Daydream 3/?
Title:Daydream 3/?
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Genre: Chaptered, angst, romance, fluff, AU
Rating & Warning: PG for now, NC-17 for later chapters.
Summary: Cho Kyuhyun returns to his childhood village after making it big in Seoul, and he has no intention of leaving without him again. (Inspired by the song "Daydream" from Super Junior's latest album.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior members - sighs - and have no rights over them, nor do I have any connections with their management. This is a work of fiction.
A/N.: So this update finally came! I know, I know, some of you probably waited a little for it, right? Oh, and no worries, the next updates should come a little faster from now on. As always, I hope you'll enjoy this, and do drop me a line if you do - it's always so appreciated!
Part 1 | Part 2 |
_________________________
Daydream - Chapter 3
There is a wind. It's very warm - salty. It's filled with the flowers of the fields, the scent of the animals from the small farms scattered all over this damned island.
And of him.
Kyuhyun Looks down, the staring match already lost from the very beginning. He closes his eyes momentarily before Ryeowook sees how scared he really is - and the sound of the door sliding closed makes him smile dryly - of course he wouldn't let him in.
Of course.
He takes a breath (a quick one) before he looks up and speaks.
"It's... It's been a while - you're a little dirtier than I remember you were, though."
And Kyuhyun smiles in his joke, as though Ryeowook's silent response didn't really cut him in half, as though it really wasn't that big of a deal to see him again.
As though.
And right then, his eyes cheat him into looking slightly up and stealing a second (this time good) look at Kim Ryeowook: in his face are a few patches of soot (he must have been working on the fireplace), his chin up, proud, almost. And Kyuhyun's eyes trail down to Ryeowook's battered down collar, the familiar old blue shirt still much too long for him, much too simple for him.
He is everything he remembered.
And Kyuhyun isn't a romantic, he always tells himself. He really isn't. But Ryeowook's voice, he wants to hear it; he wants it so badly that he hesitates another joke.
"But then again, they say things always get distorted in memor..."
"Hi, Kyuhyun."
There it is.
"...Hi."
"Why... what do you want?"
Silly question, Kyuhyun thinks. Silly, but absolutely impossible to answer. And so Kyuhyun stares back, silent - because now is not the right time for his answer. And the silence irritates Ryeowook, the situation irritates Ryeowook.
"Let me help you out a little - you were somehow in the neighborhood, and just happened to drop by."
Kyuhyun's mouth opens, but Ryeowook raises his hand to shut it up.
"And you were wondering how we are doing, how my mother is doing. She is doing great; she is a little sicker than she used to be, but as you can see, she's holding on very well."
Ryeowook's voice, almost unemotional, a little cold... punishing.
"And I'm doing okay...."
For a second, Ryeowook stops and stares straight into Kyuhyun's eyes, at which point his strength seems to falter - but he picks himself up again immediately.
"No, great, actually. I'm doing great. And you know how it is, nothing ever really changes around here, so it's still the same. Same old, same old."
"I..."
"And I won't ask how you are doing, because I already know - we all already know. You've been all over the news lately. I... everybody is really happy for you."
Kyuhyun looks down and laughs a shamed breath.
"...Mmm - I guess cable actually made its way to the island. Not too soon, right? I mean... gone are the days when we used to have to hike all the way to the noodles restaurant to hear music shows on the radio..."
Kyuhyun does not raise his head; there's a heavy silence, but he keeps smiling. And after a while, Ryeowook speaks, low.
"Well I... I have to go. It was good to see you again. It.... it really was."
And Kyuhyun hears a step or two before the gentle sliding of the door, the final clicking of the very small metal lock thundering the fatality of the moment.
Well, that... that went....
Now alone in front of the door, he looks up at the sky urgently (he doesn't cry, ... he never cries). He turns around, his back to the door, his eyes not yet dry enough for him to start looking down at his feet yet - and he closes them.
He little street is so narrow that he has to actually slow down and squeeze through the opening to take the usual shortcut. A tearing sound - and Ryeowook's almost-silent whine makes him stop for a second to look back at the little hand he is holding, tracing the thin arm with his eyes all the way to Ryeowook's face.
"It's fine, just my shirt. Let's go!"
He nods and the two start running again, out of the opening and into the main street.
