New chapter, a-hoy!
I had fun writing this chapter. XD
Apparently my Kiba likes to swear, so the rating is going up after this baby.
Title: All According to Plan
Rating: PG13 / T (rating will rise later)
Genre: Humor, Romance, etc.
Pairings: SasuNaru or NaruSasu (undecided), some KibaHina and KakaIru
Summary: Company head Uchiha Sasuke always, always had a plan B. But when he accidentally receives an IRS letter meant for his out-of-place, hippie, liberalist neighbor Uzumaki Naruto whose house is getting repossessed, he finds that one cannot have a plan B without first having a plan. This is exactly what Sasuke had when he asked Naruto to live with him… no plan at all.
A/N: I’m glad you guys think vegan!Naruto is interesting, I know a crap load about nutrition and diets and what not so it’ll be fun to unleash it on the Naruto world. Updates SHOULD come regularly after the next chapter and will be weekly after that.
I will be poking a lot of fun at PETA and vegans during this fic so please don’t take offense if you are one, hell, I was one for four years (which is why I probably know every way to insult them XD).
Tell me if you prefer a SasuNaru or NaruSasu pairing, votes will be counted in the end.
WARNINGS: Language, AU (they’re about 23 or 24 now), some OOCness(?), and HOMOSEXUALS.
Disclaimer: I asked Kishimoto if he would give me Naruto for a Klondike bar… he said no.
Mad love to my betas lazeee an demented and Bestangelbaby!! You guys are AMAZING!
Sun rays streamed in through large circular windows, scaring away any darkness that was still lingering from the night. Birds sang and chirped merrily to signal the start of a beautiful day.
Ah yes, it was indeed a good day to be alive.
Unless, you were Uchiha Sasuke, of course.
Light stretched across the room and reached out to caress the pale, sleeping figure. Sasuke groaned once he felt the uncomfortable warmth on him.
He lifted his head, hair mussed from sleeping, and scowled at the new day. The day didn’t start until he cursed the world at least once. Sometimes twice.
The birds sang louder, celebrating the warm front that had passed through the night. A pillow was chucked across the room and slammed into the windows, scaring off all the birds that had gathered on the branch outside it.
Uchiha Sasuke was NOT a morning person.
He took a quick glance at the digital clock beside him on the nightstand and lugged himself out of bed, his limp arms practically dragging on the rich, dark mahogany floors in a gorilla-like fashion.
His body always did feel like it was made out of lead at this hour.
He dragged himself into the adjoined bathroom and began his daily morning routine. He brushed his perfect, white teeth and then hopped in the shower to wash his perfect, white skin.
God, he was beginning to sound like a tube of white-out.
He got out, dried himself hurriedly, attempted to fix his hair- somehow it always ended up looking like a duck collapsed and died on his head- gave up, and then strolled in his walk-in closet to throw on his dark blue suit and red tie.
As he walked out of his bedroom and down the hallway towards the stairs, he could’ve sworn he heard whistling. But none of the maids were working today.
He shook his head at the thought of anyone being there but him.
The day just started and you’ve already started imagining things? Just keep getting one step closer to crazy every day, don’t you? He was probably hearing things. He’d just have to make sure to take his pills as soon as he got downstairs.
But when he neared the first step he glanced towards the kitchen and froze. Peeking up over the countertops was an unmistakable patch of bright yellow hair.
It took every ounce of grace he had not to stumble and slide down the stairs. Why was he here? Sasuke didn’t ask him over to fix anything, did he?
He groaned mentally at that train of thought. He was beginning to sound like some girl running off to her big, buff neighbor ‘handyman’ for help every time the oven didn’t reach 350.
Then why was he there? Last night he just- Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat. Last night. Last fucking night.
That’s when his rebellious vocal cords asked Naruto to stay with him.
He glanced at mirror hanging on the wall beside him and glared at his mouth, this is all your fault. He narrowed his eyes more at the tight lips. Traitor.
He tore his eyes away from his reflection at that final thought and sighed, beginning his descend down the stairs.
This is my house, not his. I have every right to be in my kitchen while he’s in there. Just because I asked him to stay here on a whim doesn’t mean I should let him get in the way of my daily life- WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT IDIOT THINK HE’S DOING?!?!
During his pep talk, Sasuke had made his way down the stairs and through the hallways until he reached the kitchen where Naruto sat at the table, elbow deep in a bowl of cereal… wearing nothing but a necklace.
Sasuke’s eyebrows suddenly became very acquainted with his hairline when he saw the very naked Naruto digging into his daily dose of soy milk and Fiber O’s.
After all, having a naked hippie eat breakfast at his kitchen table wasn’t exactly part of his usual morning routine.
Once he was no longer catatonic, Sasuke willed himself to move further into the kitchen to observe the blond. Was it just him or did tans usually not look so… grainy? The closer he got, the more apparent it was.
Uzumaki Naruto was sporting a dirt tan.
Obviously he’d chosen the spray of a Febreeze bottle over that of a showerhead again today. And his bare ass was sitting on one of Sasuke’s brand new kitchen seats. Had Sasuke been any less of a man he would have cried right then and there.
But he was still Uchiha Sasuke
And Uchihas did not cry over upholstery.
He’d have to check his insurance claim again to make sure it covered ‘mysterious gasoline fires’ because he was going to have to torch everything that hippie touched. Although he was pretty sure his glare alone would set the room aflame.
Hmmm, maybe the insurance covered Uchiha death glares.
He stopped in his pondering and realized the blond was too busy crunching to notice him yet.
Getting more pissed by the second, he stalked up on Naruto like a panther in brush waiting to pounce its poor, unsuspecting prey and stopped when he was standing directly behind the nude man.
He cleared his throat loudly, blatant anger, annoyance, and disapproval written all over his face. Too bad the slight tinge of pink spreading across his cheeks made him less than intimidating.
Naruto tore himself away from the maze challenge on the back of the cereal box to look up at Sasuke with a mouth full of food.
“O hay Shusake,” he paused to swallow the glob of food in his mouth, “what’s up?”
Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched in agitation, “have you no shame?”
Naruto blinked with a naïve, innocent, and down right confused expression in place.
“Uh, say what?” Naruto asked, sincerely not seeing what the problem was like being naked in a stranger’s kitchen was a normal occurrence. Hell, for all Sasuke knew, it could have been.
Sasuke looked down at his watch and groaned inwardly. Damn it, he didn’t have time to spell it out to him!
“You’re wearing air, Uzumaki. Is this another one of those PETA anti-fur things or are you just too dumb to notice?” He asked fishing the milk out of the fridge and proceeded in pouring himself a glass, still fighting to suppress his anger, annoyance, and… amusement?
