Goddammit I will personally buy you fuckers KY jelly to make this a little more fucking pleasant!

Jan 30, 2003 05:31

You sons of bitches are all getting it right up the ass. That's right bend over cause it's friday already. So we're starting it off with a quote: "Tommy DeVito: But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you?" yeah I'm fucking funny; we're all fucking funny you sick motherfucker. Oh yeah you are the funny one cause you don't need a girlfriend anymore which means that you must have renewed your membership at motherfucking scandals. Nothing says "Haven to Disease" like Big A and gay bars. (Were you the biker or the indian chief?) And remember God hates gays. All of them. Probably cause he is a black man (Revelation 1:14-15 right Chris?) And I would like to state for the goddamn record that I am not and I'm quoting in a fake Russian accent "A Communist Jew Bastard." (How do you like that?) So hand me a clue Professor Plum and keep your hidden agendas on the table. And under the Full Disclosure Rules of the SEC here are my hidden agendas: I am only using you to get to her; I actually do hate you and wish you would die, soon; and I want to have children, lots of them. So in the interests of my personal sperm count I would like to ask a few questions directed at one special person. Julie, I don't think that we've ever met, do you weigh less than 120 lbs? Are you cute or sexy or in any way attractive? I think that you should be the mother of my children. I'm sure you would raise them well and teach them the right way to do things. I have a bottle of ky with your name on it. And I'll go off in you like a shotgun. (That's steven's line by the way. scary that he thought of it isn't it?) But moving on, Drama isn't meant to educate it's meant to make me into a cynical bastard that will heartlessly rape you of the few shreds of integrity you hold so dear. It's meant to make people like you into sad bastards that entertain us all with your incredibly ridiculous stories. It's also to help your overeating problem (because evidently each page of this year's WPCC script makes Chris vomit). Ok wipe your mouth and lets move on to things like: Chris don't ever give up please it's people like you that make shit like this fun. And I am so happy that you support our president. You motherfuckers don't understand a goddamn thing about politics and the shit that makes up our world so shut up about your friends getting shipped out and shut up about how brilliant bush is. Your military friends knew what they were getting into. Somethings have to be done whether it's right or wrong. Sometimes some people have to die. You gotta break a few eggs to make an omelette. Ok so thank you in advance for shutting the fuck up about how much you do or don't like the way things are; you aren't going to change things now are you? Now we are moving on. And I'm glad it's time to lay off Meghan, that bitch will suck you dry and still not be content. (isn't that right future brother-in-law? you fucking sad ass loser) And goddammit what the fuck is up with this shit? The college whore? who is that? And how come I haven't had sex with them? or do they hate me? (My guess is Big A himself but it could in fact be our favorite hippiechick) I'm glad that Noah and Amie are civil too. God knows they were pissing me off cause they are talking a lot of shit about me. I mean just listen:
random motherfucker: "Hehateme don't be such a bastard. You shouldn't pick on people so much."
hehateme: "Fuck you! Stop attacking me you sonuvabitch. I don't deserve this. People love me. I get fucking phone calls about this shit. So don't come to me with your civil shit. There is nothing more fun than problems and fuckers who cause trouble. Here's this year's script now go lose some weight or help some of those other jerkoff motherfuckers drop a pound or two cause some people I know are starting to balloon."
And I don't think anyone is grown up or can fucking justify there reasons for having a life to me. You have no idea. Your insistance on it is a brave front put up for everyone to see. Congratulations you are just like everyone else. Stand in line for your fucking gold star. And remember the only people you lie to are the ones you love, including yourself. You know where that's from? I bet you don't. But nonetheless Fuck the lot of you. I gotta call Julie and I'm out.
p.s. No one loves PWAD more than me except for Steph.
p.p.s. And no one loves KY more than me except for Julie's ass. Unless it's cold.
hehateme
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