A few ahjummas dock out of the way ("You crazy little rascals you - Kim Ryeowook, wait till I tell your mother!!!"), as both boys burst out in laughter, running even faster than before...
And the burn in his lungs, he remembers it so clearly; he tries to laugh but coughs the fish-scented air of the market. After a while of docking and sometimes running into a few people and screaming a few insulting non-felt apologies behind his shoulders ("Sorry Miss. Lee, but you were in the way!"), he dashes into the restaurant with Ryeowook behind him, the small hand almost crushed in his.
A few people eating (what must have been bowls of noodles) look up at the oxygen-deprived pair in surprise - and Kyuhyun screams unceremoniously his order to the owner of the restaurant, who must have been busy in the kitchen at the back.
"AHJUMMA!!!!!!!! THE RA.... (he coughs, a hand on his chest)...THE RADIO!!!!!!"
He remembers the woman's shrill laughter, immediately before the radio turns on.
"Assa! We made it on time!"
He turns to Ryeowook: the latter smiles back, red in the face from having been running so hard to keep up.
It must have been so hard for him to keep up... didn't his leg hurt back then?... Yes, it did, didn't it?
His eyes still closed, Kyuhyun lets out a small laughter (barely audible even to himself).
And Kyuhyun looks at Ryeowook's glassy eyes before looking down at his green t-shirt, looking for the tear in it; and there it was, on his
sleeve, with a little rash on the arm underneath. And instinctively, has though he had scraped his arm as well, Kyuhyun covers his own shoulder with his right hand.
"You okay?"
"Huh!"
Ryeowook nods, his sweaty bangs fall over his eyes, and Kyuhyun reaches to tuck the hair away. And for a split second, Ryeowook looks back at him, smiling even wider. At that moment, he realizes that they are close - so close that he can even smell him.
And Ryeowook squeezes his hand.
It only lasts about a second or so, but he remembers this moment clearly; for the first time in his life, the music from the radio in the background and the singers belching those notes - he doesn't hear them anymore. And although he doesn't know why or what it means, all he can focus on is the small, cold, and sweaty hand squeezing his.
Kyuhyun opens his eyes, the lump in his throat gone, the miserable feeling suddenly vanished;
And so he starts to move away from the door, down the stairs and around them, leaning his back against the wall to Ryeowook's house where he gently slides down. The wind has gotten a little more chilly, now (the sun is setting). He shudders a little and suddenly realizes that he left his luggage in the boat.
He hugs himself and rubs his arms briskly, settles against the cold wall of the yet very warm house, and waits.
_________________________
Kim Ryeowook locks the door gently... hesitantly. And his forehead now against the it, he closes his eyes and breathes slowly. Thankful for his nerves being much stronger than he thought they would be when this time would come, he grabs the hem of his dirty shirt, both his fists locked loosely around the fabric.
It's Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun is back, he's here, on the island. Here, right on the other side of this door.
He gently bangs his forehead on the said door once, and twice, his eyes closed shut, his teeth biting the insides of his cheek.
He looks different: they've changed his eyes. Even if there was nothing to change - they changed him. He let them change him.
And a sudden burst of frustration takes over his thoughts - he wants to kick the door open, to shout at Kyuhyun for letting them change his beautiful eyes, or anything else that they must have changed about him.
But why, why now? Now that he really isn't presentable (his left hand lets go of his shirt to wipe the soot off of his cheek mechanically before resuming to its post at the hem of his shirt), now that he really hasn't done anything worthy or impressive yet, now that he is almost ready to let go, now that things are looking up, that his mother has begun hinting marriage with Heejin...
"Oh, did he really just want to say hi?"
Ryeowook opens his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice, suddenly remembering that he isn't alone; and so he straightens up, releases his shirt and turns around, smiling what he thinks looks like an ordinary smile.
"It's not like Kyuhyuna - he used to be such a busy-body, barging into people's houses. I guess the city really changes people."
Ryeowook wipes the sweat off of his forehead and rubs his eyes slowly with his fists, before opening them and smiling brightly, gently walking towards the stairs, towards his room - away.
"Mother, I could really use some sleep - (the last words are almost whispered) I'm... I'm beat."
(She continues the conversation as he walks away, as though Ryeowook hadn't even spoken.)