Uchiha Sasuke did not do emotions. Especially not this early in the morning.
Naruto glared, “at least I have a heart, ya bastard!”
Sasuke ignored the outburst looked over at the blond. He raised an eyebrow, “what does PETA stand for anyway?”
Naruto sat up proudly and chirped, “People for the Ethnic Treatment of Animals!”
Sasuke smirked at the blond’s mistake in word choice and quipped, “yeah, I suppose someone has to look out for all those black sheep.”
Naruto opened his mouth to shoot back an insult but stopped when Sasuke lifted the glass to his lips. The blond looked on in disgust while Sasuke took a sip of his milk, “you DO realize you might as well be drinking pus and blood, right?”
Sasuke licked the remaining milk off his upper lip and Naruto didn’t fail to notice the signs of an amused smirk tugging at the ends of the Uchiha’s mouth.
“Who says I don’t?” He shot back, making sure to draw out his next sip and raise the glass a fraction so the blond could see the smooth, white liquid sliding easily down his throat. His adams apple bobbed languidly as he took a slow swallow and then lowered the milk away from his face to gage Naruto’s reaction, running a moist tongue over his full, top lip to lick away any remaining droplets, savoring the taste.(1)
He had expected the blond to be practically gagging at the sight of it or start spouting more vegan nonsense.
But he hadn’t expected Naruto’s eyes to be trailing every move his tongue made and beads of sweat to be sliding down his tanned, clenched jaw.
Their eyes locked. Naruto’s eyes widened and his face flushed. He spun around and hunched over his bowl of cereal again so far that Sasuke had to wonder if Naruto was planning on snorting his Fiber O’s like some kind of drug addict.
“Y-yeah, well, you’re pale enough to be a vampire, so that doesn’t surprise me!!!” Naruto retorted, trying to hide the shaky quality of his voice.
Sasuke allowed himself to smirk when he mistook the red spreading across Naruto’s face and neck and slight shaking as anger.
If only he knew.
“Relax, idiot. I don’t bite.” The raven’s voice lowered an octave unconsciously as he got out his prescription pills and put the containers away once he had swallowed them all dry, his glass of milk empty from his little stunt.
While Sasuke busied himself with putting the glass in the dishwasher, Naruto tried to think of all the dead puppies in the world while he silently prayed to them to will away his very naked, very obvious hard-on.
Once he got images of Sasuke swallowing a different kind of ‘milk’ out of his polluted mind, he cursed the bastard’s lips for doing that to him. He spun around and glared at said lips, this is all your fault, ya know.
Sasuke turned around and glared back at him and then bent down to retrieve something from under the sink. Naruto’s eyebrow twitched as he was given a clear view of Sasuke’s ass.
The raven pulled out a container of Lysol wipes and set them down extra hard on the counter.
He continued to glare at Naruto and made a slight gesture with his head towards the wipes, “use them.” …and wipe down everything your nasty ass has touched.
Somehow Sasuke knew all the Lysol in world wouldn’t be able to save that chair Naruto was sitting in. He’d make a mental note to throw it out once he got home.
Naruto glared back while Sasuke spun on his heel and walked out of the kitchen.
“Goodbye and good day to you too, bastard!!” Naruto called after him, forgetting about the not-so-little ‘problem’ he experienced moments ago.
He listened to the front door slam and the low hum of Sasuke’s sports car before he decided to move. He got up and dumped his bowl of cereal in the sink carelessly and picked up the phone to ring an old buddy of his.
He tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently as he waited for someone to answer.
Just as the answering machine was about to pick up he was greeted by a sleepy-sounding, mumbled, “hello?”
Naruto grinned, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING SUNSHINE!!.”
Inuzuka Kiba groaned over the line, “Shit, Naruto? What the fuck is your problem?! You know it’s an unwritten law that I sleep until noon on my off days!!”
Kiba owned the best humane society in city and was a proud PETA member… not to mention Naruto’s partner in crime.
Naruto’s grin only grew at his response. Antagonizing Kiba was one of his favorite past times. “Pfft, if I don’t follow written laws what makes you think I’d follow an unwritten one?”
Kiba only grumbled grouchily in response, “trouble maker.”
Naruto fiddled with the Lysol container on the counter while he spoke, “hey Kiba, how much do you love Akamaru?”
“More than you,” Kiba deadpanned.
“You know you love me.” Naruto replied.
“Whatever, fox boy. Why? Are you planning on setting us up on a date or something?”
Naruto stifled his laughter, “Damn, way to ruin the surprise Kiba.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a taken man. Akamaru will have to find some other bitch.” Naruto could practically hear the grin in Kiba’s voice.
“Eh? I’m surprised you got a girl to kiss you with that dog breath of yours. Who’s the poor girl?” Naruto teased, already having a good idea of who it was.
Kiba chose to ignore the insults, “remember that vet that helps me out at the shelter? Hyuuga Hinata? About a week ago when she came in to check up on all the dogs I asked her out and she said yes! Fuck, I’m psyched!”
Naruto had guessed it was the shy Hinata. Every time she was near Kiba his face lit up like a Christmas light and he stuttered like crazy. “It’s about time! You two have been making goo-goo eyes at each other for centuries!”
“Yeah, yeah. But seriously man, why’d you call me? I know it wasn’t to discuss my love life.” Kiba asked, cutting to the chase.
“Well… yes and no. Do you still love Akamaru?” Naruto continued before Kiba could answer, “enough to take him in for me?”
“Fuck yeah!!!”
Kiba paused for a moment after his out burst, realization of what that meant suddenly dawning on him.
“Alright, which box and alley are you living in now?”
Naruto snorted, “please, like an alley has a telephone.”
“Could be a pay phone,” Kiba pointed out.
“Yeah, well, it’s not. Check your caller I.D. if you don’t believe me.”
Naruto heard shuffling of sheets on the other end while Kiba obviously went to check number. He muttered curses and Naruto heard a loud thud when Kiba got stuck in the sheets, tripped, and fell to the floor.
Naruto rolled his eyes. His friends really had so little faith in him.
“Wait, Naruto, that number has your old area code in it.” Kiba pointed out.
“So?” Naruto began opening and closing the Lysol lid. He never did know what to do with his hands when he was on the phone.
“So?! You had me thinking your house got repossessed already, fuck!” Kiba said with an exasperated sigh.
Naruto stopped fiddling with the lid. “It did.”
Kiba paused, trying to piece together everything. “Then… how? What? Where the hell are you?”
“Uh, I’m kinda staying with my neighbor for now,” Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously, “he’s not exactly an animal lover, that’s why I need you to take Akamaru. Plus you’ve been hounding me for him ever since I got him. I think you whined more than he did and he was only eight weeks old!”
