FYI
No, I am not doing ok. No, I am not dealing with it well. Yes, I will lie when you ask if I'm ok. I don't want to talk about how every piece of my heart has been smashed into a fine powder.
I'm trying to deal with some pretty bad depression, job disatisfaction, loneliness (and the prospect of living alone for another year to come due to the fact that I can't find a suitable room mate), insecurity, helplessness, emptiness, self loathing, self denial, self identity, homesickness and a plethora of other lj worthy emotions and I'm doing it by myself. D & D are doing what they can to help emotionally, but its not enough - I need more support. I've been considering seeing a councellor or something.
This, btw, is not a plee for emotional help/support from anyone. This is a stop trying pushing things out of me before I go loco on your ass and kill myself thanks to all the things you make me think about (in all seriousness)
I wish some beautiful divine entity would fall from the sky and offer me some guidance or some hope. I wish I didn't feel half as shit so I don't feel the need to vent on live journal. I wish I didn't have any of this shit to make my live journal yet another angsty corner of the world.
Apologies, but its getting hard to remain happy in any kind of aspect of life when you spend most nights crying yourself to sleep because there's nothing else to do.
Speaking of which, who wants to come over on Wednesday night and bum with me/stay the night? We can eat and watch stuff and then fall asleep then I can go to work at 11am the next morning. I'd offer tonight too, cept I won't get home till around midnight (thanks work for fucking over my shifts yet again). Then on thurs my sis's come over so I won't have a lonely night while they're here. I'm not particularly fond of spending time alone these days, because it gives me way too much time to think about hurty things. I need other things to focus on, that involve people I think. This, btw, is a plee for all of you to spend time with me where you can. *needy*
I'm trying to deal with some pretty bad depression, job disatisfaction, loneliness (and the prospect of living alone for another year to come due to the fact that I can't find a suitable room mate), insecurity, helplessness, emptiness, self loathing, self denial, self identity, homesickness and a plethora of other lj worthy emotions and I'm doing it by myself. D & D are doing what they can to help emotionally, but its not enough - I need more support. I've been considering seeing a councellor or something.
This, btw, is not a plee for emotional help/support from anyone. This is a stop trying pushing things out of me before I go loco on your ass and kill myself thanks to all the things you make me think about (in all seriousness)
I wish some beautiful divine entity would fall from the sky and offer me some guidance or some hope. I wish I didn't feel half as shit so I don't feel the need to vent on live journal. I wish I didn't have any of this shit to make my live journal yet another angsty corner of the world.
Apologies, but its getting hard to remain happy in any kind of aspect of life when you spend most nights crying yourself to sleep because there's nothing else to do.
Speaking of which, who wants to come over on Wednesday night and bum with me/stay the night? We can eat and watch stuff and then fall asleep then I can go to work at 11am the next morning. I'd offer tonight too, cept I won't get home till around midnight (thanks work for fucking over my shifts yet again). Then on thurs my sis's come over so I won't have a lonely night while they're here. I'm not particularly fond of spending time alone these days, because it gives me way too much time to think about hurty things. I need other things to focus on, that involve people I think. This, btw, is a plee for all of you to spend time with me where you can. *needy*