"Of course, it's kind of hard to barge into a house that has shut and locked its door, isn't it?"
Ryeowook stops. The pots and pans start clanking in the background, and his mother starts talking again, over the noise.
"But then again, that never stopped him before. I guess it's hard to keep someone like him out - it takes something much stronger than a door, anyhow."
He bites his lip and looks down while his mother keeps talking calmly, reassuringly, wisely.
"Would you look at all this soup - looks like I'll have leftovers. You should take some when you go fishing tomorrow morning. Oh, and Ryeowooka, make sure you shut the window in your room dear - it's supposed to get colder tonight..."
_________________________
The birds are chirping.
The head hurts, and those damn birds are so loud. But it's warm, warm. Is it Ryeowook? Yes, that smell... Ryeowook is here. That's why it's so warm.
Cho Kyuhyun stirs a little, a sleepy smile suddenly gracing his features. He turns his head, his cheek now pressed against the wall, the invisible trail of saliva dried on his chin, his hair very much bird-nest looking. And suddenly, his cheek is cold; he frowns, bothered.
The wall is so damn cold - stupid wall.
The... the wall?....Ryeowook....outside!
It's with a start that he wakes up, suddenly feeling so many aches in his body; he grunts (he already hates mornings enough as it is) and squints away the sun prying his eyes open. He looks down at the heavy fabric covering his body, and recognizes it instantly.
It's.... it's Ryeowook's old comforter, the one he would take with him at sleepovers...
He...he must have checked up on him yesterday night while he was asleep.
He was worried.
He isn't indifferent to him yet - he was.......he was worried!
And Kyuhyun exhales a short laugh, suddenly overcome with obvious happiness at the turn of events; he smiles before bringing the said comforter closer to his nose, and he smells it quickly after looking left or right in case someone is still around (...it's all a question of composure). But he is alone - and as he makes to get up, there, in the corner of his right eye, he sees what looks like a small bowl, covered in a blanket on the ground; and on the package a small note:
My mother wanted you to have this before you go. Oh, and she wishes you a safe trip back.
Kyuhyun grabs the piece of paper, looks at it and laughs triumphantly. And as he tries to get up, he fails miserably and decides against moving for now (his legs are still asleep, and his back hurts enormously).
Coming back here was the right thing to do, he decides. And it doesn't matter if Ryeowook tries to push him away: he isn't going anywhere without him anymore.
_________________________
The water is slowly lapping at the sides of the boat, the sparkling waves gently crashing against it, slowly rocking the hull, the wood creaking under the weight of its occupants.
Her left hand tucks her rebellious hair behind her ear before she closes her eyes and smiles at the tranquility as the rising sun rays hit her face - but the real warmth, the one that really keeps her from shuddering radiates right next to her. She steals a glance at what she thinks is a serene Kim Ryeowook (he hasn't said a word since they have been out here), and tries (but fails miserably) to keep a straight face, to keep her happiness, her obvious smiling at bay.
A large wave rocks the boat a little more violently than she had expected it would, and so she lets out a small hiccup, immediately covering her mouth at the indecency - and Ryeowook laughs.
"You okay?"
She turns to look at him and nods, her hand still covering her now very wide smile. And nonchalantly, Ryeowook reaches for her hand.
"Here - you can hold on to me if it gets too rocky - go ahead and grab my shirt or something."
And as though she were a child, she obeys, her small hand instantly reaching for the hem of Ryeowook's fishing vest, and her heart nearly somersaults when Ryeowook scoots closer to help stabilize her.
But she can't loose her mind. Not today - today's an important day. Today is the day that she will finally tell him how she feels, that she will finally let him know that he steals her hours of sleep, that he's all she keeps thinking about. And her imagination graces her with beautiful images of herself, carrying Kim Ryeowook's child, waiting on the small porch for him to come back from the field...
"I... I'm sorry, I know I haven't said much this morning."
Suddenly, Ryeowook's voice whispers through the silence, cutting her thoughts off.
"I'm not usually this silent, I..."
"No no no, I mean... it's fine."
She slaps herself mentally for her eagerness and regains her composure.
"I'm really the one intruding, here - I mean guys usually come dawn fishing alone, so no... don't feel bad."