Kiba snickered at his word choice. “Punny Naruto, very punny. But I don’t understand, I thought all of your neighbors hated you. Why the fuck would any of them take you in?”(2)
“I don’t understand it either, but Sasuke-bastard did reek of alcohol when he asked me… but he didn’t act drunk, hmm…” Naruto said more-so to himself than Kiba.
It still didn’t make sense to him, along with this morning. He thought for sure the Uchiha was going to throttle him but yet, here he was, black and blue free.
Kiba choked on his breath, “WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, Sasuke-bastard asked you? As in, Uchiha Sasuke? The Uchiha Sasuke? Damn, you must have given him one hell of a blow-job or something because I never thought I’d see the day the almighty Uchiha would ever offer anyone hospitality!”
Kiba barked out a laugh, “man, if I were you I’d sleep with one eye open. Who knows what he’s planning to do to you!!”
Naruto shrugged and started fiddling with the Lysol lid again. “Who knows, I could’ve been his newest charity program or something.”
Kida snorted, “yeah, probably. You are pretty pitiful.”
“At least I don’t smell like the inside of a dog house,” Naruto retorted.
“Yeah, one of those probably smells way better than your funk.” Naruto could hear the smirk in his voice, “you’re out of soap again, aren’t you?”(3)
Naruto chuckled nervously. “Heh heh, yeah… think you could bring some over when you come for Akamaru?”
“Yeah sure, I’ll be right over. Fuck, this week keeps getting better! You’re the best, man!!” Kiba exclaimed, already scrambling to get dressed.
Naruto popped the Lysol lid closed for the last time, “don’t I know it. Now get your ass over here!” He said while walking back towards where the phone’s cradle was.
“You got it! See ya!” Kiba replied in a muffled voice- he must’ve been putting on a shirt- before handing up the phone.
Naruto went to hang up the phone and paused. He stared down at it in thought for a moment. He still had to get the raven back for that milk stunt. A mischievous smirk crept onto his face.
He licked all the buttons and ear piece with one long, wet swipe of his tongue and then placed it back in its cradle. That outta show the bastard.
The door chime echoed down the empty halls of the nearly deserted manor. A streak of yellow and white shot down the stairs at lightening speed.
“COOOOOOMMMMMING!!!” Naruto shouted out, nearly tripping at the bottom step and tumbling gracelessly to the front door.
He paused to wipe the sweat off his forehead on the short sleeve of his white shirt, leaving a streak of dirt in its wake.
The blond heard what sounded like a ‘fuck this place is huge!!’ and opened the door to find his tattooed friend waiting with his hands in the front pockets of his favorite gray zip-up hoodie.
Naruto opened his mouth to greet him only to let out a loud ‘Oof!’ when Kiba thrust half a gallon of peppermint scented hemp soap into his chest.
The blond looked down at the container and grinned back up at the dog lover, “Kiba, I could kiss you right now.”
“Try it and you’re dead,” Kiba scrunched his face up in disgust and clapped a hand over his nose. “Fuck Naruto, how long has it been since you last bathed?! You smell like moldy ass!”
Naruto laughed nervously and rubbing the back of his head with one hand. “About three weeks?” He offered weakly.
Kiba’s eyes widened, “three weeks?! How can you stand yourself, fuck! If it was me I would’ve given up and cut my nose off, that is, if it didn’t get up and run away on its own!!”
“Hey! It’s not that bad once you get used to it! Plus the Febreeze helps, too,” Naruto defended. He didn’t want to admit he’d nearly passed out every time he had to lift his arms up to reach something.
“Whatever, you just keep telling that to yourself and your dirt tan,” Kiba let go of his nose and opted for waving his hand in front of it instead, “but just go shower already. I’m not coming in until my eyes stop burning, fuck.”
Naruto mock saluted, “yes, sir!” He turned around and made his way towards the stairs again, “oh, and Akamaru is in the backyard. The gate’s open if you wanna go visit,” he called over his shoulder.
“Roger!” Kiba called out before closing the door and heading out back.
Six hand fulls of soap and several sprays of the air freshen later, Naruto made his way to the backyard where Kiba was busy throwing a stick to Akamaru.
Kiba grinned when he saw the blond approaching, “I almost didn’t recognize you without that cloud of funk surrounding you and, fuck, is that your natural tan?!” Kiba hands slapped the sides of his face in mock shock.
Naruto grinned back, “hey dirt’s natural too, so technically that was a natural tan.”
Kiba rolled his eyes as Akamaru snuck up behind him. The dog sat down, dropped his stick, and let out a loud, “WOOF!” Kiba shot straight in the air, squealing in surprise.
Naruto laughed and pointed at him, “wow Kiba, you got like three feet of air that time!”
Kiba whipped around and glared at him, “shut up, fox boy.” He bent down to pick the stick back up and tossed it to Naruto to throw.
Kiba looked over at him suspiciously, “so this Uchiha guy, he wouldn’t happen to be the same pretty boy new neighbor you were drooling over for two months, would he?”
Naruto paused in mid throw and blushed. It was true, when the raven had first moved in Naruto had done everything he could think of to get to know the stoic man, even if it meant doing odd chores around the house like some servant.
Sasuke had been rude to him since the get go, acting like Naruto would steal the silverware when he wasn’t looking and the two bickered nonstop.
The blond eventually just gave up, gave him the new nickname Sasuke-bastard, and became his rival instead. Although he had to admit, Sasuke was still damn fine.
Naruto cursed and finally threw the stick for the waiting Akamaru, “damn it, why is it always the arrogant assholes that are attractive?!”
Kiba whooped with laughter. “Dude, you sounded just like a chick!” His laughter died down and he smirked, “so, this is the same Sasuke-bastard. Fuck, ain’t that lucky.”
“NO, actually it’s very unlucky. The bastard made me hard just drinking a glass of milk! And I was naked!!! I don’t know how I’m going to survive,” the blond groaned.
Kiba burst out in a harder fit of laughter, “you got hard watching him drink a glass of milk?! Fuck Naruto, you’re the first vegan I’ve ever met with a dairy fetish!!” Akamaru joined in his laughter with a few barks of his own.
Naruto turned a new shade of Crayola red. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud!
“S-shut up, dog boy!!” He managed to squeak out. His face felt hot enough to fry an egg on.
Kiba wiped a tear from his eye and let out a few more chuckles. “Sorry, but you’ve got to admit, it is pretty fucking funny.”
“Is not!” Naruto argued.
“It’ll be alright,” Kiba clapped a supportive hand on his shoulder. “If this guy’s as big of an asshole as you make him out to be, you’ll be back to punching him in no time!”
The blond buried his face in his hands, “God I hope so.”
