(no subject)
the rollercoaster i've been on this past week is too extreme.
1 = i want to curl up and hide and cry alone shitty
10 = i'm on the moon. floating above the clouds
okay. just...
november 5th morning - 10
november 5th early evening - 1
november 5th late late at night - 11
november 6th morning - 10
november 6th early evening - 1
november 6th now - 8
i cant exactly rate my happiness. but i have gone back and forth. i feel dizzy. im happy now. really happy now. but... i guess hahah... im not menstruating damnit. so i cant blame it on that. i know exactly why i'm feeling like this. but i feel like i dont have control. i know i do. i have to have control of my own feelings. but i dont. atleast not in the past week. i got on this ride . and i cant get off. and i dont want to get off. it wont end for many many years. i know that. hopefully i'll find some neutral ground soon.
but damn.! when i'm up... IM UP!!!!!!!!!!