Ryeowook keeps looking straight at the sea, and all she gets for an answer is a smile. And Kim Ryeowook really doesn't even have to try, she thinks: even this way, looking afar at the sea, he is completely...mesmerizing. And so she looks on at him while he's out there, looking at the ocean, his thoughts far, his mind somewhere else, somewhere... else.
And out it shouts itself from her mouth, without her even being able to keep it in:
"I want in."
Ryeowook turns suddenly to her, surprised at her comment and curious.
"I mean, I... You... I want to know where you go when you think like that. I... I want to go there with you."
Heejin closes her eyes at the invisible punch she feels she just gave herself (it's bold, it's too bold, whatareyoudoing, why did you say that, he's not going to like that, he's...)
"It's... it's nothing, really."
"I very much doubt that."
This time, Ryeowook is stumped; he looks at Heejin without a word, apparently unable to provide her with the explication she seems to be requesting.
"What... what can I do to keep you..."
She blushes.
"To keep you... here - with me?"
And Ryeowook suddenly laughs uncomfortably, and blushes, too.
"What? Oh, no, don't be silly, I mean it's not like that, I'm here, It's just..."
"I like you."
Ryeowook stops at the confession: he sees Heejin shift uncomfortably, hanging her head low; and so he looks down, too.
"But you know that already, don't you? I just... It feels like I have to tell you, I have to let you know that you... You're...."
She breathes quickly, and Ryeowook can suddenly feel the boat becoming unstable from her shaking.
"You're all I think about... Oppa."
Oppa. Ryeowook repeats the word in his mind - Heejin is a little bit older than him, and they both know now that her use of the word Oppa confers her feelings; it's not about being polite. It's about feelings.
Feelings.
Cho Kyuhyun's smile suddenly comes back in his mind - his haunting smile, the one Ryeowook still hasn't gotten over, the one he's still always trying to find out there, when looking out at the sea.
And it doesn't fade.
Even when Heejin comes closer, and hesitantly kisses him; he feels her lips, her sincerity, her love, even her heartbeat...
But Kyuhyun just always keeps on smiling - and if he concentrates on his smile, on his lips as though they were doing the kissing, Ryeowook can feel his heart beat.
_________________________
Pairing: Kyuhyun/Ryeowook
Genre: Chaptered, angst, romance, fluff, AU
Rating & Warning: PG for now, NC-17 for later chapters.
Summary: Cho Kyuhyun returns to his childhood village after making it big in Seoul, and he has no intention of leaving without him again. (Inspired by the song "Daydream" from Super Junior's latest album.)
Disclaimer: I do not own Super Junior members - sighs - and have no rights over them, nor do I have any connections with their management. This is a work of fiction.
A/N.: So this update finally came! I know, I know, some of you probably waited a little for it, right? Oh, and no worries, the next updates should come a little faster from now on. As always, I hope you'll enjoy this, and do drop me a line if you do - it's always so appreciated!
Part 1 | Part 2 |
_________________________
Daydream - Chapter 3
There is a wind. It's very warm - salty. It's filled with the flowers of the fields, the scent of the animals from the small farms scattered all over this damned island.
And of him.
Kyuhyun Looks down, the staring match already lost from the very beginning. He closes his eyes momentarily before Ryeowook sees how scared he really is - and the sound of the door sliding closed makes him smile dryly - of course he wouldn't let him in.
Of course.
He takes a breath (a quick one) before he looks up and speaks.
"It's... It's been a while - you're a little dirtier than I remember you were, though."
And Kyuhyun smiles in his joke, as though Ryeowook's silent response didn't really cut him in half, as though it really wasn't that big of a deal to see him again.
As though.
And right then, his eyes cheat him into looking slightly up and stealing a second (this time good) look at Kim Ryeowook: in his face are a few patches of soot (he must have been working on the fireplace), his chin up, proud, almost. And Kyuhyun's eyes trail down to Ryeowook's battered down collar, the familiar old blue shirt still much too long for him, much too simple for him.
He is everything he remembered.
And Kyuhyun isn't a romantic, he always tells himself. He really isn't. But Ryeowook's voice, he wants to hear it; he wants it so badly that he hesitates another joke.
"But then again, they say things always get distorted in memor..."
"Hi, Kyuhyun."
There it is.
"...Hi."
"Why... what do you want?"