“That’s the spirit!” Kiba patted his shoulder a few more times and grinned, “well, I better be going, I told Hinata I’d meet her for lunch.”
Naruto sighed, “alright, thanks again for taking in Akamaru. I owe you man.” He bent down and shook the giant dog’s paw.
“I’ll still be by to visit, okay boy?” He leaned forward more and said behind his hand, “don’t forget to pee on his carpet first chance you get- OW!!” He rubbed the back of his head where Kiba hit him and glared up at the dog boy.
Akamaru just barked in response and wagged his tail. Naruto patted the dog on its head one last time and stood up, brushing the dirt off his jeans.
Kiba turned and began to walk away and whistled for Akamaru to follow. The big white dog proudly trotted after his new owner.
The brunette glanced back at Naruto, “by the way, Garaa wanted me to ask if you’re going to the protest tomorrow. You in?”
“Hell yeah I’m in!” Naruto waved as Kiba started to pass through the fence towards his old rust bucket car, “later man!”
“See ya later, fucker!” Kiba called back with a grin while he opened the door for Akamaru. He shut it once the dog was in and got in the drivers seat.
Naruto burst out laughing when he saw a neighbor’s reaction once they noticed Kiba puttering down the street, the car making a noise like a wooden roller coaster going up hill every time he turned.
Ding ding! The elevator chimed once it reached its designated floor.
Uchiha Sasuke stormed out onto the sales floor muttering curses under his breath, his own personal cloud of gloom and doom hovering over his head.
He almost swore that if there was a God, he was probably reclining in his Lazy Boy cloud right about now to enjoy the show.
Pencil pushers looked on in confusion and interest as he made his way through the rows of cubicles. A few shameless fan girls, and boys, squealed in delight and sighed dreamily as he stomped past their workstation.
After all, it wasn’t every day they saw the head of their company on their floor let alone muttering curses to himself and glaring at nothing.
Sasuke made his way over to the coffee machine, turned it on, and began fixing himself a pot.
His encounter with his new blond house guest this morning made it so he didn’t have enough time to brew himself a much need cup.
The meetings and kiss-asses had been keeping him from his precious cup of joe all day. Since he couldn’t stand the flavored crap they severed on the executive and CEO floors. He liked his coffee to be like him- strong and bitter. So he had to go all the way down to the cubicles to get the cheap, strong stuff.
Uchiha Sasuke was not a happy camper.
He crossed his arms over his chest, glared at the coffee pot, and thought back to this morning as he waited for it to brew.
Why hadn’t he been angrier at Naruto? If it had been anyone else he would have punched them in their kidneys or hung them from the roof by their toes. Or maybe both, after all…
Uchiha Sasuke was not a morning person.
Honestly, once he had gotten over the shock he had been absolutely livid. But when he and the blond began their regular banter he completely forgot about maiming and killing the boy.
But why? It was a known fact that an Uchiha’s temper was one of the most dangerous things in the world. Why was Naruto safe from it?
Sasuke was too busy pondering with his inner self to notice that someone had come up beside him.
The corners of Neji’s mouth twitched slightly in an almost smile when he saw the Uchiha glaring heatedly at the coffee pot.
“You know Uchiha, I think that machine is perfectly capable of brewing coffee on its own. I’m sure it doesn’t need your glare to help boil the water.” Neji teased, going to pour himself and Sasuke a cup.
Hyuuga Neji was also head of one of the most successful companies in the world. Although it still wasn’t successful as Sasuke’s, it was bigger and was signing an important contract with Sharingan Inc.
“I take it Hatake is back in town?” The long haired boy inquired, handing a cup of the black liquid to Sasuke while he poured a bit of cream in his own and stirred it.
Sasuke took the cup with a nod of thanks and took a nice, long sip. Ah, he had been looking forward to that all day.
“No, he’s still out on vacation with his boyfriend.”
Thank God, he thought, I still don’t know how I’m going to explain Naruto without him jumping to some perverted conclusion… especially if he shows up when Naruto feels like being a nudist. He thought as he looked at Neji and quirked a brow, “why?”
Neji shrugged, “you have that look in your eyes. The one you always seem to get when he’s staying with you or checking up on you. But if it’s not Hatake,” he paused to take a sip of his own cup, “then what troubles you?”
“I have a,” Sasuke paused for a moment to think of how to explain the situation in as few of words as possible, “house guest.”
Neji raised an eyebrow, white eyes focused on him, “house guest? I wasn’t aware you had any relatives.”
“I don’t,” Sasuke said dryly, gulping down more of his coffee.
“If it’s not Hatake, then who?” Neji questioned further.
Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Somehow he knew the white-eyed man wasn’t going to let him off that easily. Oh no, not today at least.
“A neighbor,” he said in a tone that meant for Neji to drop it. Too bad he already sparked the Hyuuga’s interest.
“Oh? Are they attractive?” Neji asked with a slight smirk.
Sasuke grunted, “I wouldn’t know. The layers of filth make it little hard to tell.”
“I see,” the long-haired man replied taking another quiet, polite sip, “I never thought you were one for hospitality, but it appears I was mistaken.”
“Guess so,” Sasuke finished off his coffee and walked next to Neji to place the cup on the counter. “So what brings you down here, Hyuuga?”
“You still need to sign the contract for the deal to be official. When you weren’t in your office or the meeting room I remembered you saying you couldn’t stand the coffee upstairs.”
Neji set his cup down next to Sasuke’s empty one, “so, naturally, I assumed you’d be down here.”
“Ah,” Sasuke nodded his head, “brilliant.” He said sarcastically.
“I try,” replied the Hyuuga as he began to leave. He stopped at the door and turned back to Sasuke, “remember to sign it before you leave. I’ll see you later, Sasuke.”
The raven nodded and raised his hand in a goodbye as Neji left.
He rubbed the front of his head to relieve some of the strain and made his way back to his office to finish up his paper work.
He finished quickly since every time he stopped his thoughts were always plagued by his new house guest. He needed a way to get rid of the blond without flat out asking him to leave and fast.
The Uchiha continued to sort through thoughts as he made his way out to his car.
It wasn’t until he was on the highway when an idea finally struck him. He smirked. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do.
Uchiha Sasuke finally had a plan.
TBC
1. Ten bucks says SOMEONE will scan this story and thinking that scene is a lemon. XD
2. Yes, you read right. It’s punny instead of funny because of Naruto’s bad pun.
3. Some of you asked about Naruto’s hygiene, so just FYI vegans have to use special soap since regular soap has animal fat in it. Yum.
Only a few more days before Naruto: Hurricane Chronicles :DD! AND THEN SAI, YES YES YES!!! -fangirls-
Apparently my Kiba likes to swear, so the rating is going up after this baby.
