Living Journal
Hello, blog. We haven't spoken in a while.
I wonder if anyone of my old friends on here even remembers me. Or if they even post anymore. It's been about 7 years since I started this account. Seven years. That's... simply insane. I'm sure you can tell why I'm here. I'm sitting here at 4 in the morning, alone in my room and pondering the same questions as I was with my first posts. Maybe I'm a little wiser; different even. But I still question the same thing. It never went away. It will never go away. I will always question this.
I've become so emotionally detached and lost so much passion for life in the past year that I'm beginning to wonder what the point of all of this is. I'm still in school but I don't work. I want a job. I want to finish school. I want to do a lot, but it's ever so creeping and so slow. I'm such a silly American, I just want everything all at once. Instant gratification. That's not going to happen anytime soon though so I just keep on keeping on. It's all I can do, really.
I still don't know if transition is right for me. I'm in my late 20s now and I started this blog when I was 20. Oh, how time escapes you... would it even be worth it anymore? I feel as though my time has passed and I should just shoehorn myself into a life of mediocrity and faux-masculinity. I'm happier with who I am overall nowadays, but I'm still jumping through hoops trying to wrap my brain around who I really am. A mystery wrapped in an enigma - yadda yadda. I don't know what this year has in store for me but I hope it's great, and maybe I'll finally make that jump, so to speak.
Living life the way I need it.
I wonder if anyone of my old friends on here even remembers me. Or if they even post anymore. It's been about 7 years since I started this account. Seven years. That's... simply insane. I'm sure you can tell why I'm here. I'm sitting here at 4 in the morning, alone in my room and pondering the same questions as I was with my first posts. Maybe I'm a little wiser; different even. But I still question the same thing. It never went away. It will never go away. I will always question this.
I've become so emotionally detached and lost so much passion for life in the past year that I'm beginning to wonder what the point of all of this is. I'm still in school but I don't work. I want a job. I want to finish school. I want to do a lot, but it's ever so creeping and so slow. I'm such a silly American, I just want everything all at once. Instant gratification. That's not going to happen anytime soon though so I just keep on keeping on. It's all I can do, really.
I still don't know if transition is right for me. I'm in my late 20s now and I started this blog when I was 20. Oh, how time escapes you... would it even be worth it anymore? I feel as though my time has passed and I should just shoehorn myself into a life of mediocrity and faux-masculinity. I'm happier with who I am overall nowadays, but I'm still jumping through hoops trying to wrap my brain around who I really am. A mystery wrapped in an enigma - yadda yadda. I don't know what this year has in store for me but I hope it's great, and maybe I'll finally make that jump, so to speak.
Living life the way I need it.