Silly question, Kyuhyun thinks. Silly, but absolutely impossible to answer. And so Kyuhyun stares back, silent - because now is not the right time for his answer. And the silence irritates Ryeowook, the situation irritates Ryeowook.
"Let me help you out a little - you were somehow in the neighborhood, and just happened to drop by."
Kyuhyun's mouth opens, but Ryeowook raises his hand to shut it up.
"And you were wondering how we are doing, how my mother is doing. She is doing great; she is a little sicker than she used to be, but as you can see, she's holding on very well."
Ryeowook's voice, almost unemotional, a little cold... punishing.
"And I'm doing okay...."
For a second, Ryeowook stops and stares straight into Kyuhyun's eyes, at which point his strength seems to falter - but he picks himself up again immediately.
"No, great, actually. I'm doing great. And you know how it is, nothing ever really changes around here, so it's still the same. Same old, same old."
"I..."
"And I won't ask how you are doing, because I already know - we all already know. You've been all over the news lately. I... everybody is really happy for you."
Kyuhyun looks down and laughs a shamed breath.
"...Mmm - I guess cable actually made its way to the island. Not too soon, right? I mean... gone are the days when we used to have to hike all the way to the noodles restaurant to hear music shows on the radio..."
Kyuhyun does not raise his head; there's a heavy silence, but he keeps smiling. And after a while, Ryeowook speaks, low.
"Well I... I have to go. It was good to see you again. It.... it really was."
And Kyuhyun hears a step or two before the gentle sliding of the door, the final clicking of the very small metal lock thundering the fatality of the moment.
Well, that... that went....
Now alone in front of the door, he looks up at the sky urgently (he doesn't cry, ... he never cries). He turns around, his back to the door, his eyes not yet dry enough for him to start looking down at his feet yet - and he closes them.
He little street is so narrow that he has to actually slow down and squeeze through the opening to take the usual shortcut. A tearing sound - and Ryeowook's almost-silent whine makes him stop for a second to look back at the little hand he is holding, tracing the thin arm with his eyes all the way to Ryeowook's face.
"It's fine, just my shirt. Let's go!"
He nods and the two start running again, out of the opening and into the main street.
A few ahjummas dock out of the way ("You crazy little rascals you - Kim Ryeowook, wait till I tell your mother!!!"), as both boys burst out in laughter, running even faster than before...
And the burn in his lungs, he remembers it so clearly; he tries to laugh but coughs the fish-scented air of the market. After a while of docking and sometimes running into a few people and screaming a few insulting non-felt apologies behind his shoulders ("Sorry Miss. Lee, but you were in the way!"), he dashes into the restaurant with Ryeowook behind him, the small hand almost crushed in his.
A few people eating (what must have been bowls of noodles) look up at the oxygen-deprived pair in surprise - and Kyuhyun screams unceremoniously his order to the owner of the restaurant, who must have been busy in the kitchen at the back.
"AHJUMMA!!!!!!!! THE RA.... (he coughs, a hand on his chest)...THE RADIO!!!!!!"
He remembers the woman's shrill laughter, immediately before the radio turns on.
"Assa! We made it on time!"
He turns to Ryeowook: the latter smiles back, red in the face from having been running so hard to keep up.
It must have been so hard for him to keep up... didn't his leg hurt back then?... Yes, it did, didn't it?
His eyes still closed, Kyuhyun lets out a small laughter (barely audible even to himself).
And Kyuhyun looks at Ryeowook's glassy eyes before looking down at his green t-shirt, looking for the tear in it; and there it was, on his
sleeve, with a little rash on the arm underneath. And instinctively, has though he had scraped his arm as well, Kyuhyun covers his own shoulder with his right hand.
"You okay?"
"Huh!"
Ryeowook nods, his sweaty bangs fall over his eyes, and Kyuhyun reaches to tuck the hair away. And for a split second, Ryeowook looks back at him, smiling even wider. At that moment, he realizes that they are close - so close that he can even smell him.
And Ryeowook squeezes his hand.
It only lasts about a second or so, but he remembers this moment clearly; for the first time in his life, the music from the radio in the background and the singers belching those notes - he doesn't hear them anymore. And although he doesn't know why or what it means, all he can focus on is the small, cold, and sweaty hand squeezing his.