Title: All According to Plan
Rating: PG13 / T (rating will rise later)
Genre: Humor, Romance, etc.
Pairings: SasuNaru or NaruSasu (undecided), some KibaHina and KakaIru
Summary: Company head Uchiha Sasuke always, always had a plan B. But when he accidentally receives an IRS letter meant for his out-of-place, hippie, liberalist neighbor Uzumaki Naruto whose house is getting repossessed, he finds that one cannot have a plan B without first having a plan. This is exactly what Sasuke had when he asked Naruto to live with him… no plan at all.
A/N: I’m glad you guys think vegan!Naruto is interesting, I know a crap load about nutrition and diets and what not so it’ll be fun to unleash it on the Naruto world. Updates SHOULD come regularly after the next chapter and will be weekly after that.
I will be poking a lot of fun at PETA and vegans during this fic so please don’t take offense if you are one, hell, I was one for four years (which is why I probably know every way to insult them XD).
Tell me if you prefer a SasuNaru or NaruSasu pairing, votes will be counted in the end.
WARNINGS: Language, AU (they’re about 23 or 24 now), some OOCness(?), and HOMOSEXUALS.
Disclaimer: I asked Kishimoto if he would give me Naruto for a Klondike bar… he said no.
Mad love to my betas lazeee an demented and Bestangelbaby!! You guys are AMAZING!
Sun rays streamed in through large circular windows, scaring away any darkness that was still lingering from the night. Birds sang and chirped merrily to signal the start of a beautiful day.
Ah yes, it was indeed a good day to be alive.
Unless, you were Uchiha Sasuke, of course.
Light stretched across the room and reached out to caress the pale, sleeping figure. Sasuke groaned once he felt the uncomfortable warmth on him.
He lifted his head, hair mussed from sleeping, and scowled at the new day. The day didn’t start until he cursed the world at least once. Sometimes twice.
The birds sang louder, celebrating the warm front that had passed through the night. A pillow was chucked across the room and slammed into the windows, scaring off all the birds that had gathered on the branch outside it.
Uchiha Sasuke was NOT a morning person.
He took a quick glance at the digital clock beside him on the nightstand and lugged himself out of bed, his limp arms practically dragging on the rich, dark mahogany floors in a gorilla-like fashion.
His body always did feel like it was made out of lead at this hour.
He dragged himself into the adjoined bathroom and began his daily morning routine. He brushed his perfect, white teeth and then hopped in the shower to wash his perfect, white skin.
God, he was beginning to sound like a tube of white-out.
He got out, dried himself hurriedly, attempted to fix his hair- somehow it always ended up looking like a duck collapsed and died on his head- gave up, and then strolled in his walk-in closet to throw on his dark blue suit and red tie.
As he walked out of his bedroom and down the hallway towards the stairs, he could’ve sworn he heard whistling. But none of the maids were working today.
He shook his head at the thought of anyone being there but him.
The day just started and you’ve already started imagining things? Just keep getting one step closer to crazy every day, don’t you? He was probably hearing things. He’d just have to make sure to take his pills as soon as he got downstairs.
But when he neared the first step he glanced towards the kitchen and froze. Peeking up over the countertops was an unmistakable patch of bright yellow hair.
It took every ounce of grace he had not to stumble and slide down the stairs. Why was he here? Sasuke didn’t ask him over to fix anything, did he?
He groaned mentally at that train of thought. He was beginning to sound like some girl running off to her big, buff neighbor ‘handyman’ for help every time the oven didn’t reach 350.
Then why was he there? Last night he just- Sasuke’s breath caught in his throat. Last night. Last fucking night.
That’s when his rebellious vocal cords asked Naruto to stay with him.
He glanced at mirror hanging on the wall beside him and glared at his mouth, this is all your fault. He narrowed his eyes more at the tight lips. Traitor.
He tore his eyes away from his reflection at that final thought and sighed, beginning his descend down the stairs.
This is my house, not his. I have every right to be in my kitchen while he’s in there. Just because I asked him to stay here on a whim doesn’t mean I should let him get in the way of my daily life- WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT IDIOT THINK HE’S DOING?!?!
During his pep talk, Sasuke had made his way down the stairs and through the hallways until he reached the kitchen where Naruto sat at the table, elbow deep in a bowl of cereal… wearing nothing but a necklace.
Sasuke’s eyebrows suddenly became very acquainted with his hairline when he saw the very naked Naruto digging into his daily dose of soy milk and Fiber O’s.
After all, having a naked hippie eat breakfast at his kitchen table wasn’t exactly part of his usual morning routine.
Once he was no longer catatonic, Sasuke willed himself to move further into the kitchen to observe the blond. Was it just him or did tans usually not look so… grainy? The closer he got, the more apparent it was.
Uzumaki Naruto was sporting a dirt tan.
Obviously he’d chosen the spray of a Febreeze bottle over that of a showerhead again today. And his bare ass was sitting on one of Sasuke’s brand new kitchen seats. Had Sasuke been any less of a man he would have cried right then and there.
But he was still Uchiha Sasuke
And Uchihas did not cry over upholstery.
He’d have to check his insurance claim again to make sure it covered ‘mysterious gasoline fires’ because he was going to have to torch everything that hippie touched. Although he was pretty sure his glare alone would set the room aflame.
Hmmm, maybe the insurance covered Uchiha death glares.
He stopped in his pondering and realized the blond was too busy crunching to notice him yet.
Getting more pissed by the second, he stalked up on Naruto like a panther in brush waiting to pounce its poor, unsuspecting prey and stopped when he was standing directly behind the nude man.
He cleared his throat loudly, blatant anger, annoyance, and disapproval written all over his face. Too bad the slight tinge of pink spreading across his cheeks made him less than intimidating.
Naruto tore himself away from the maze challenge on the back of the cereal box to look up at Sasuke with a mouth full of food.
“O hay Shusake,” he paused to swallow the glob of food in his mouth, “what’s up?”
Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched in agitation, “have you no shame?”
Naruto blinked with a naïve, innocent, and down right confused expression in place.
“Uh, say what?” Naruto asked, sincerely not seeing what the problem was like being naked in a stranger’s kitchen was a normal occurrence. Hell, for all Sasuke knew, it could have been.
Sasuke looked down at his watch and groaned inwardly. Damn it, he didn’t have time to spell it out to him!
“You’re wearing air, Uzumaki. Is this another one of those PETA anti-fur things or are you just too dumb to notice?” He asked fishing the milk out of the fridge and proceeded in pouring himself a glass, still fighting to suppress his anger, annoyance, and… amusement?
Uchiha Sasuke did not do emotions. Especially not this early in the morning.
