly. Does an infusion of water bring more oxygen in the form of humidity into a space?)
How will Angela react to Gabriel and Peter's newfound romance BFF-ish-ness? Wasn't Doyle an adorable present for Gabriel to give his paramour?
Unlike seasons past, given the uncertainty of another season, this was very un-cliff-hanger-y, so I'm not really trying to predict or theorize about where things will go from here. It's been a lovely run and there are some fantastic moments of this show that I will cherish forever.
As I said above...
I'll Be Okay (slightly tweaked)
It's time to let you go, it's time to say goodbye
No more excuses, no more tears to cry
There's been so many changes, I was so confused
All along you were the one. All the time I never knew.
But its so hard to let you go now, all that could have been
I'll always have the memories; he'll always have you
Fate has a way of changing just when you don't want it to.
I won't give up... I won't give in...
I can't re-create what just might have been,
Can't go on forever, baby, I can't go on forever, baby...
I'll be OK.