Kyuhyun opens his eyes, the lump in his throat gone, the miserable feeling suddenly vanished;
And so he starts to move away from the door, down the stairs and around them, leaning his back against the wall to Ryeowook's house where he gently slides down. The wind has gotten a little more chilly, now (the sun is setting). He shudders a little and suddenly realizes that he left his luggage in the boat.
He hugs himself and rubs his arms briskly, settles against the cold wall of the yet very warm house, and waits.
_________________________
Kim Ryeowook locks the door gently... hesitantly. And his forehead now against the it, he closes his eyes and breathes slowly. Thankful for his nerves being much stronger than he thought they would be when this time would come, he grabs the hem of his dirty shirt, both his fists locked loosely around the fabric.
It's Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun is back, he's here, on the island. Here, right on the other side of this door.
He gently bangs his forehead on the said door once, and twice, his eyes closed shut, his teeth biting the insides of his cheek.
He looks different: they've changed his eyes. Even if there was nothing to change - they changed him. He let them change him.
And a sudden burst of frustration takes over his thoughts - he wants to kick the door open, to shout at Kyuhyun for letting them change his beautiful eyes, or anything else that they must have changed about him.
But why, why now? Now that he really isn't presentable (his left hand lets go of his shirt to wipe the soot off of his cheek mechanically before resuming to its post at the hem of his shirt), now that he really hasn't done anything worthy or impressive yet, now that he is almost ready to let go, now that things are looking up, that his mother has begun hinting marriage with Heejin...
"Oh, did he really just want to say hi?"
Ryeowook opens his eyes at the sound of his mother's voice, suddenly remembering that he isn't alone; and so he straightens up, releases his shirt and turns around, smiling what he thinks looks like an ordinary smile.
"It's not like Kyuhyuna - he used to be such a busy-body, barging into people's houses. I guess the city really changes people."
Ryeowook wipes the sweat off of his forehead and rubs his eyes slowly with his fists, before opening them and smiling brightly, gently walking towards the stairs, towards his room - away.
"Mother, I could really use some sleep - (the last words are almost whispered) I'm... I'm beat."
(She continues the conversation as he walks away, as though Ryeowook hadn't even spoken.)
"Of course, it's kind of hard to barge into a house that has shut and locked its door, isn't it?"
Ryeowook stops. The pots and pans start clanking in the background, and his mother starts talking again, over the noise.
"But then again, that never stopped him before. I guess it's hard to keep someone like him out - it takes something much stronger than a door, anyhow."
He bites his lip and looks down while his mother keeps talking calmly, reassuringly, wisely.
"Would you look at all this soup - looks like I'll have leftovers. You should take some when you go fishing tomorrow morning. Oh, and Ryeowooka, make sure you shut the window in your room dear - it's supposed to get colder tonight..."
_________________________
The birds are chirping.
The head hurts, and those damn birds are so loud. But it's warm, warm. Is it Ryeowook? Yes, that smell... Ryeowook is here. That's why it's so warm.
Cho Kyuhyun stirs a little, a sleepy smile suddenly gracing his features. He turns his head, his cheek now pressed against the wall, the invisible trail of saliva dried on his chin, his hair very much bird-nest looking. And suddenly, his cheek is cold; he frowns, bothered.
The wall is so damn cold - stupid wall.
The... the wall?....Ryeowook....outside!
It's with a start that he wakes up, suddenly feeling so many aches in his body; he grunts (he already hates mornings enough as it is) and squints away the sun prying his eyes open. He looks down at the heavy fabric covering his body, and recognizes it instantly.
It's.... it's Ryeowook's old comforter, the one he would take with him at sleepovers...
He...he must have checked up on him yesterday night while he was asleep.
He was worried.
He isn't indifferent to him yet - he was.......he was worried!
And Kyuhyun exhales a short laugh, suddenly overcome with obvious happiness at the turn of events; he smiles before bringing the said comforter closer to his nose, and he smells it quickly after looking left or right in case someone is still around (...it's all a question of composure). But he is alone - and as he makes to get up, there, in the corner of his right eye, he sees what looks like a small bowl, covered in a blanket on the ground; and on the package a small note:
My mother wanted you to have this before you go. Oh, and she wishes you a safe trip back.