Naruto glared, “at least I have a heart, ya bastard!”
Sasuke ignored the outburst looked over at the blond. He raised an eyebrow, “what does PETA stand for anyway?”
Naruto sat up proudly and chirped, “People for the Ethnic Treatment of Animals!”
Sasuke smirked at the blond’s mistake in word choice and quipped, “yeah, I suppose someone has to look out for all those black sheep.”
Naruto opened his mouth to shoot back an insult but stopped when Sasuke lifted the glass to his lips. The blond looked on in disgust while Sasuke took a sip of his milk, “you DO realize you might as well be drinking pus and blood, right?”
Sasuke licked the remaining milk off his upper lip and Naruto didn’t fail to notice the signs of an amused smirk tugging at the ends of the Uchiha’s mouth.
“Who says I don’t?” He shot back, making sure to draw out his next sip and raise the glass a fraction so the blond could see the smooth, white liquid sliding easily down his throat. His adams apple bobbed languidly as he took a slow swallow and then lowered the milk away from his face to gage Naruto’s reaction, running a moist tongue over his full, top lip to lick away any remaining droplets, savoring the taste.(1)
He had expected the blond to be practically gagging at the sight of it or start spouting more vegan nonsense.
But he hadn’t expected Naruto’s eyes to be trailing every move his tongue made and beads of sweat to be sliding down his tanned, clenched jaw.
Their eyes locked. Naruto’s eyes widened and his face flushed. He spun around and hunched over his bowl of cereal again so far that Sasuke had to wonder if Naruto was planning on snorting his Fiber O’s like some kind of drug addict.
“Y-yeah, well, you’re pale enough to be a vampire, so that doesn’t surprise me!!!” Naruto retorted, trying to hide the shaky quality of his voice.
Sasuke allowed himself to smirk when he mistook the red spreading across Naruto’s face and neck and slight shaking as anger.
If only he knew.
“Relax, idiot. I don’t bite.” The raven’s voice lowered an octave unconsciously as he got out his prescription pills and put the containers away once he had swallowed them all dry, his glass of milk empty from his little stunt.
While Sasuke busied himself with putting the glass in the dishwasher, Naruto tried to think of all the dead puppies in the world while he silently prayed to them to will away his very naked, very obvious hard-on.
Once he got images of Sasuke swallowing a different kind of ‘milk’ out of his polluted mind, he cursed the bastard’s lips for doing that to him. He spun around and glared at said lips, this is all your fault, ya know.
Sasuke turned around and glared back at him and then bent down to retrieve something from under the sink. Naruto’s eyebrow twitched as he was given a clear view of Sasuke’s ass.
The raven pulled out a container of Lysol wipes and set them down extra hard on the counter.
He continued to glare at Naruto and made a slight gesture with his head towards the wipes, “use them.” …and wipe down everything your nasty ass has touched.
Somehow Sasuke knew all the Lysol in world wouldn’t be able to save that chair Naruto was sitting in. He’d make a mental note to throw it out once he got home.
Naruto glared back while Sasuke spun on his heel and walked out of the kitchen.
“Goodbye and good day to you too, bastard!!” Naruto called after him, forgetting about the not-so-little ‘problem’ he experienced moments ago.
He listened to the front door slam and the low hum of Sasuke’s sports car before he decided to move. He got up and dumped his bowl of cereal in the sink carelessly and picked up the phone to ring an old buddy of his.
He tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently as he waited for someone to answer.
Just as the answering machine was about to pick up he was greeted by a sleepy-sounding, mumbled, “hello?”
Naruto grinned, “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORNING SUNSHINE!!.”
Inuzuka Kiba groaned over the line, “Shit, Naruto? What the fuck is your problem?! You know it’s an unwritten law that I sleep until noon on my off days!!”
Kiba owned the best humane society in city and was a proud PETA member… not to mention Naruto’s partner in crime.
Naruto’s grin only grew at his response. Antagonizing Kiba was one of his favorite past times. “Pfft, if I don’t follow written laws what makes you think I’d follow an unwritten one?”
Kiba only grumbled grouchily in response, “trouble maker.”
Naruto fiddled with the Lysol container on the counter while he spoke, “hey Kiba, how much do you love Akamaru?”
“More than you,” Kiba deadpanned.
“You know you love me.” Naruto replied.
“Whatever, fox boy. Why? Are you planning on setting us up on a date or something?”
Naruto stifled his laughter, “Damn, way to ruin the surprise Kiba.”
“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m a taken man. Akamaru will have to find some other bitch.” Naruto could practically hear the grin in Kiba’s voice.
“Eh? I’m surprised you got a girl to kiss you with that dog breath of yours. Who’s the poor girl?” Naruto teased, already having a good idea of who it was.
Kiba chose to ignore the insults, “remember that vet that helps me out at the shelter? Hyuuga Hinata? About a week ago when she came in to check up on all the dogs I asked her out and she said yes! Fuck, I’m psyched!”
Naruto had guessed it was the shy Hinata. Every time she was near Kiba his face lit up like a Christmas light and he stuttered like crazy. “It’s about time! You two have been making goo-goo eyes at each other for centuries!”
“Yeah, yeah. But seriously man, why’d you call me? I know it wasn’t to discuss my love life.” Kiba asked, cutting to the chase.
“Well… yes and no. Do you still love Akamaru?” Naruto continued before Kiba could answer, “enough to take him in for me?”
“Fuck yeah!!!”
Kiba paused for a moment after his out burst, realization of what that meant suddenly dawning on him.
“Alright, which box and alley are you living in now?”
Naruto snorted, “please, like an alley has a telephone.”
“Could be a pay phone,” Kiba pointed out.
“Yeah, well, it’s not. Check your caller I.D. if you don’t believe me.”
Naruto heard shuffling of sheets on the other end while Kiba obviously went to check number. He muttered curses and Naruto heard a loud thud when Kiba got stuck in the sheets, tripped, and fell to the floor.
Naruto rolled his eyes. His friends really had so little faith in him.
“Wait, Naruto, that number has your old area code in it.” Kiba pointed out.
“So?” Naruto began opening and closing the Lysol lid. He never did know what to do with his hands when he was on the phone.
“So?! You had me thinking your house got repossessed already, fuck!” Kiba said with an exasperated sigh.
Naruto stopped fiddling with the lid. “It did.”
Kiba paused, trying to piece together everything. “Then… how? What? Where the hell are you?”
“Uh, I’m kinda staying with my neighbor for now,” Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously, “he’s not exactly an animal lover, that’s why I need you to take Akamaru. Plus you’ve been hounding me for him ever since I got him. I think you whined more than he did and he was only eight weeks old!”
