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So....this is my warning...this entry probably contains a lot of complaining, and most people would probably not like to read it...so continue at your own will....
I can't stand this anymore. I just want to cry all the time....I feel so left out of everything. I know that I push people away when they get too close because I don't trust anyone. I know I'm fucked up because sitting in my room right now I think about bad things. That is fucked up. I always am really depressed...I just hide it because some people don't like to read it. Some people don't like to hear it. Some people just flat out don't care.
Chill out everyone...this is not for attention...
My birthday is in 5 days, but I don't even care. I rub it in over and over again, but now I don't want to celebrate it. I want to curl up in a ball and disappear. I want to be nobody....I am already nobody....nobody cares...
I will maybe get some responses saying, yeah I care, but where are you right now??? How come I am sitting in my room, not talking, thinking about death, listening to sad music, and you aren't here???? Fuck you!!! I guess I don't have friends if my friends can't even tell when I'm not okay. I haven't been okay...and it just keeps on getting worse. Who knows what this is all for anyways? I want to give up, but I can't give in to what everyone else has...I will survive, but I have a feeling I will be cold, and loveless...My heart will not be open to people just for them to fuck me over!
I don't really know what else to say right now...I'm so sad and mad and yeah....it's time for homework...
Happy fucking friday night!
I can't stand this anymore. I just want to cry all the time....I feel so left out of everything. I know that I push people away when they get too close because I don't trust anyone. I know I'm fucked up because sitting in my room right now I think about bad things. That is fucked up. I always am really depressed...I just hide it because some people don't like to read it. Some people don't like to hear it. Some people just flat out don't care.
Chill out everyone...this is not for attention...
My birthday is in 5 days, but I don't even care. I rub it in over and over again, but now I don't want to celebrate it. I want to curl up in a ball and disappear. I want to be nobody....I am already nobody....nobody cares...
I will maybe get some responses saying, yeah I care, but where are you right now??? How come I am sitting in my room, not talking, thinking about death, listening to sad music, and you aren't here???? Fuck you!!! I guess I don't have friends if my friends can't even tell when I'm not okay. I haven't been okay...and it just keeps on getting worse. Who knows what this is all for anyways? I want to give up, but I can't give in to what everyone else has...I will survive, but I have a feeling I will be cold, and loveless...My heart will not be open to people just for them to fuck me over!
I don't really know what else to say right now...I'm so sad and mad and yeah....it's time for homework...
Happy fucking friday night!