Kyuhyun grabs the piece of paper, looks at it and laughs triumphantly. And as he tries to get up, he fails miserably and decides against moving for now (his legs are still asleep, and his back hurts enormously).
Coming back here was the right thing to do, he decides. And it doesn't matter if Ryeowook tries to push him away: he isn't going anywhere without him anymore.
_________________________
The water is slowly lapping at the sides of the boat, the sparkling waves gently crashing against it, slowly rocking the hull, the wood creaking under the weight of its occupants.
Her left hand tucks her rebellious hair behind her ear before she closes her eyes and smiles at the tranquility as the rising sun rays hit her face - but the real warmth, the one that really keeps her from shuddering radiates right next to her. She steals a glance at what she thinks is a serene Kim Ryeowook (he hasn't said a word since they have been out here), and tries (but fails miserably) to keep a straight face, to keep her happiness, her obvious smiling at bay.
A large wave rocks the boat a little more violently than she had expected it would, and so she lets out a small hiccup, immediately covering her mouth at the indecency - and Ryeowook laughs.
"You okay?"
She turns to look at him and nods, her hand still covering her now very wide smile. And nonchalantly, Ryeowook reaches for her hand.
"Here - you can hold on to me if it gets too rocky - go ahead and grab my shirt or something."
And as though she were a child, she obeys, her small hand instantly reaching for the hem of Ryeowook's fishing vest, and her heart nearly somersaults when Ryeowook scoots closer to help stabilize her.
But she can't loose her mind. Not today - today's an important day. Today is the day that she will finally tell him how she feels, that she will finally let him know that he steals her hours of sleep, that he's all she keeps thinking about. And her imagination graces her with beautiful images of herself, carrying Kim Ryeowook's child, waiting on the small porch for him to come back from the field...
"I... I'm sorry, I know I haven't said much this morning."
Suddenly, Ryeowook's voice whispers through the silence, cutting her thoughts off.
"I'm not usually this silent, I..."
"No no no, I mean... it's fine."
She slaps herself mentally for her eagerness and regains her composure.
"I'm really the one intruding, here - I mean guys usually come dawn fishing alone, so no... don't feel bad."
Ryeowook keeps looking straight at the sea, and all she gets for an answer is a smile. And Kim Ryeowook really doesn't even have to try, she thinks: even this way, looking afar at the sea, he is completely...mesmerizing. And so she looks on at him while he's out there, looking at the ocean, his thoughts far, his mind somewhere else, somewhere... else.
And out it shouts itself from her mouth, without her even being able to keep it in:
"I want in."
Ryeowook turns suddenly to her, surprised at her comment and curious.
"I mean, I... You... I want to know where you go when you think like that. I... I want to go there with you."
Heejin closes her eyes at the invisible punch she feels she just gave herself (it's bold, it's too bold, whatareyoudoing, why did you say that, he's not going to like that, he's...)
"It's... it's nothing, really."
"I very much doubt that."
This time, Ryeowook is stumped; he looks at Heejin without a word, apparently unable to provide her with the explication she seems to be requesting.
"What... what can I do to keep you..."
She blushes.
"To keep you... here - with me?"
And Ryeowook suddenly laughs uncomfortably, and blushes, too.
"What? Oh, no, don't be silly, I mean it's not like that, I'm here, It's just..."
"I like you."
Ryeowook stops at the confession: he sees Heejin shift uncomfortably, hanging her head low; and so he looks down, too.
"But you know that already, don't you? I just... It feels like I have to tell you, I have to let you know that you... You're...."
She breathes quickly, and Ryeowook can suddenly feel the boat becoming unstable from her shaking.
"You're all I think about... Oppa."
Oppa. Ryeowook repeats the word in his mind - Heejin is a little bit older than him, and they both know now that her use of the word Oppa confers her feelings; it's not about being polite. It's about feelings.
Feelings.
Cho Kyuhyun's smile suddenly comes back in his mind - his haunting smile, the one Ryeowook still hasn't gotten over, the one he's still always trying to find out there, when looking out at the sea.
And it doesn't fade.
Even when Heejin comes closer, and hesitantly kisses him; he feels her lips, her sincerity, her love, even her heartbeat...
But Kyuhyun just always keeps on smiling - and if he concentrates on his smile, on his lips as though they were doing the kissing, Ryeowook can feel his heart beat.
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