Kiba snickered at his word choice. “Punny Naruto, very punny. But I don’t understand, I thought all of your neighbors hated you. Why the fuck would any of them take you in?”(2)
“I don’t understand it either, but Sasuke-bastard did reek of alcohol when he asked me… but he didn’t act drunk, hmm…” Naruto said more-so to himself than Kiba.
It still didn’t make sense to him, along with this morning. He thought for sure the Uchiha was going to throttle him but yet, here he was, black and blue free.
Kiba choked on his breath, “WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, Sasuke-bastard asked you? As in, Uchiha Sasuke? The Uchiha Sasuke? Damn, you must have given him one hell of a blow-job or something because I never thought I’d see the day the almighty Uchiha would ever offer anyone hospitality!”
Kiba barked out a laugh, “man, if I were you I’d sleep with one eye open. Who knows what he’s planning to do to you!!”
Naruto shrugged and started fiddling with the Lysol lid again. “Who knows, I could’ve been his newest charity program or something.”
Kida snorted, “yeah, probably. You are pretty pitiful.”
“At least I don’t smell like the inside of a dog house,” Naruto retorted.
“Yeah, one of those probably smells way better than your funk.” Naruto could hear the smirk in his voice, “you’re out of soap again, aren’t you?”(3)
Naruto chuckled nervously. “Heh heh, yeah… think you could bring some over when you come for Akamaru?”
“Yeah sure, I’ll be right over. Fuck, this week keeps getting better! You’re the best, man!!” Kiba exclaimed, already scrambling to get dressed.
Naruto popped the Lysol lid closed for the last time, “don’t I know it. Now get your ass over here!” He said while walking back towards where the phone’s cradle was.
“You got it! See ya!” Kiba replied in a muffled voice- he must’ve been putting on a shirt- before handing up the phone.
Naruto went to hang up the phone and paused. He stared down at it in thought for a moment. He still had to get the raven back for that milk stunt. A mischievous smirk crept onto his face.
He licked all the buttons and ear piece with one long, wet swipe of his tongue and then placed it back in its cradle. That outta show the bastard.
The door chime echoed down the empty halls of the nearly deserted manor. A streak of yellow and white shot down the stairs at lightening speed.
“COOOOOOMMMMMING!!!” Naruto shouted out, nearly tripping at the bottom step and tumbling gracelessly to the front door.
He paused to wipe the sweat off his forehead on the short sleeve of his white shirt, leaving a streak of dirt in its wake.
The blond heard what sounded like a ‘fuck this place is huge!!’ and opened the door to find his tattooed friend waiting with his hands in the front pockets of his favorite gray zip-up hoodie.
Naruto opened his mouth to greet him only to let out a loud ‘Oof!’ when Kiba thrust half a gallon of peppermint scented hemp soap into his chest.
The blond looked down at the container and grinned back up at the dog lover, “Kiba, I could kiss you right now.”
“Try it and you’re dead,” Kiba scrunched his face up in disgust and clapped a hand over his nose. “Fuck Naruto, how long has it been since you last bathed?! You smell like moldy ass!”
Naruto laughed nervously and rubbing the back of his head with one hand. “About three weeks?” He offered weakly.
Kiba’s eyes widened, “three weeks?! How can you stand yourself, fuck! If it was me I would’ve given up and cut my nose off, that is, if it didn’t get up and run away on its own!!”
“Hey! It’s not that bad once you get used to it! Plus the Febreeze helps, too,” Naruto defended. He didn’t want to admit he’d nearly passed out every time he had to lift his arms up to reach something.
“Whatever, you just keep telling that to yourself and your dirt tan,” Kiba let go of his nose and opted for waving his hand in front of it instead, “but just go shower already. I’m not coming in until my eyes stop burning, fuck.”
Naruto mock saluted, “yes, sir!” He turned around and made his way towards the stairs again, “oh, and Akamaru is in the backyard. The gate’s open if you wanna go visit,” he called over his shoulder.
“Roger!” Kiba called out before closing the door and heading out back.
Six hand fulls of soap and several sprays of the air freshen later, Naruto made his way to the backyard where Kiba was busy throwing a stick to Akamaru.
Kiba grinned when he saw the blond approaching, “I almost didn’t recognize you without that cloud of funk surrounding you and, fuck, is that your natural tan?!” Kiba hands slapped the sides of his face in mock shock.
Naruto grinned back, “hey dirt’s natural too, so technically that was a natural tan.”
Kiba rolled his eyes as Akamaru snuck up behind him. The dog sat down, dropped his stick, and let out a loud, “WOOF!” Kiba shot straight in the air, squealing in surprise.
Naruto laughed and pointed at him, “wow Kiba, you got like three feet of air that time!”
Kiba whipped around and glared at him, “shut up, fox boy.” He bent down to pick the stick back up and tossed it to Naruto to throw.
Kiba looked over at him suspiciously, “so this Uchiha guy, he wouldn’t happen to be the same pretty boy new neighbor you were drooling over for two months, would he?”
Naruto paused in mid throw and blushed. It was true, when the raven had first moved in Naruto had done everything he could think of to get to know the stoic man, even if it meant doing odd chores around the house like some servant.
Sasuke had been rude to him since the get go, acting like Naruto would steal the silverware when he wasn’t looking and the two bickered nonstop.
The blond eventually just gave up, gave him the new nickname Sasuke-bastard, and became his rival instead. Although he had to admit, Sasuke was still damn fine.
Naruto cursed and finally threw the stick for the waiting Akamaru, “damn it, why is it always the arrogant assholes that are attractive?!”
Kiba whooped with laughter. “Dude, you sounded just like a chick!” His laughter died down and he smirked, “so, this is the same Sasuke-bastard. Fuck, ain’t that lucky.”
“NO, actually it’s very unlucky. The bastard made me hard just drinking a glass of milk! And I was naked!!! I don’t know how I’m going to survive,” the blond groaned.
Kiba burst out in a harder fit of laughter, “you got hard watching him drink a glass of milk?! Fuck Naruto, you’re the first vegan I’ve ever met with a dairy fetish!!” Akamaru joined in his laughter with a few barks of his own.
Naruto turned a new shade of Crayola red. He hadn’t meant to say that out loud!
“S-shut up, dog boy!!” He managed to squeak out. His face felt hot enough to fry an egg on.
Kiba wiped a tear from his eye and let out a few more chuckles. “Sorry, but you’ve got to admit, it is pretty fucking funny.”
“Is not!” Naruto argued.
“It’ll be alright,” Kiba clapped a supportive hand on his shoulder. “If this guy’s as big of an asshole as you make him out to be, you’ll be back to punching him in no time!”
The blond buried his face in his hands, “God I hope so.”
“That’s the spirit!” Kiba patted his shoulder a few more times and grinned, “well, I better be going, I told Hinata I’d meet her for lunch.”
Naruto sighed, “alright, thanks again for taking in Akamaru. I owe you man.” He bent down and shook the giant dog’s paw.
“I’ll still be by to visit, okay boy?” He leaned forward more and said behind his hand, “don’t forget to pee on his carpet first chance you get- OW!!” He rubbed the back of his head where Kiba hit him and glared up at the dog boy.
Akamaru just barked in response and wagged his tail. Naruto patted the dog on its head one last time and stood up, brushing the dirt off his jeans.
Kiba turned and began to walk away and whistled for Akamaru to follow. The big white dog proudly trotted after his new owner.
The brunette glanced back at Naruto, “by the way, Garaa wanted me to ask if you’re going to the protest tomorrow. You in?”
“Hell yeah I’m in!” Naruto waved as Kiba started to pass through the fence towards his old rust bucket car, “later man!”
“See ya later, fucker!” Kiba called back with a grin while he opened the door for Akamaru. He shut it once the dog was in and got in the drivers seat.
Naruto burst out laughing when he saw a neighbor’s reaction once they noticed Kiba puttering down the street, the car making a noise like a wooden roller coaster going up hill every time he turned.
Ding ding! The elevator chimed once it reached its designated floor.
Uchiha Sasuke stormed out onto the sales floor muttering curses under his breath, his own personal cloud of gloom and doom hovering over his head.
He almost swore that if there was a God, he was probably reclining in his Lazy Boy cloud right about now to enjoy the show.
Pencil pushers looked on in confusion and interest as he made his way through the rows of cubicles. A few shameless fan girls, and boys, squealed in delight and sighed dreamily as he stomped past their workstation.
After all, it wasn’t every day they saw the head of their company on their floor let alone muttering curses to himself and glaring at nothing.
Sasuke made his way over to the coffee machine, turned it on, and began fixing himself a pot.
His encounter with his new blond house guest this morning made it so he didn’t have enough time to brew himself a much need cup.
The meetings and kiss-asses had been keeping him from his precious cup of joe all day. Since he couldn’t stand the flavored crap they severed on the executive and CEO floors. He liked his coffee to be like him- strong and bitter. So he had to go all the way down to the cubicles to get the cheap, strong stuff.
Uchiha Sasuke was not a happy camper.
He crossed his arms over his chest, glared at the coffee pot, and thought back to this morning as he waited for it to brew.
Why hadn’t he been angrier at Naruto? If it had been anyone else he would have punched them in their kidneys or hung them from the roof by their toes. Or maybe both, after all…
Uchiha Sasuke was not a morning person.
Honestly, once he had gotten over the shock he had been absolutely livid. But when he and the blond began their regular banter he completely forgot about maiming and killing the boy.
But why? It was a known fact that an Uchiha’s temper was one of the most dangerous things in the world. Why was Naruto safe from it?
Sasuke was too busy pondering with his inner self to notice that someone had come up beside him.
The corners of Neji’s mouth twitched slightly in an almost smile when he saw the Uchiha glaring heatedly at the coffee pot.
“You know Uchiha, I think that machine is perfectly capable of brewing coffee on its own. I’m sure it doesn’t need your glare to help boil the water.” Neji teased, going to pour himself and Sasuke a cup.
Hyuuga Neji was also head of one of the most successful companies in the world. Although it still wasn’t successful as Sasuke’s, it was bigger and was signing an important contract with Sharingan Inc.
“I take it Hatake is back in town?” The long haired boy inquired, handing a cup of the black liquid to Sasuke while he poured a bit of cream in his own and stirred it.
Sasuke took the cup with a nod of thanks and took a nice, long sip. Ah, he had been looking forward to that all day.
“No, he’s still out on vacation with his boyfriend.”
Thank God, he thought, I still don’t know how I’m going to explain Naruto without him jumping to some perverted conclusion… especially if he shows up when Naruto feels like being a nudist. He thought as he looked at Neji and quirked a brow, “why?”
Neji shrugged, “you have that look in your eyes. The one you always seem to get when he’s staying with you or checking up on you. But if it’s not Hatake,” he paused to take a sip of his own cup, “then what troubles you?”
“I have a,” Sasuke paused for a moment to think of how to explain the situation in as few of words as possible, “house guest.”
Neji raised an eyebrow, white eyes focused on him, “house guest? I wasn’t aware you had any relatives.”
“I don’t,” Sasuke said dryly, gulping down more of his coffee.
“If it’s not Hatake, then who?” Neji questioned further.
Sasuke’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. Somehow he knew the white-eyed man wasn’t going to let him off that easily. Oh no, not today at least.
“A neighbor,” he said in a tone that meant for Neji to drop it. Too bad he already sparked the Hyuuga’s interest.
“Oh? Are they attractive?” Neji asked with a slight smirk.
Sasuke grunted, “I wouldn’t know. The layers of filth make it little hard to tell.”
“I see,” the long-haired man replied taking another quiet, polite sip, “I never thought you were one for hospitality, but it appears I was mistaken.”
“Guess so,” Sasuke finished off his coffee and walked next to Neji to place the cup on the counter. “So what brings you down here, Hyuuga?”
“You still need to sign the contract for the deal to be official. When you weren’t in your office or the meeting room I remembered you saying you couldn’t stand the coffee upstairs.”
Neji set his cup down next to Sasuke’s empty one, “so, naturally, I assumed you’d be down here.”
“Ah,” Sasuke nodded his head, “brilliant.” He said sarcastically.
“I try,” replied the Hyuuga as he began to leave. He stopped at the door and turned back to Sasuke, “remember to sign it before you leave. I’ll see you later, Sasuke.”
The raven nodded and raised his hand in a goodbye as Neji left.
He rubbed the front of his head to relieve some of the strain and made his way back to his office to finish up his paper work.
He finished quickly since every time he stopped his thoughts were always plagued by his new house guest. He needed a way to get rid of the blond without flat out asking him to leave and fast.
The Uchiha continued to sort through thoughts as he made his way out to his car.
It wasn’t until he was on the highway when an idea finally struck him. He smirked. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do.
Uchiha Sasuke finally had a plan.
TBC
1. Ten bucks says SOMEONE will scan this story and thinking that scene is a lemon. XD
2. Yes, you read right. It’s punny instead of funny because of Naruto’s bad pun.
3. Some of you asked about Naruto’s hygiene, so just FYI vegans have to use special soap since regular soap has animal fat in it. Yum.
Only a few more days before Naruto: Hurricane Chronicles :DD! AND THEN SAI, YES YES YES!!! -fangirls-